


How to Stan an Idol: A Guide by Lee Taeyong

by Bambam_the_dab_lord, Idreamt_once



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: BOOII GET READY, Fan Taeyong, Fan/idol au kinda, ITS LITERALLY LIKE A GAY PARADE IN HERE, Idol Jaehyun, Idol Life, Idol Taeyong, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Rivals to Lovers, jk i still love u, min smh wtf are these tags honey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-23 22:51:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 30,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14942858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bambam_the_dab_lord/pseuds/Bambam_the_dab_lord, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idreamt_once/pseuds/Idreamt_once
Summary: Taeyong didn't ask for this. He was supposed to be a regular idol, giving out fan service, practicing with his members, but here he was instead, slouched on the couch in their dorm, watching a YouTube video on reasons why Jung Jaehyun is perfect boyfriend material. He never asked for this. He also never asked for the ticket to his fan meetOr! Idol Taeyong is a secret fan of his idol mutual, Jaehyun





	1. "I'm appreciating him"

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, it's Helena (aka Idreamt_once)! I'm hella proud of of us. Amid exams and work, we managed to do some shit together! 
> 
> Happy Reading! 
> 
> -Helena
> 
> HIIII it's your boi here and I just want to say this is like super fun CAUSE OF HELENA READ HER FICS THEY ARE AMAZING uwu but get rEADY
> 
> -bambam_the_dab_lord (AND UES I RELEALIZE HE DOSENT DAB ANYMORE)

      “Taeyong!” A voice shrieked. The said chestnut-haired male dropped his phone in shock, then proceeded to turn around to face the owner of the voice.

      “What the hell do you want, Taeil?” Taeyong groaned.

      “I want you to go write some lyrics and get off those fucking fancams.” Taeil lectured the younger. Taeyong slid his phone under his jacket.

      “I wasn’t watching fancams.”

“Bullshit, I can see your phone plain as day Taeyong.” Taeil said as he reached into the younger’s jacket, grabbing the phone.

      “This.” He said, holding up Taeyong’s phone, “is staying with me for the whole day until you can learn how to deal with your little crush.” Taeyong sighed, pathetically grabbing for his phone.

      “It's not even a crush.” Taeyong grumbled, crossing his arms. Taeil scoffed.    

      “Then please tell me what it is.”

      “I’m just,” Taeyong paused, circling his wrist, trying to come up with the right words, “appreciating him.” At this, Taeil rolled his eyes. Taeyong suddenly stands up, prepared to go on the defense about Jaehyun and his golden visuals, honey voice, and general charisma in the tall idol, but was abruptly interrupted by Taeil, who pushed him back into the chair.

      “Sorry to break it to you, but watching, like, every single fancam ever taken of him, is more than fucking appreciating him.”

      “Ok fine fine!” Taeyong said, throwing his hands in the air. “I have a fucking crush on him.”

      “Thank god you finally came to terms with it. Now Renjun and the others need help with the choreography.” Taeyong rolled his eyes and stood up.

      “Can I have my phone?”

      “Hell no.” Taeyong rolls his eyes.

      “Then how are we supposed to practice if the song’s on my phone?” Taeyong sarcastically questioned.

      “Yuta has the song on his phone too,” Taeil said simply, pocketing the iPhone.

      Elemental’s newest song was a dark concept, and Taeyong was totally digging it. Not only was the dance extraordinary, but Jaehyun in a leather jacket looked _fine,_ not to mention the skinny jeans that went with it, and the deepened eyeshadow that was blended by the hands of angels. The best part, in Taeyong’s opinion, was the eyebrows. Jaehyun’s stylist had decided to style his left eyebrow with two parallel lines at the tip of it, giving Jaehyun a bad-boy look. It made Taeyong’s knees weak.

      As Taeyong was lost in his own world, Jisung bounced over.

      “Taeyong do you have the lyrics ready for the last song?” Jisung asked, tilting his head to the side.

      “Nope. Haven't gotten to it yet.” Taeyong said. Jisung smirked.

      “What because you’ve been stalking Jaehyun?”

      “I’m not stalking him I’m-.”

      “Who knew that Dante’s Inferno own cold, city-boy leader was head-over-heels gay for Elemental’s very own leader.” Jisung teased.

      “Because it's not like you don't have a crush on the small Chinese boy.”

      “His name is Chenle, for your information, and I do a way better job with hiding my crush.” Jisung sang out to the room, not caring that the other members heard, which earned him a glare from Taeyong. Gosh, why was the maknae so annoying?

      “Well, anyway,” Taeyong huffed, pointedly changing the subject, “we should start practising,”

      “Sadly.” Jaemin mumbled, which earned a snicker from Renjun.

      “Sicheng and Yuta, stop sucking each other’s faces and get your asses over here.” Taeyong barked. The lovesick couple only pouted at Taeyong, who ignores their still-clasped hands.

      “So our choreography is going to be a little more difficult this comeback.” Taeyong explained and began to show the others the moves.

 

       “I can’t feel my feet,” Renjun muttered, promptly falling spread-eagle onto the practice room floor. Taeyong did admit, he might had drilled a little too harsh on them, especially on the non-dancers.

     "It’s not my fault that Jaemin keeps stepping on your foot during the pas de bourree,” Taeyong said, taking a seat next to Rejun’s starfish pose.

      “Yeah, Jaemin,” Renjun said, suddenly sitting up, “what the heck, man. I know you think you’re tall and shit, but seriously? Keep your limbs to yourself.”

      “I wonder if he keeps--something else--to himself too.” Johnny muttered under his breath. Renjun and Jaemin suddenly advance on Johnny, who, despite having a good three inches on both of them, was intimidated by the evil in Renjun’s eyes and the glare from Jaemin.

      “Oops, should not have said that.” Johnny mutters before making a run for it.

      “Can we ever get a peaceful dance practice?” Taeyong groans, sprawling on the floor and hoping he doesn’t get stepped on. His hands move to his pocket, where he realizes--Taeil still has his phone.

      “Dammit, Taeil. I know you’re the oldest, but you don’t have to be so bossy,” Taeyong mutters. Unfortunately, Taeil chooses that particular moment to come back from his water break.

      “The fuck did you just say, Taeyong?” his booming voice makes Johnny, Renjun, and Jaemin freeze and makes Taeyong jump. A feat, truly, since Taeyong was on his back at the time.

      “None of your business,” Tayong said, a hand on his ass to soothe the developing bruise. Since when was the floor _this_ hard?

      “Of course it’s my business,” Taeil said, tossing Johnny a water bottle before sitting down next to Taeyong.

      “He wants his phone back!” Jisung called out. Taeyong sat bolt upright.

      “JISUNG PARK!” Taeyong screeched. He was met with no apology, not even a guilty glance. Instead, the young dance legend cackled, laughing so hard that he was rolling around on the floor, holding his stomach.

      “It’s not even that funny,” Jaemin says, getting up to tickle Jisung. Yukhei pulls out his phone and starts snapping pictures of Jisung’s red and crying face. He caught Taeyong’s eye, and smiled innocently.

      “Blackmail material,” Yukhei says simply, and Taeyong hides a smirk. It was about time someone taught the maknae how to act towards his elders. Besides, Yukhei was probably going to use those to get what he wants. There was a reason as to why Yukhei represented greed, afterall.

      Their concept wasn’t too difficult to understand, but the specifics were hard. Each of the nine members represented a level in _Dante’s Inferno,_ the 14th-century epic poem. Taeyong, the leader with sexy demeanors and killer looks, represented Lust. Taeil, their oldest member, was Anger, because he claimed that his little brothers annoyed him too much. Yuta represented Violence, because he was always overprotective of Sicheng. Sicheng represented Treachery, because he would always betray Yuta for another man. Yukhei represented Greed, because he knew how to get what he wants, blackmail included. Renjun was Heresy, because he looked cute, but one in the recording studios, he was a different person. Jaemin represented Limbo, because it was the most benign of the evils, just like his personality. Johnny represented gluttony, because he wasn't six-foot for no reason. Which left the maknae, Jisung, as Fraud. It suited him quite well, actually. He loved to play pranks in his elders, telling lies to get out of trouble. Not that they would ever punish the baby.

      “Alright, everyone, fifteen minutes is up! Renjun! Jaemin! Get back here!” Taeyong yelled, catching Renjun and Jaemin, who were trying to sneak out of the practice room. There were only nine of them, how was he _not_ going to notice that they were gone? Renjun gives Taeyong a pout before trudging back into the practice room, Jaemin following closely behind.

      “Ok, Yuta, can you start from the first chorus, I need to see Sicheng’s front aerial again,” Tayong commands, gesturing for the other members to sit with him in the front of the mirror while Yuta plugged in his phone and Sicheng stretched his muscles.

      "Stop staring, Yuta,” Jisung commented, much to the others’ amusement, “We know you’re head over heels for Sicheng.” Johnny and Yukhei whoop loudly as the rest try to hide their laughter. Sicheng and Yuta were slowly turning tomato red,

      “Dammit, maknae, do you ever shut up?” Yuta groans, as Jaemin starts chanting “Yuta and Sicheng sitting in a tree!”

      “Children!” Taeyong called out, trying to silence the rowdy teenagers. Taeil glares at him, offended.

      “I’m older than you,” Taeil said, glaring at Taeyong. Then, turning to the room, he proceeds to scream.

      “SHUT IT!” Taeil’s scream makes everyone freeze for the second time that evening. At that moment, their newest comeback song starts to filter through the speaks, and Sicheng’s body moves gracefully with the beat. Taeyong finds himself smiling when Sicheng lands his aerial right on the beat drop.

      “Yes!” Taeyong cheers amid the other members clapping. Sicheng smiles, slightly embarrassed.

      “Yuta, cut back to the beginning. Everybody else, up!” Taeyong ordered, much to the others’ dismay.

      “But we’ve already done this for ten straight hours!” Yukhei groaned. Taeyong ignored him and went to stand in his position, nodding at Yuta to start the song once Yukhei finally  got his ass to his spot. The beat comes in, and they move, perfectly in sync. All in a a day of being a leader.


	2. I Hope We Meet Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, just for reference, here are the two groups
> 
> Dante's Inferno: Taeyong (leader), Taeil, Yuta, Johnny, Sicheng, Yukhei, Renjun, Jaemin, and Jisung
> 
> Elemental: Jaehyun (leader), Ten, Kun, Doyoung, Jungwoo, Mark, Jeno, Donghyuck, and Chenle
> 
> -Helena

     “Jaehyun?” Chenle’s head poked into his room, “Are you ready?”

     “Yeah, are the others?” Jaehyun said as he shoved his phone into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. Chenle turns away from the door to call out in his dolphin voice.

     “Leader’s on the move!” the maknae screams. Jaehyun winces. He hears shuffling around, a crash, Donghyuck cursing out, Kun telling Doyoung to grab the water bottles from the fridge, Mark saying something in rapid English, and Ten laughing, probably at Donghyuck. A moment later, Jungwoo's soft voice is heard comforting Donghyuck. Jaehyun sighed. It was one of those days.

     He headed out of his shared room with Doyoung and grabs the group’s communal bag, shoving a jumbo bag of chips and several cups of ramen. He checked to see if the chopsticks are already packed. Thank the heavens for Kun. He opened the fridge, counting the number of water bottles left. Doyoung only grabbed eight. Why can’t the boy count? He was the oldest, for heaven’s sake. Jaehyun grabs another water bottle, dropping it into the group’s bag. He does a sweep of the dorm, before locking the door behind him and heading to the van. He dumps the bags into the trunk with the other eight bags and slams it shut. His members are all sitting quietly, smiling at their leader, acting as though they didn’t get up three minutes before Chenle called him. He does a quick head count and nods to the manager as he slides into the passenger seat. The clock reads 06:48.

     Jaehyun is beyond proud of his group. They’ve come so far, starting from a small company to be one of the hottest groups of the era. His members were very hard working, especially during the times when money was tight, they had to share everything, from food to all nine of them in one dorm. Such proximity meant that they knew each other like the back of their hands. Being from a small company also had perks. One of them was that there weren’t many others that used the practice rooms, meaning that the loose schedules meant that they could practically live in the practice rooms. Another perk was that the group could be self-sufficient. Ten, as the main dancer, was always very involved in choreography, which helped, since most of the group were vocalists. Such an abundance of vocalists meant that the quality of songs, mostly written by Elemental themselves, were extraordinary.

     The manager parked the van at the back entrance to the music show. Their stylists were already waiting, especially since they were a little late. Wordlessly, half of them head off to change while the other half sit down do get their makeup done. They’ve done this so many times that there was no need to speak. After a while, Jaehyun’s makeup is already done, but Jeno isn’t done changing.

     “You okay there?” Jaehyun asked from the other side of the curtain.

     “Uhh...this chain is stuck,” Jeno replied. The curtain is pulled aside and Jaehyun inspects Jeno’s situation. The jacket had strips of cloth hanging from it on the back, and they were tangled with the chain on Jeno’s jeans. Jaehyun smiled. He turned Jeno around, and got to work untangling the mess. When the last knot was undone, Jeno smiled at him, his eyes turning into adorable crescents.

     “Thanks, you’re the best, leader!” Jeno said as he hopped off. Jaehyun grabbed his own outfit and ducked behind the curtain.

 

     After what seemed like the millionth time they played their song, Jaehyun was thoroughly exhausted. He was carrying himself back to the dressing room, dreaming of the black faux leather couch, when he felt another body collide with him. Suddenly, he was falling backwards. Time seemed to slow as Jaehyun fell, his arms sprawling outwards, his eyes focused on the boy that had crashed into him. Their eyes met, and time stopped. Never had Jaehyun seen a more gorgeous male. His lips were a light pink, soft and cute-looking. His skin was perfection, not a single blemish could be seen. He had silky chestnut-colored hair that fell over his eyes.  His eyes were the most beautiful part of him. They twinkled and sparkled. His eyes put the stars to shame. One thought crashed into Jaehyun’s mind at that moment. _Can’t let him be hurt_. So Jaehyun extends his hands and puts them on the beautiful boy’s waist, letting him crash down on top of him while Jaehyun’s ass hit the cold floor.

     They freeze, both of them lying on the floor. Well, technically only Jaehyun is lying on the floor, and the smaller boy on top of him. Jaehyun stares into the eyes of the boy and he stares back. After a few seconds, a giggle is heard and they both snap out of it.

     “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I—I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, and—and I tripped on my shoelace, and—” the boy gushed as he pushed himself off of Jaehyun. He tried to get up, but Jaehyun’s hands were still on his waist. He sends Jaehyun a panicked look and Jaehyun lets his hands fall. _Such a slender waist, damn_ . He watched him gracefully push himself up, and extended a hand to Jaehyun, who took it. _Wow his skin is so nice._

     “Are you alright?” Jaehyun asked, brushing himself off. Now that they were standing, he noticed that the chestnut-haired boy was a good bit shorter than he was, but _damn_ his legs were so long and skinny.

     “I’m alright, and you?” the shorter asked. Jaehyun smiled.

     “I’m fine,” Jaehyun replied, “what’s your name? I think I’ve seen you around.” The chestnut-haired boy freezes, but it disappears before Jaehyun can apologize.

     “I’m Lee Taeyong, the leader of Dante’s Inferno.”

     “So that's why you look familiar. I'm Jung Jaehyun, the leader of Elemental.” Jaehyun smiled. He didn’t think that he swung that way, but Taeyong was mighty cute.

     “I—uh—gotta go,” Taeyong stuttered, “I’ll catch you later!” He sped off in the direction of the waiting rooms. Jaehyun watched him go. _I sure hope we meet again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soft <3 -Helena


	3. Can you be in love with the enemy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY HEY HEYYYY  
> it's ya BOI here and we completed another chapter amid the summer chaos.  
> HOPE YA LIKE IT  
> \- Min

     Taeyong ran back as fast as he could, slamming the door shut and closing his eyes. It took him a moment to realize that it was quiet in the dressing room. Too quiet. _Oh shit._ He slowly opened his eyes. He was met with a roomful of knowing stares and a giggling maknae.

     “Taeyong, do you know who that was?” Jisung asked, not even trying to hide his laughter. Taeyong scowled at him. When would the maknae learn to use the honorifics?

     “Yes,” Taeyong replied. He couldn’t find it in himself to say his name. _Jaehyun_. Jisung giggled. Taeyong took a breath, ready to scold Jisung for eavesdropping and spying on him, but alas, the maknae never lets him get a word in.

     “Right,” Jisung said, cutting Taeyong off and sending him an innocent smile before turning to the rest of the members, clearing his throat, acting all big and important, “So Taeyong, as you all know, has a mega-huge crush on Jaehyun, and GUESS WHO HE JUST KNOCKED OVER?” A beat of silence. Renjun closes his eyes and crosses his fingers.

     “JAEHYUN!” Jisung screamed, answering his own question. A small “yes!” comes from Renjun.

     “Jisung PARK!” Taeyong screeched. It was too late to hide the obvious blush that had started to creep up his neck. Yukhei laughed, his deep voice booming. Johnny and Taeil high-five each other while Renjun sticks his hand out at Jaemin, who reluctantly put ten bucks into his palm. Taeyong watches his group members with bubbling anger.

     “You guys put bets on me?!” Taeyong screeched again, glaring at Jaemin and Renjun, who was busy counting the bills. Renjun smiles up at him innocently.

     “Hey!” Sicheng said, “I wasn’t!”

     “Neither was I!” Yuta called out. Taeyong rolled his eyes.

     “Because you guys are occupied with each other,” Taeyong groaned. To everyone’s surprise, Sicheng is the one that bites back.

     “I bet you _wished_ you were occupied with Jaehyun,” Sicheng said casually. The group froze for a brief second, trying to recuperate from the heat of Sicheng’s roast. Then, Johnny lets out a loud “Holy shit!”, Taeil mutters an “ouch”, and the others let out a collective “ooof”. It wasn’t everyday that the quiet dancer roasts their leader. Sicheng doesn’t react, choosing to smile innocently at Taeyong, who looks like he is a moment away from popping off.

     “Why am I friends with you guys?” Taeyong muttered to himself.  


______________

     Jaehyun plopped himself on the leather couch in Elemental’s waiting room, still waiting for the show to actually start. His curiosity gets the better of him and he searches the web for “Lee Taeyong”. A million results pop up in the search: his predebut, the various eras, news articles, and the like. Jaehyun situates himself more comfortably and starts to read the first news article.

_Dante’s Inferno Releases Another Record-Breaking Album_

     The news article is written in a way that makes Jaehyun feel like he should already know some things about Dante’s Inferno. It makes Jaehyun uncomfortable, especially since he had no idea what company was intended each time the author said “the company”, nor did he have a clue what “the title track” was. _Was Dante’s Inferno popular enough to become common knowledge?_ Jaehyun scrolls through the rest of the article, arriving at fansite pictures. A small gasp escapes him.

     There’s no way the boy from the hall was the same person onscreen, yet the chestnut-colored hair was undeniable. The boy in the hallway seemed shy and almost cute, but the man in the photo was all confidence and charisma. A GIF of the highlight dance showed just how toned his arms were, each step of his legs precise and sharp. Jaehyun couldn’t help but stare. He never thought he’d be admiring another man like this, but there’s a first time to everything...right?

     “Why are you looking at Dante’s Inferno?” Jungwoo asked, glancing over Jaehyun’s shoulder. Jaehyun hurriedly clicks off his phone, which earns him an eyebrow raise and a growing smirk.

     “Just curious,” Jaehyun replied, keeping his tone neutral. Unfortunately, Jungwoo’s earlier question had already attracted attention.

     “Dante’s Inferno?” Doyoung asked, “as in, _the_ Dante’s Inferno?” Jaehyun gulped.

     “Yeah, why? I feel like I’ve seen them around” Jaehyun replied. Doyoung’s left eyebrow starts to snake its way up his forehead. Jaehyun gulped. When Doyoung was suspicious of something, you know it’s gonna be bad. Doyoung clears his throat and takes a deep breath, about to rant. Jaehyun sighs inwardly. Once Doyoung starts, there’s no stopping him.

     “Dante’s Inferno debuted the same year as we did. Within the first week since their debut, they won their first music show win. They were hailed as ‘leaders of the third generation’. They only grew in popularity, easily selling out concerts and winning over many fans,” Doyoung turned to Jaehyun, “How could you _not_ know about them? They’ve literally been our competition since forever!”

     “Our competition?” Jaehyun asked. He hadn’t really paid attention to the other groups, just to his own and making sure his own was perfect. He only knew when they weren’t at the top, but he didn’t know who was when they weren’t.

     “Yes!” Doyoung said, exasperated, “Our fans are even at war with them 24/7! Do you ever pay attention?”

     “Our fans?” Jaehyun asked. He interacted with the fans, but they’d never mentioned waring with another group’s fanbase.

     “Of course they wouldn’t mention rivals, oh my god,” Doyoung said, face-palming, “they’re too considerate.”

     “Wait, so Dante’s Inferno is kinda our sworn enemy?” Jaehyun asked.

     “I guess so” Doyoung shrugged.

     “Well—um—can you be in love with the enemy?”

     A beat of silence.

     “What.” Doyoung’s sharp tone slices through the calm like a knife. Jaehyun freezes at him for a moment. Luckily, their manager chooses that moment to saunter in.

     “Guess it’s time to go!” Jaehyun jumped up, ready to avoid the embarrassment of answering Doyoung’s question.

_______________

     Taeyong watches in awe at Elemental’s performance. Their moves were all so clean, so synchronized. The song was fire, not to mention their vocals were very stable. Taeyong was impressed. He couldn’t help but inwardly compare their performance to his own group’s. Just as he was about to lament about his own dance skills, Jaehyun’s voice filters through the speakers, making Taeyong drop everything and listen.

     “ _Baby I don’t want nobody but you,_ ”  Jaehyun’s voice was so clean, so beautiful, it made Taeyong want to die. _Don’t do it, don’t do it_ , Taeyong mentally chastised himself. How unprofessional, to turn into Fanboy 101 whenever Jaehyun was singing. Taeyong grabbed his heart when Jaehyun winked at the crowd.

     “I'm going to have cardiac arrest soon.” Taeyong mumbled to himself, voice lost in the roar of the crowd. He watched, spellbound, by Jaehyun’s performance. Too soon, it was their own turn to perform.

     Taeyong wasn’t nervous, so to speak, but he certainly was distracted. He was thinking too much about his idol’s performance and not enough about his own lines, causing him to forget to take a breath right before his line, making him low-key choke a little on his own words. Hopefully, it wasn’t too noticeable.

 ______________

     Jaehyun was too occupied with Chenle and Donghyuck’s whining match to pay attention to the stage. When he finally settled over who was to eat the only packet of spicy ramen between the two of them, he sighed before leaving for the restroom. Just as he was exiting, a loud fan cheer made him freeze. _Holy shit._ Jaehyun stole a glance at the TV screen, which showed a certain chestnut-color haired boy’s dance break.

     “ _Like this, touch me baby,”_

     Oh, and Jaehyun really wanted to. He wanted to run his fingers through the silky soft hair and hold Taeyong’s hands and—but he was getting too ahead of himself. Jaehyun shakes his head to clear it, and scurried back to the waiting room, hoping that no one saw his complete awe at the chestnut-haired boy.


	4. Happy Brthday To You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this was a hell of a ride.  
> I hope you enjoy this, because I enjoyed writing it!  
> I'm sorry for my bad jokes, I'm kinda like Junmyeon and Seokjin type humor: cringey-funny (idk is it even funny?)
> 
> -Helena
> 
> HELENA BASICALLY DID EVERYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER BC IM A LAZY ASS SO CLAP CLAP FOR HER. ALSO CHECK OUT HER OTHER FICS IM TEELLING YOU  
> \- Min

     Taeyong awoke to his shoulder being shaken aggressively.

     “Taeyong! TY Track! Wake up!” Jisung screamed, shaking the older awake. Taeyong sluggishly tried to open his eyes. He had stayed up a bit too late watching fancams and crack vids. His fault, he will admit, but hey, who can deny Jaehyun? It had been almost a week since Taeyong saw his idol, wasn’t he allowed to at least fanboy a little? Taeyong blinked his eyes at the young dance legend. Jisung was sitting on his chest, each hand on a shoulder and shaking him to the point where Taeyong felt as though his brain had turned into mush inside his skull. Taeyong groaned. _Goddammit, why did I agree to take care of these kids._

     “Wha—” Taeyong muttered, still drunk on sleep. Jisung grinned mischievously.

     “Happy birthday, you big baby!” Jisung called out. Taeyong had half a mind to flip him off. Too bad his arms were pinned to his sides by Jisung’s legs. Taeyong tried to free his arms, but dance had given the maknae some serious muscle. Taeyong groaned again.

     “Huh?” Taeyong had just barely begun to comprehend what Jisung had screamed when another horrible noise came filtering in through the paper thin walls. It was Sicheng and Yuta.

     “If you guys don’t stop sucking face,” Jisung yelled, earning a flinch from Taeyong, who was still crushed under Jisung, “I’m going get Taeyong to switch your roomates up!” There was a sudden pause. A shout cuts through the dorms again, jarring Taeyong into full consciousness.

     “Shit!”

     “Johnny! You ruined it!”

     “Shut up Yukhei!”

     “You dimwit! You wrote ‘B-R-T-H-D-A-Y’, not ‘B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y’. You call yourself a Chicago boy?”

     “Yuk-HEI!”

     “Johnny, you RUINED the cake!”

     “Cake?” Sicheng’s voice added to the growing volume outside in the living area.

     “Cake?” Jisung echoed, suddenly losing interest in Taeyong and scrambling off the bed. Jisung’s leg caught Taeyong’s blankets and sent him toppling off the bed.

     “Jisung! Be careful!” Taeyong yelled, but Jisung hit the floor with a roll and sprinted out of the small room. Taeyong sighed as he slipped out of his bed and walked to the hallway bathroom in his pajamas. Not that it mattered, the rest of his members were probably in pajamas as well.

     Taeil watched Taeyong step into the bathroom and heard the shower running before he leaned in to call a mini group meeting. Minus Taeyong, of course.

     “Do you think he’ll like it?” Taeil whispered to the seven other boys.

     “Of course he’ll like it,” Yuta said dismissively, waving a hand before draping that exact hand over Sicheng’s shoulders.

     “But it’s one thing, and there’s eight of us,” Taeil said, somewhat worried.

     “It’s the quality, not the quantity, that counts,” Jaemin replied.

     “Besides, it was hella expensive,” Rejun added. The rest of the group nodded in agreement. Not only was the present expensive as hell, they had also bribed the manager with good behavior to get the manager to drive his personal car and not the van. Less noticable.

     “Can we skip that and just eat? I’m hungry as hell,” Yukhei muttered. They all glanced down at the chocolate extraordinaire. Yuta had made the cake, with Sicheng’s help, of course, but Yuta was no Taeyong. Renjun and Jaemin iced the cake, making beautiful swirls out of the chocolate icing. They had left the English to Johnny, who promptly destroyed it.

     “Johnny, can you grab the candles?” Taeil asked. Johnny stood up and glanced around.

     “Where?”

     “Left side, top shelf. Grab the matches, too.”

     “Why do you guys keep things so high up?” Jisung interjected after sliding into Johnny’s now-vacant seat.

     “They’re matches, Jisung,” Taeil replied, “You’re not old enough to play with fire.” At this, Renjun starts dancing a travesty that is supposed to be “Playing with Fire”. Yukhei and Jaemin jump in and, too early in the morning, they start screeching.

     “My love is on fire!” Renjun yelled.

     "Now burn baby burn!” Yukhei followed.

     “Bul-jang-nan!” Jaemin finished.

     “Shut up! I heard the shower stop!” Taeil called out. The three boys froze and moved quickly and quietly to their seats. Johnny had stuck a “2” and “4” onto the cake and shoved Jisung out of his seat. Jisung hit the floor for the second time that morning and grumbled as he moved to his own.

 

     Taeyong thought about it while he was in the shower. He is twenty-four now. Almost a quarter of a century. That thought made him shiver. _Damn I’m old_. His thoughts trailed back to his trainee days, of the numerous birthdays his groupmates shared, long before they became a group. When Jisung was a small child, celebrating his first birthday at the company, Taeyong had written him a personalized version of “Happy Birthday”, and ever since, each birthday was followed by a personalized version of the song, fitting to each member and written by the others. Some interesting ones had happened over the years, starting with Yuta’s “Japanese Prince” nickname (coined by Sicheng, obviously), to ending the song with Johnny’s parrot impressions. But Taeyong’s birthday nickname had remained fairly constant: TY Track.

 

     “Why are you guys all quiet?” Taeyong asked. Dante’s Inferno’s dorm was never quiet. How could it be? There as a certain Yukhei in it, along with...well...everyone else too.

     “Happy birthday—” Johnny started tentatively, before being completely ignored, his voice dying out in sheer embarrassment.

     “Guys, we’re a freaking band. Someone fucking sing!” Johnny said, glaring daggers at Renjun and Taeil, who were too busy trying not to laugh.

     “Well, according to your cake,” Yukhei interjected, “it’s ‘happy brthday’”

     “The candles aren’t even lit yet, what the fuck?” Jaemin added.

     “Thanks guys, really appreciate it,” Taeyong said, rolling his eyes. It touched his heart that his members thought to do this. Screw the song. They were enough. Taeyong looked at each one of his members with all the love and care of a mother. Renjun smiled, innocent and cute. Jaemin had his arm around Renjun, also smiling. Johnny was still glaring, but when their eyes met, Taeyong saw tenderness within his gaze. Taeyong’s eyes traveled to Yukhei next, who grinned widely, his teeth on display. Taeil had a hand on Jisung’s arm, a soft, almost  protective touch on the maknae, who gave him a double thumbs-up. Sicheng and Yuta, for once, weren’t looking at each other. Yuta was looking at Taeyong, and Sicheng...well...Sicheng was looking at the cake.

     “Ah, goddammit, Sicheng, you ruined my mood,” Taeyong muttered, breaking the peaceful silence. Eight pairs of eyes were suddenly on Sicheng, who looked up, not a shred of guilt.

     “Not my fault this cake is more interesting than you, Taeyong.” Sicheng replied. Not giving time for his groupmates to call out the roast, Sicheng struck a match and lit the candles.

     “Sing, bitches,” Sicheng said. He never cursed, and it jarred the other enough that they’d just followed his command. Taeyong took his seat as they started.

 

“Happy birthday to you,

 You smell like a zoo.

 You’re getting old dear Leader,

 Now a whole twenty-four!”

 

     Taeyong laughed first, before the others joined in.

     “I didn’t write it!” Taeil said, wiping himself clean of guilt, “I wouldn’t call you old!”

     “Only because you’re older,” Jisung snorted, earning him a slap on the arm.

     “Cut it!” Yukhei said, handing a knife to Taeyong, who split the cake evenly into ten slices and handed them out, starting with Jisung. As his members sat down and started to munch on the cake, Taeyong stood up and packed the extra slice in a container and put it in the refrigerator for their manager when he arrived to pick them up. Taeyong sat back down and chewed slowly, savoring the cake.

     “Yuta, this is so good!” Jaemin said, looking absolutely blissed out as he shoved another mouthful into his face. Yuta grinned at him, proud, and swiped a chunk of chocolate icing off Renjun’s plate and smeared it on Jaemin’s cheek.

     “Hey! You’re going to give me acne!” Jaemin cried, furiously wiping at his face with a napkin.

     “Shut up, you don’t _get_ acne,” Renjun muttered. Nonetheless, Renjun still took another napkin and wiped it gently.

     “A whole whipped boyfriend,” Yuta muttered.

     “As if you aren’t one,” Taeil’s snarky reply made Sicheng’s face red.

     “Shhhhh,” Yuta hissed. There was no point in hiding. Taeyong watched the exchange with a smile on his face. These kids weren’t his, but they might as well have been, with the look in Taeyong’s eyes.

     “SHIT!” Yukhei shouted, scaring them all, “I left the present in my room!” Yukhei leaped up and scampered off.

     “ _Our_ room,” Johnny muttered. Yukhei runs back with a box in his hands, messily wrapped and tape stuck everywhere, but it’s the thought that counts.

     “Here!” Yukhei said, handing it to Taeyong, who gingerly pulled aside the paper.

     “It’s small, but it’s worth it, I think,” Yukhei said.

     “An Amazon delivery? Really?” Taeyong said, looking at the logo of the box.

     “Ama-John” Johnny muttered. Taeyong paid no heed.

     Taeyong cut the tape off and opened the box, pulling aside what seemed to be layers and layers of bubble wrap, before reaching in and pulling out…

     “No, no way,” Taeyong whispered. His fingers found the spine of an album. Taeyong pulled it out and his eyes felt like they were about to pop out.

     “No way, did you guys just get me the comeback album?” Taeyong whispered again, disbelief evident. He stared at the words _Elemental_ written in golden letters on the cover.

     “Yes! There’s more, come on, come on!” Jisung chanted.

     Taeyong gently peeled off the clear plastic wrap, opening the photo book and shrieking when a Jaehyun photo card fell out.

     “Still more!” Johnny said. Taeyong gently placed the photocard back into the box. He flipped through the photo book before landing on the last page, his eyes falling on a smaller piece of detachable paper.

     “No...you didn’t…” Taeyong gawked, still trying to make sure his eyes were reading it right.

     “YES WE DID!” Yukhei whoops. Shouts of joy and applause around the table still isn’t enough for Taeyong to tear his eyes off of the paper.

     “You did _not_ just get me an album, with a _Jaehyun_ photocard, and...and…” Taeyong trailed off. Johnny nodded.

     “It was hella expensive. I had to go on Amazon and search, not only for a Jaehyun photocard album, but also one with that ticket. Bought from a fansite, hope my credit card doesn’t get stolen,” Johnny said.

     “You guys, I don’t know what to say!” Taeyong could feel the tears coming to his eyes, “tell me this isn’t real.” Taeil rolled his eyes.

     “You big baby,” Taeil said, voice loud and clear, “we bought you Elemental’s newest album with a Jaehyun photocard, _and_ it has an exclusive ticket to their fansigning _tonight_ ,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based Taeyong's fansign reaction 100% off of my own reaction to IF I ever got to see NCT, but let's be real. *cries*
> 
> -Helena


	5. @jj_yoonoh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Markhyuck because "I honestly forgot that Markhyuck is a thing" -bam_bam, 2k18  
> (exposed) (but i forgot too it's ok)  
> -Helena
> 
> IVE BEEN EXPOSED RIP  
> we were both like freaking about about this chapter like. You have no idea what we have in store. 
> 
> \- your boy bam to the h a m

     “Is this ok?” Taeyong asked, looking at his outfit in the mirror. Skinny jeans with rips at the knees that showed off his thighs and a simply casual T-shirt and a black jacket. He had never been this unsure of his own outfits in his life. Of course, Johnny was no help, as usual.  

     “For like the hundredth time, yes.” Johnny said laying on the bed, not really paying attention to his leader, “But remember you need to be inconspicuous. Otherwise there might be a riot. And a scandal. I’m not sure which is worse.”

     “I know, I know. I just want to look good.”

     “Well you might want to hurry up because you have 30 minutes until you have to go.”

     “Fuck!”

      Taeyong was shaking with nervousness. Here he was, sitting in the passenger seat of his manager’s car, being driven to the fansign of his life. He took out his phone and opened the group chat, groaning when he realized that someone had changed the group chat name _again_.

 

**Whipped AF TY Track**

**Leadermom:** who changed the name again?                   

 **Chicago_boi:** yukhei

 **Injunnie:** yukhei

 **Nana_nana_batman:** yukhei    

 **Old_man:** yukhei

 **Jisung_pwark:** yukhei

 **yuk-HEY!:** what did i do

 **Leadermom:** I’m almost at the place.                   

 **Japanese_Prince:** don’t make it obvious ur whipped af, k?

 **Leadermom:** when have I ever?                   

 **Sichenggg:** yesterday at 3:43 PM, u screamed so loud at a video of him that the windows were cracking.

 **Old_man:** not as loud as u two kissing tho

 **Chicago_boi:** it honestly sounds like you're sucking out each other's souls.

 **Chicago_boi:** Like calm down

 **Jisung_pwark:** roasted

 **yuk-HEY!:** Jisung you haven't even had your first kiss yet

 **Jisung_pwark:** what did I do to deserve this slander

 **Injunnie:** Breathing   

 **Nana_nana_batman:** Living

 **Jisung_pwark:** I’m going to go eat some mint ice cream

 **Old_man:** Why mint? that's mine u butt

 **Jisung_pwark:** Its like toothpaste for my shitty soul.

 **Leadermom:** LANGUAGE                   

 **Chicago_boi:** the real question is

 **Chicago_boi:** have Yuwin done anything else

 **Leadermom:** there are CHILDREN in this group chat!!!                   

 

[ **Japanese_Prince** _has changed_ **Sichenggg** _s' name to_

 **King_of_China** ]

 **King_of_China:** stop no, that’s my daddy’s name

 **Japanese_Prince:** Excuse me?!?

[ **King_of_China** _has changed_ **King_of_China** _’s name to_

 **Sicheggg** ]

 **yuk-HEY!:** what a playa

 **Japanese_Prince:** what daddy?! sicheng?!

 **Leadermom:** he means Lay                   

 **Leadermom:** Yixing adopted him, remember?                   

 **Jisung_pwark:** Mom, who’s my dad?

 **Leadermom:** I’m here, gotta go bye!                   

 **Injunnie:** wow what a smooth skrrt

 **Jisung_pwark:** Mom?

 

     Taeyong was anxious, to say the least. He was the last person in line, having barely made it in on time. He pulled his hat down lower and his mask higher. Nonetheless, someone had started whispering.

     “Doesn’t he look like someone I’ve seen before?”

     “I can’t really tell. I can barely see his eyes,”

     Taeyong shivers inwardly. Last thing he needed was for fangirls to recognize him and expose him. He glances around, before he catches sight of _him._

     Jaehyun sits at the end of the line, smiling and conversing easily with fans. Taeyong fidgets a little nervously. He knows that the chances of Jaehyun remembering him are slim to none; after all, how many people have already come through? Taeyong himself can barely remember the faces at each fanmeet. He sighed. Oh well, at least the momentary attention is worth it, right? Taeyong takes a deep breath, pulling out his AirPods, and watching the line filter through slowly. 

* * *

 

 

     Jaehyun was growing restless, exhausted from keeping a smile on his face for so long. It wasn’t that he hated smiling, it was that he had been smiling for almost six hours straight. The growing pile of fan gifts was, however, worth the effort. Nonetheless, Jaehyun just wanted to go home and sleep for hours, maybe days.

     Jaehyun eyed the queue. It was closing up, about to end the influx of fans, but not before someone ran up to it. A boy with a black cap and a matching mask had run up, and after the usual checks, patiently got in the long line. Too far away to make out his face, but something about him was familiar. Before Jaehyun could figure it out, a fan had appeared in front of him, and he went back to smiling, the thought of the last boy still on his mind.

* * *

      Taeyong started playing with his sleeves. There were only around ten people in front of him now, and he was feeling butterflies in his stomach. A sudden high-pitched laugh sounds through the space, startling Taeyong out of his thoughts. His eyes find a small blonde boy with the cutest smile. _Chenle._ Taeyong knew him from the thousands of videos he’d watched. _Should I get an autograph from Chenle for Jisung?_ Taeyong debated for a moment. _Nah, maknae needs to learn his lesson._ He thought this now, but when time comes, he’ll still ask for Jisung’s name. He pulled his cap lower over his eyes and readjusted his mask so that it would still cover most of his face. Too soon, he’s walking up the steps of the stage and waiting for the girl in front to move.

     “Hello!” The first person greets Taeyong, who snaps out of his nervousness to face him. The boy attractive, but in a cute, bunny-like way. _This is Doyoung._

     “Hi, Doyoung!” Taeyong managed. He hoped he didn’t sound overly constipated. He watched the elegant curves as Doyoung signed the album, before handing it back with a smile.

     “Thank you!” Taeyong said as he moved on to the next person. He makes eye contact with a majestic Thai prince. Shit, nope, that’s _the_ Thai prince.

     “How are you today?” Ten asked as he gently took the album from Taeyong. Taeyong gulped.

     “I’m fine, thanks.” Taeyong replied, high-key glad his voice didn’t crack. Ten looks up at him, and a small smile blooms on his face.

     “You’re welcome, Taeyong.” Ten whispered. Taeyong looked at Ten in horror. Ten smiled again, and put a finger to his lips. Taeyong relaxed. Ten wouldn’t give Taeyong away.

     “Chenle! Stop!” Donghyuck hissed. Taeyong watched in amusement as the two youngest of Elemental bicker over who gets the stuffed bear.

     “Chenle, you have a fan waiting.” A strict but kind voice cuts through the squabble. Chenle glanced sheepishly at his leader before turning to Taeyong with a wide smile.

     “Hello! I’m Chenle!” Chenle greeted happily and took the album from Taeyong.

     “Um...could you do me a favor?” Taeyong asked, “I have little brother who is a big fan of you...do you mind—” Dang, he was really bad at this.

     “Sure! What’s his name?” Chenle asked.

     “Jisung.” Taeyong replied. Something flashed in Chenle’s eyes. Before Taeyong could identify what it was, it had already disappeared. Chenle’s smile was back on his face and he signed the album.

     “Nice to see a male fan,” Donghyuck greeted Taeyong. Taeyong laughed lightly. He understood.

     “Shut up, you’re taken anyway.” A huff from Mark. Donghyuck looked at Mark, stuck his tongue out, which Mark ignored, and turned back to Taeyong.

     “Nice to finally meet the band I stan,” Taeyong replied. Donghyuck grinned at Taeyong and signed his album. He then scribbled a note that Taeyong couldn’t read before handing the album to Mark.

     “Sorry, the duck missed his morning coffee today.” Mark explained, earning him a smack on the arm from Donghyuck. He, too, left a small note and handed the album to his left.

     Jungwoo signed and passed with a sanguine smile. Jeno gave Taeyong such cute eyesmiles that Taeyong, who never doubted his own looks, a little bit envious. Kun raised an eyebrow at Taeyong. Taeyong had the weirdest feeling that Kun knew something that he was not letting on, but nonetheless said nothing. Finally. Finally it was Jaehyun. The butterflies in Taeyong’s stomach returned in full force.

     “Nice to see you today.” Jaehyun said amicably. Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek.

     “N—Nice to see you too!” Taeyong squeaked. Unbeknownst to Taeyong, Kun and Ten shared a knowing smirk.

     “How are you today?” Jaehyun asked while signing the album.

     “I’m f—fine. Thanks!” Taeyong stuttered. Jaehyun finished signing his album and looked up to give it back to Taeyong, and their eyes met. 

* * *

 

     Jaehyun froze, album still raised halfway in the air. One would think that, in this industry, Jaehyun saw enough beautiful people not the be alarmed, but alas. A sense of déjà vu crashed over him. It took Jaehyun a moment to realize that the fan’s hand was also on the album. Jaehyun abruptly let go of the album and collected himself. He smiled at the astonishingly attractive fan. The fan bowed and left, with Jaehyun watching his back.

 

     Taeyong panicked. Did Jaehyun recognize him? Taeyong mentally scolded himself for the awkwardness that had just ensued. Here he was, sitting once again in the backseat of his manager’s car, thinking about Jaehyun. Taeyong flips through his signed album absentmindedly. He pauses on Chenle’s signature, admiring how cute it is.

 

_Hello Jisung!_

_I hope we meet one day!_

_-Chenle_

     Taeyong continues to flip through the pages. Donghyuck’s makes him freeze.

 

_We’ve been expecting you_

_Haechan_

 

     What the heck does that mean? Taeyong frowns before turning to Mark’s page.

 

**His KKT is**

**@jj_yoonoh**

 

**Mark**

     Did...Did Taeyong just get Jaehyun’s contact?


	6. Grade A Fan-Service

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy mother of tarnation did I mess up chapter 1.  
> I fixed it though.  
> Thanks for pointing it out!  
> -Helena
> 
> LOL heyyy so we have gotten another chapter done and holy shit school starts in like three weeks brb imma jump off a cliff. 
> 
> \- Min

     Jaehyun curled up on his bed and scrolled through his phone. Doyoung was still studying (or so he claimed), so he was alone in their room, acting like a child and making himself as small as possible in his duvet. The strange feelings from the fansign haven’t left him, but were instead placated. Jaehyun couldn’t help but feel that something was off about his members. Kun had ordered jjajangmyeon, and the manager had agreed to pay. Kun would never allow the members to buy food, claiming that it was unhealthy, and the manager would never agree, much less _pay_ for it. Doyoung and Jungwoo had cleared the table without being asked, and Jeno had volunteered to shower last. Donghyuck and Chenle had actually gone to bed without arguing with each other over who gets to hug the giant Rilakkuma. Perhaps the most unsettling one was that Ten wouldn’t stop smiling. Ok, to say that Ten never smiled was an overstatement, Jaehyun knew, but Ten smiling _this_ much was suspicious. _Very_ suspicious. Jaehyun felt as though his members knew something that he didn’t, and it was disturbing his sleep. He sighed. It was almost midnight, he should be getting as much sleep as he possibly could. He was just about to put his phone down when it lit up with a new message.

     Unbeknowst to Jaehyun, the members were having a secret meeting in Mark and Donghyuck’s room.

     “Well, I’d say part one is a success.” Mark said. The others nodded, except for Chenle, who was busy snoring on Kun’s shoulder (read: Kun was going to carry him back to their room later).

     “I’m never doing that again, though.” Mark said, leaning back into Hyuck’s pillows.

     “It was just Amazon, Mark.” Ten said.

     “Yes, but to make sure that the person we wanted to buy the album bought it was so complicated. I could have made so much more money if I’d let it auction!” Mark complained.

     “How did you guys do that?” Jungwoo asked.

     “Oh, Doyoung hacked the credit cards.” Mark shrugged.

     “Doyoung did _what?_ ” Kun whisper-shrieked.

     “It wasn’t that difficult, Johnny Seo really shouldn’t leave his credit card number saved with his account.”

     “How do you know he even had an account?” Kun asked.

     “He’s American,” Mark replied, rolling his eyes, “Literally every American does.”

     “Oh shit, you right.”  Kun nodded.

     “But Mark isn’t American?” A half-asleep Chenle slurred from his perch on Kun’s shoulder.

     “Oh, Canada.” Hyuck agreed.

     “On to part two,” Ten cut across, “Mark, did you give the information?”

     “Yes, though Duckie made it awkward,” Mark confirmed.

     “Hey! I did _not_ ,” Donghyuck argued, hitting Mark with the giant Rilakkuma.

     “Yes, you _did,”_ Mark countered, voice rising to match Donghyuck’s.

     “Shush, children,” Kun said, “can’t let Jaehyunnie know, can we now?”

     “What if Taeyong doesn’t act upon the information?” Doyoung whispered, worried.

     “Oh, he will.” Jeno asserted. The other members raise their eyebrows at Jeno’s certainty.

     “How do you know?” Jungwoo asked.

     “Because Taeyong’s in love,” Jeno replied with a shrug of his shoulders. A pause.

     “Is there something you would like to tell us, Jeno?” Doyoung asked, causing the members all to erupt in giggles.

 

     Taeyong sat down at his desk. Finally, after what seemed like years, everyone was asleep. It was a little past midnight, Sicheng and Yuta had gone to sleep, and Jisung had stopped screaming over Chenle’s personal note to him. Taeyong rubbed his eyes, half-written lyrics spread out in front of him, trying to come up with a rhythm for the rap part. His mind was elsewhere, though, and he himself knew it. Frustrated, he shut his notebook and reached for his phone. Flipping open the album, Taeyong typed the ID into **[Recipient]**.

     “What the fuck am I doing?” Taeyong asked himself, suddenly unsure of his decision. What if Jaehyun rejected his ass? What if Jaehyun didn’t even read his message? What if Mark was just playing him? _Get yourself together, Taeyong._ Oh well, it was worth a shot, right? He typed a brief message and took a deep breath.

     Taeyong tentatively hits send on the message.

 

 **ttyong** : Hi!

 

     He feels stupid. There's no way Jaehyun is going to notice one message, right? Especially at this hour? Taeyong mentally scolded himself; who did he think he was? In the midst of his lamenting, his phone blings again.

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** who is this? How do you have my personal account?

 

     Oh, Taeyong was so screwed. He had no idea that this was a private account.

 

 **ttyong:** I'm sorry, I didn't know that this was your personal. Your bandmate gave me your user

 

 **jj_yoonoh** : well, nice to meet you, I'm Jaehyun, real name Jung Yoonoh.

 

 **ttyong** : I was the last fan from your recent fansign

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Oh I remember you

 **jj_yoonoh:** But I never caught your name

 

 **ttyong:** My name is **|**

 

     Taeyong sat, watching the cursor blink as he tried to think of a name.

 

 **ttyong:** My name is kinda common so my friends call me Yong

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Aw that's cute

 

 **ttyong:** hgggvhy

 **ttyong:** Sorry I choked on my sprite

 **ttyong:** could you give a little warning before you do that

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Do what

 

 **ttyong:** Give me a stroke

 **ttyong:** It took everything thing in me not to scream

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Lol

 **jj_yoonoh:** Do you know a girl fainted when she saw me

 

 **ttyong:** Same

 **ttyong:** Should you be outing your fans like this

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Probably not

 **jj_yoonoh:** But I'm horrible at keeping secrets

 **jj_yoonoh:** Like Donghyuck and Mark

 

 **ttyong:** What about them?

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** They are dating

 **jj_yoonoh:** Wait you're not going to give this to a reporter or smth are you?

 

 **ttyong:** We’ve been knew

 **ttyong:** With the way they look at each other it's kind of obvious

 **ttyong:** And I would never give anything to the reporters, the little cockroaches

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Well that's reassuring I guess

 **jj_yoonoh:** Do you know why my members gave my username to you

 

 **ttyong:** I’m sorry I don't really know

 **ttyong:** They just wrote it in my album

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Guess I'll have to yell at them later

 

 **ttyong:**   I’m so sorry, I’ll stop bothering you if you would like

 

     Taeyong bit his lip as he saw the notification that Jaehyun was typing.

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** No it's ok

 **jj_yoonoh:** It's nice to get to talk to a fan personally

 **jj_yoonoh:** Without having cameras down my neck

 

 **ttyong:** Lol

 **ttyong:** That's some grade A fan service right there

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Oh shut up

 

     Jaehyun grinned at his phone. _This fan is so cute. Funny, too. I wonder if he’s single._


	7. Your gay is showing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am living :)  
> Side Note: is it just me or does anyone else hear "open your ass" instead of "open your eyes" in 7th Sense????????  
> -Helena
> 
> IM FUCKING CACKLING HOLY SHIT OH MY G OD  
> also who's starting school in like 2 weeks bc someone fucking kill me
> 
> \- Min

     Jaehyun sat in the practice room, watching Mark and Donghyuck flirt shamelessly with each other as Ten supervised choreography for Doyoung. Jaehyun sighed. He longed to go back to his dorm and text the mysterious fan. He stifled a yawn and shifted his focus back to Jeno and Ten. He had half a mind to whip out his phone and shoot the fan a text, but stopped himself. He had to be an example for his groupmates.

     “Ok, I think you’ve got it down pretty well now,” Ten said to Doyoung. They high-fived, and Ten motioned for Jaehyun to get the rest of the members.

     “Ok, everybody up!” Jaehyun called out. Chenle whined, but still put down his bag of chips.

     “Ok, so for this award show, the producers want us to have a special stage with another group.”

     “Ohh, do we know which one?” Ten asked, hopefulness in his voice.

     “No, I hope we find out soon, though,” Jaehyun said. He knew which group _he_ hoped it was, but then again, did he really have a say in all this?

     “Ohhh, I hope it’s Dante’s Inferno,” Chenle said. Everyone’s attention snaps to the maknae.

     “What?” Doyoung asked, disbelief obvious.

     “Well, we’re a bit vocal-heavy, and they’re a bit more dance-heavy, doesn’t that make a good balance?” Chenle reasoned. Kun scoffed.

     “You mean, you just want to have Jisung notice you,” Kun muttered. Chenle gasped.

     “How dare you expose me like that?!” Chenle screeched and launched himself at Kun.

     “You didn’t even deny it!” Donghyuck laughed. Chenle rounded on him.

     “Easy for you to say! Your Markiepoo is right there!” Chenle yelled. Donghyuck backed away with his hands in the air. Mark opened his mouth to say something, but promptly shut it.

     “But that’s a whole, like, eighteen of us, how are the producers going to fit us all on the stage?” Jeno asked.

     “That’s a good question,” Doyoung agreed.

     “Then maybe it’s not Dante’s Inferno,” Kun said simply. Jaehyun felt his heart fall. Chenle pouted.

     “What other group could it be?” Jeno asked.

     “I hope it’s not a girl group,” Ten muttered.

 

     “Yukhei! Johnny! Stop flirting and hurry up!” Taeyong yelled. It was way too early in the morning to be dealing with the twin towers.

     “We’re not flirting!” Johnny yelled out, slipping a jacket on over his T-shirt. Yukhei was quick to follow.

     “Just because we share a room does not automatically signify that we are in a relationship,” Yukhei said. Taeyong rolled his eyes.

     “Besides, I like someone else,” Johnny muttered under his breath. Taeyong heard.

     “Who do you like?” Taeyong half-screeched.

     “Whom, Taeyong, watch your grammar,” Johnny corrected. Taeyong rolled his eyes.

     “Fine, be like that,” Taeyong groaned, heading out the door.

     “This is so awkward,” Ten muttered. Jaehyun frowned at the mirror. It was awkward, indeed. There were too many of them on one side, there was no center, and Kun and Jungwoo just stood randomly in the back.

     “No, this is right,” the choreographer said. Ten shrugged.

     “I’m already fifteen minutes late, so practice hard! I’ll see you guys later!” With that, the choreographer bolted. Jaehyun sighed.

     “Is this the collab choreo?” Chenle asked. Jeno nodded.

     “I think so, why else would there be so many gaps?” Mark replied.

     “So many gaps,” Chenle muttered.

     “So many people,” Jeno agreed.

     “Hey, at least we know now it’s not a girl group!” Mark supplied hopefully. Ten suddenly looked interested and sighed in relief.

     “Your gay is showing,” Jungwoo whispered to Ten.

     “As if your gay doesn’t show 24/7,” Ten muttered back.

     “From the top!” Jaehyun said.

 

     “Maknae! In the center!” Taeyong yelled, squinting at the piece of paper. Jisung lazily made his way up to the center. Taeyong glanced at the formation.

     “Why are there so many holes in this formation?” Taeyong asked absentmindedly. It was almost as if the positions were half-filled.

     “I don’t know, the choreographer just gave me that sheet of paper to give to you,” Taeil shrugged. Taeyong frowned.

     “Welp, I have no clue what’s happening. If Jisung is center, then the numbers on both sides should be equal. Instead, we have an empty space, followed by Yuta, and another empty space, me, empty space, and then Renjun. On Jisung’s right, we’ve got two empty spaces, Taeil, empty spaces, and then Sicheng. Why is there a back? Why is Johnny, Yukhei, and Jaemin in the back? What?”

     “Taeyong, can we just go with it?” Taeil groaned, “I’m aging just standing here.” Taeyong frowned at his paper one last time, before moving to stand in his spot. He glances at his watch. The choreographer was late by a whole fifteen minutes. Taeyong sighed.

 

     When the clock finally struck eight, Taeyong gathered up his members and shooed them into the van.

     “I’m so tired,” Jisung muttered, and instantly fell asleep.

     “I’ve got him,” Johnny murmured, letting Jisung’s head rest on his shoulder. Taeyong smiled gratefully at him. He pulled out his phone, just to see if he had any new messages. He did. Taeyong tried not to squeal in excitement.

 

**jj_yoonoh:** hey

**jj_yoonoh:** heyyyyyyyyyy

**jj_yoonoh:** heYYYYYYYYY 

 

**ttyong:** You know, isn't this supposed to be the other way around 

**ttyong:** Where I'm spamming you

 

**jj_yoonoh:** Well we just got back from dance practice 

**jj_yoonoh:** And everyone is super tired

**jj_yoonoh:** But I’m not

 

**ttyong:** Why am I not surprised 

 

**jj_yoonoh** : Probably bc I'm me

**jj_yoonoh:** And I have an abundance of energy 

 

**ttyong:** Well some people dON’T

**ttyong:** Like moi 

**ttyong:** Btw I've seen the videos of you passed out on the couch don't lie to me

 

**jj_yoonoh:** whaTEVER 

**jj_yoonoh:** Holy shit, will ya look at that,  Kun made some Chinese food better hop on that shit 

 

**ttyong:** Oh, worm?

 

**jj_yoonoh** : Shut Up

**jj_yoonoh:** That meme is so fucking old

 

**ttyong:** Yet it is still spicy 

 

**jj_yoonoh:** Not as spicy as this sauce holy fuck

**jj_yoonoh:** Did Kun put a whole fucking pepper plant in here I'm fucking dying

 

**ttyong:** You need some milk 

 

**jj_yoonoh:** Literally die

 

**ttyong:** You just can't handle the heat of these memes

 

**jj_yoonoh:** I’m fucking choking 

 

**ttyong:** CHOKING ON THIS DICK 

 

**jj_yoonoh:** shut up, I’m going to start fucking crying

 

**ttyong:** Be quiet, don’t crY 

  
  


     That night, after everyone had eaten and were all crowded the television, Jaehyun decided it was time to announce their stages. 

     “Ok people, listen up,” Jaehyun said, turning off the TV amist groans and complaints.

     “What now?” Doyoung asked. 

     “I am your leader and I will not accept that attitude, young man.” 

     “I’m older?” 

     “Anyway, the other group goes first, then they retreat backstage to change or something like that, then it’s us, and then immediately after our outro, it’s the collab stage.” 

     “That’s it?” Jungwoo asked. 

     “Well, we have the intro and outro to go over, and the Ten solo stage,” Jaehyun said, pulling out his phone to check, “That’s it,” 

     “‘The Ten solo stage’, love that I’m being defined as a stage now,” Ten muttered. 

     “It’s ok, you were never important, Tennie,” Donghyuck reassured him. 

     “You little —” Ten reached over Mark to slap Donghyuck. 

     “Guys! Anyone have questions?” Jaehyun asked. Jungwoo’s hand shot up. 

     “Yes, Jungwoo?” 

     “Do we know which group we’re collaborating with yet?” Jungwoo asked. Suddenly, everyone sat up straight. 

     “Uhh, lemme see if the manager sent it to me,” Jaehyun muttered. He opened up his email and—

     “Shit,” Jaehyun gasped. His members waited. 

     “It’s Dante’s Inferno.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all figured out that the collab is Black on Black, because  
> "I JUST FUCKING GOT THAT (T)HE COLLAB DANCE IS BLACK ON BLACK I BOW DOEN TO YOU" -bam_bam  
> PS: Z O O M Z O O M  
> You get a veteran's discount if you know what I'm talking about  
> -Helena
> 
> I'm getting exposed left and right
> 
> \- Min


	8. Family Reunion? Homosexual Communion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was nice knowing you all, because guess who's going to be dead tomorrow?  
> Me. Why?  
> School.  
> RIP  
> Press F to pay respects.  
> -Helena
> 
> A FUCKING BIZILLION KUDOS TO HELENA BC I DID FUCKING NOTHING IN THIS CHAPTER BC OF SCHOOL SO SHE IS AMAZING. 
> 
> \- Min

     Taeyong was beyond nervous. He was sitting in the van, off to the first joint dance practice with both groups. Taeyong was anxious with good reason. First, Jaehyun. That was enough explanation itself. Second, Taeyong had no idea how his members would behave around Elemental. He needed to make sure to reign them in, especially Yukhei. Third, he was very invested in keeping Sicheng and Yuta’s relationship a secret, and that was going to be difficult. Lastly, Taeyong reminded himself, Jisung  _ cannot _ go into full-fanboy mode when Chenle appears. 

     “Why don’t they have an elevator?” Johnny complained. They were on the third floor with two more to go. 

     “Imagine my thighs if I had to climb like this to train everyday,” Jisung muttered. 

     “Just leave me here, I can’t go on. Don’t let me go, Jack” Renjun gasped dramatically to Jaemin, who reached a hand out for Renjun.

     “Can you guys move it or do I have to shove you out of my way?” Taeil rolled his eyes. 

     “I’ll never let you go, Rose!” Jaemin responded, completely ignoring Taeil. 

     “I hope you both drown,” Yukhei wheezed. 

     “Guys, can we act like our age and not our intelligence level?” Taeyong finally asked. 

     “That was a good one,” a voice suddenly said. At the top of the staircase stood…

     “Chenle!” Jisung screeched.

     “Jisung!” Chenle screeched back. Jisung pushed past Taeil and bounced up the stairs. Chenle grabbed Jisung’s hand and ran away. The rest of Dante’s Inferno stood there awkwardly, watching the maknaes.  _ Well, that’s one problem solved, _ Taeyong thought. 

     “Someone’s got their love life figured out,” Taeil muttered as they continued to ascend the stairs. They followed the high-pitched laughing to a practice room. Seven boys sat in a circle, watching Chenle present his new best friend. Another one stood before the mirrors, running the choreography.  One of the seven suddenly turned and noticed Taeyong in the doorway. 

     “Jaehyun!” he yelled. The male in front of the mirror didn’t turn. 

     “What, Donghyuck?” Jaehyun replied, slightly out of breath. 

     “The door,” Donghyuck replied. Jaehyun turned. 

     “Oh, shit, I mean, uh, hi! Come in, y’all,” Jaehyun finally said, running a hand through his damp hair. Awkward silence, since Taeyong was thinking about how Jaehyun should  _ never _ do that, in case he gives him a heart attack. Noticing Taeyong’s gay panic, Taeil decides to take control. 

     “Hey,” Taeil said, stepping in the practice room. Taeyong startled back into reality and followed Taeil. 

     “I’m Taeyong, nice to meet you all!” Taeyong said, pointedly  _ not _ looking in Jaehyun’s direction. Jaehyun didn’t seem to notice. 

     “Well, I guess introductions are in order,” Jaehyun said, “We already know Jisung.” 

     “And we know Chenle,” Taeyong replied.

     “So I guess I’ll start, I’m Jaehyun, leader,” 

  
  


     Taeyong considered the dance rehearsal so far “pretty smooth”, except for the mirror glances at Jaehyun. Those tight jeans should be illegal. There was no way Taeyong would get through this without having cardiac arrest. When the choreographer finally let them have a break, Yukhei grabbed Taeyong’s arm and dragged him to the restroom. 

     “Are you okay? Do you need something?” Taeyong asked Yukhei worriedly. Yukhei was rarely this serious. Yukhei shook his head. 

     “How do I tell someone I like him?” Yukhei asked. Tayong was taken aback. 

     “Wha —who?” Taeyong screeched. Yukhei hurriedly put his hand over Taeyong’s mouth. 

     “Shhh, he’s um,” Yukhei started. Just then, a toilet flushes and both boys jump. Jaemin walks out, completely unbothered. Yukhei and Taeyong stare at him. 

     “Don’t mind me, carry on with your gay conversations,” Jaemin smiled, washing his hands. Yukhei and Taeyong remain frozen. 

     “Yukhei likes Jungwoo!” Jaemin screamed, right before he bolted from the bathroom. Yukhei yelled out, trying to kick Jaemin, but failed miserably as his foot connected with the closing door. Yukhei grabbed his foot and began to do his pain dance.

     “Jungwoo?” Taeyong asked. 

     “Yeah,” Yukhei said, “He’s so cute, I couldn’t stop looking at him, holy.”. 

     “Oh god, it’s way too early in the morning to deal with this gay shit,” Taeyong muttered. 

     “It’s never too early for that gay shit,” Ten said, walking into the bathroom. His sudden appearance causes Yukhei and Taeyong to jump again. 

     “That’s it, this bathroom just became a gay communion,” Taeyong announced, and darted out. He walked back to the practice room and saw Chenle and Jisung sitting together, watching something on Chenle’s phone. Taeyong looked at them longingly. How come the maknae got his love life figured out before Taeyong did? Taeyong glanced at Jaehyun and gulped. Not only was Jaehyun moderately sweaty, but he had rolled up the already short sleeves of his t-shirt and hot damn those biceps. Taeyong’s eyes followed as a bead of sweat roll down one of his arms. Suddenly, Jaehyun looked up, and Taeyong quickly averted his eyes, choosing instead to glance at his phone. He saw that he had a few message notifications. 

 

**jj_yoonoh:** wassup?

**jj_yoonoh:** how’s life

  
  


     Taeyong bit his lip. Should he reply? He didn’t want to reveal himself as the fan just yet. No, there was no way he would do that. That would make things very awkward between them. What if Jaehyun suddenly put up the walls? Taeyong decided that he would rather play the role of a fan and be able to communicate with Jaehyun freely. Taeyong sighed. Fan Taeyong can’t know about the collaboration stage. Fan Taeyong can’t know a lot of things, like how Jaehyun can dance and sing  _ and _ rap really well, from what he’s heard during rehearsal, with Jaehyun murmuring the lyrics under his breath. His voice was so smooth and it flowed nicely.  _ I’m so whipped for him, holy shit.  _

 

**ttyong:** not much, just working

  
  


     Jungwoo was upset. The cute boy from Dante’s Inferno hadn’t even  _ looked _ in his direction. Jungwoo took his sorrows to Kun, who he was very sure didn’t care. All the better. Besides, Kun wasn’t one to push him away when he wanted to hug someone. Kun just...tolerated. 

     “But he’s so cute,” Jungwoo complained, latching himself onto Kun’s arm. Kun pointedly did not look down at Jungwoo. 

     “I can assure you he was looking at you,” Kun said, voice controlled. Jungwoo huffed and blew at his bangs. 

     “But I didn’t see him!” Jungwoo insisted. Kun rolled his eyes. 

     “I can promise you that Luhan, or Lucas, or whatever his name is, looked at you, and quite frequently. I may add.” Kun repeated. Jungwoo pouted and finally let it slide. 

 

     Yukhei glanced himself over in the mirror of the bathroom. Taeyong hadn’t given him very good advice on how to approach Jungwoo. Yukhei flipped his hair, then flipped it back. Dang it, how come his hair looked weird no matter what he did? He ran a hand through it again. Annoyed, he finally let his hair be and walked out. When he walked back into the dance practice room, the first person he saw was Jungwoo. Of course. It seemed as though his eyes were automatically trained just to focus on Jungwoo. Jungwoo was wrapped around an older member of Elemental that Yukhei remembered as Kun. Yukhei couldn’t help but feel an ugly emotion brew up in his chest. Yukhei bit his lip. Is this what jealousy was? Yukhei tore his eyes away from Jungwoo cuddling Kun and focused on walking towards Taeyong, plopping himself next to his leader. Taeyong looked up, glanced at Jungwoo, and smirked. Yukhei rolled his eyes and grabbed Taeyong’s water bottle and took a swig. When Ten came back from the bathroom, the eighteen boys got up again to practice. 

 

     Jaehyun sat in the quiet van, heading back to the dorms after rehearsal. He hadn’t heard from Yong all day, save for that one quick message. Jaehyun reread all the previous messages. Had he offended Yong? Not that Jaehyun could tell. Was he annoying him? Probably. Jaehyun mentally chastised himself. How inconsiderate of him to pester someone like this? Jaehyun opted not to text first, to test out the waters and make sure Yong wasn’t mad at him. 

 

     Taeyong sat at the kitchen table with his phone on the countertop. He had been clearing the table after the members had eaten. Taeyong glanced at his phone for the  _ n _ th time in three minutes. Taeyong’s hands itched to text Jaehyun, but his mind held him back. No, Taeyong would not become a burden for Jaehyun. He would wait for Jaehyun to text first, just to make sure he wasn’t disturbing him in any way. 


	9. He's just a friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it's 9 pm and i haven't started homework  
> :)  
> just fluff, went wild with china line BC THE NEXT NCT GROUP IS CHINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
> -Helena
> 
> HELENA DID FUCKING EVERYTHING ALL CREDIT GOES TO HER. IM SO FUCKING BUSY IM CRY ING.  
> \- Min

     Jaehyun was glad to hear from his members that they thought Dante’s Inferno was “talented”, “well-mannered”, and, in Jungwoo’s case, “hot”. That was Jungwoo’s problem. Jaehyun himself had seen Taeyong in person for the second time. Despite being barefaced, the leader of Dante’s Inferno was still as attractive as ever. Jaehyun hoped that it wasn’t obvious that he was staring at him.  Jaehyun was glad that Chenle had found a friend right away. On second thought, almost everyone had found a friend in Dante’s Inferno. Today was a success. Not only had they officially met their collaborators, but also kept Mark and Donghyuck a secret, made sure Chenle didn’t go into full fanboy mode, and kept himself in check when Taeyong was around.

     “Doyoung, who are you texting?” Kun asked, stacking the dishes by the sink. Doyoung suddenly looked up.

     “No one in particular,” Doyoung replied. Chenle leaned over his shoulder.

     “Ohhh, who’s Taeil? Why does he have three hearts next to his name?” Chenle asked, none to quietly.

     “H—He’s just a friend,” Doyoung stuttered. Ten raised an eyebrow.

     “That is not the face one makes when he is texting ‘just a friend’,” Ten mocked. Doyoung turned red.

     “He’s no one, I swear!” Doyoung defended. Mark shook his head.

     “You like this guy,” Mark pointed out. Doyoung sputtered.

     “Excuse me?!” Doyoung yelled. Donghyuck nodded along with Mark, feigning seriousness.

     “Yes, that is the face one would make when he is talking with a beloved,” Donghyuck said.

     “Of course you would know,” Ten jabbed at Donghyuck, who turned and stuck his tongue out at him.

     “Who did you say this was?” Jeno asked.

     “Taeil, with three hearts next to his name!” Chenle singsonged. Jaehyun finally realized who it was.

     “Taeil, as in the main vocalist of Dante’s Inferno. That Taeil?” Jaehyun asked. Sudden silence descended in the kitchen.

     “Shoot, our Doyoung’s got the hots for Dante’s Inferno’s oldest,” Chenle whispered. Doyoung finally found his voice.

     “As if you don’t for their youngest,” Doyoung snapped. Chenle’s jaw hit the floor.

     “Hey! You didn’t need to call me out like that!”

 

     “Johnny, who are you texting,” Yuta asked. Johnny suddenly looked up.

     “Um,” Johnny said, turning his hand to hide his phone screen. Yukhei reached over the table to snatch his phone.

     “Hey!” Johnny yelled out indignantly and made a half-hearted swipe for it, which failed.

     “Who’s ‘Tennie’?” Yukhei asked.

     “Main dancer of Elemental,” Taeyong replied automatically. Jisung looked up.

     “The guy with the dance solo?” Jisung asked. Taeyong nodded. Suddenly, something clicked together for Taeyong.

     “Johnny, when we left this morning, you mentioned a crush?” Taeyong asked. Johnny’s eyes widened comically.

     “Wow, is anyone straight here?” Sicheng asked to the group.

     “I think that’s an overgeneralization,” Jaemin said.

     “Aren’t you and Renjun dating?” Johnny asked.

     “Yeah. But that kid was so cute,” Renjun said dreamily.

     “His eye-smile was so adorable,” Jaemin agreed, both completely ignoring their members.

     “Oh my god,” Taeil murmured.

     “I wonder if he’s into this kinda stuff,” Jaemin wondered aloud.

     “A poly relationship?” Sicheng asked aloud.

     “What even is happening?” Taeyong whispered under his breath.

 

     Another two days passed and they met again for another practice. The atmosphere seemed different than the first time. The only one that seemed unbothered was Kun. He watched with a raised eyebrow as Lucas “discretely” stared at Jungwoo. He tried to catch Jaehyun’s eye and tell him ‘ _You seeing this bullshit?’_ but even his own leader was staring at someone else.

     “Guys, we should probably practice,” Kun said to the air of the room. Taeyong coughed and stood up. Sicheng and Yuta followed suit. Kun reached over Jeno and smacked Donghyuck in the head.

     “Stop flirting,” Kun said. Mark’s eyes widened. Kun froze. _Shit, whoops._

     “Oh my god! They’re dating?” Jisung said. Kun looked at Jaehyun with a _please help me_ expression.

     “Uh—” Jaehyun began, but was cut off by Jisung.

     “That’s so cute!” Jisung screamed. Elemental’s members relaxed visibly. Taeyong was walking over to smack Jisung before he said anything else.

     “Sicheng and Yuta are dating, too!” Too late.

     “Really?” Ten asked. Jisung nodded.

     “I didn’t ask for this!” Sicheng yelled at Jisung. Yuta got up and started to chase Jisung, who ran straight into Chenle.

     “Chenle! Save me!” Jisung hugged the smaller boy. Chenle laughed and wrapped his arms tightly around Jisung.

     “Guys, practice?” Kun asked, trying to set the group back on track. Jaehyun snapped out of his stupor.

     “Right, uh,” Jaehyun plugged his phone into the speakers. Kun sighed. Can’t the guys keep their gayness hidden for an hour?

 

     Apparently not, Kun found. Lucas was non-stop staring at Jungwoo, and Johnny had this wild grin on his face whenever Ten did his solo.

     “Johnny seems to be watching you a lot,” Kun approached Ten. Ten looked up from his phone.

     “Is he?” Ten asked, faking obliviousness. Kun’s eyebrow inched its way up his forehead.

     “Ten, you’re not a great liar,” Kun said, “I just said something simple and now you’re grinning like a maniac that’s about to kill me.”

     “I will do just that if you spill the tea,” Ten threatened. Kun’s eyebrow was now so close to his hairline Ten was afraid it might just blend in.

     “You basically just confirmed my suspicions,” Kun stated. Ten shrugged.

     “It’s not a secret.”

 

     Jisung was spending way too much time on his phone, Taeyong determined. Dinnertime, and everyone was chatting, but Jisung was looking down at his phone, smiling and typing back animatedly.

     “Jisung, what are you looking at?” Taeyong asked. Everyone’s attention goes to the maknae.

     “Chenle,” Jisung answered, still not looking up.

     “Ohh, does Jisung have a crush?” Yukhei laughed.

     “Says the one who won’t stop looking at Jungwoo,” Jaemin scoffed.

     “Hey!” Yukhei protested.

     “Meanwhile, Renjun and Jaemin are sending poor little Lee Jeno into a gay panic,” Taeil commented. Both Renjun and Jaemin rounded on Taeil.

     “Like I didn’t catch you and Doyoung kissing in the bathroom!” Renjun screeched. Taeil turned beet red.

     “So? You and Renjun have kissed plenty in front of all of us,” Johnny responded.

     “Was it Johnny who was texting his ‘Tennie’ last night?” Taeyong asked, with an air of fake curiosity. Johnny’s face became a tomato.

     “Wow, who’s not crushing on someone from Elemental at this point?” Sicheng asked.

     “You,” Yuta commented. Sicheng looked at him with an expression of utter disappointment.

     “Unfortunately,”

 

     Chenle was lying down on his bed and flipping through the contacts on his phone, his favorite plushies pulled closer to him. He had found some Chinese mutuals in Dante’s Inferno.

 

[ **smol_dolphin** _has created_ **China Line** ]

[ **smol_dolphin** _has added_ **Sichenggg** , **yuk-HEY!** , **Injunnie** , _and_ **KuntheHun** ]

 

 **smol_dolphin:** what is up losers

 

 **KuntheHun:** Chenle, it’s past your bedtime, go to sleep.

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** what is this

 

 **Sichenggg:** china line

 **Sichenggg:** are you blind

 

 **Injunnie:** is this really necessary

 **Injunnie:** we literally could just make a big group chat of the 18 of us

 

 **KuntheHun:** let me write you a paper on why that is a bad idea

 

 **smol_dolphin:** Kun when’s the last time you’ve studied

 

 **KuntheHun:** listen here you brat

 

 **Sichenggg:** as much as i love this, i have things to do

 

 **Injunnie:** like sucking yuta’s face off

 

 **Sichenggg:** EXCUSE ME

 

 **smol_dolphin:** ouch

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** ok i think i have everyone’s numbers.

 **yuk-HEY!:** wait i lied, i need Jungwoo’s

 

 **KuntheHun:** i can’t believe you still haven’t asked him

 **KuntheHun:** you were looking at him quite a lot

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** shit

 **yuk-HEY!:** was i obvious

 

 **KuntheHun:** to everyone but him

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** phew

 

 **smol_dolphin:** Kun stop being a mom

 

[ **smol_dolphin** _has changed_ **KuntheHun** _’s name to_ **Kunniang** ]

 **Kunniang:** ‘Niang’ is used to call old mothers

 **Kunniang:** i’m not old

 

 **Injunnie:** i beg to differ

 

 **Kunniang:**.

 

 **smol_dolphin:** i mean, he’s not wrong

 

 **Kunniang:** 去死

 

 **Sichenggg:** wow passive aggressive

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** death threats

 

 **smol_dolphin:** Niang do you have no guilt telling the youngest to go die

 

 **Kunniang:** stOP CALLING ME NIANG

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** niang

 

 **Sichenggg:** niang

 

 **Injunnie:**  niang

 

 **Kunniang:** you guys are lucky you don’t live in the same dorm as me

 

 **smol_dolphin:** help i hear footsteps

 **smol_dolphin:** HELP HE’S HERE

 

 **Sichenggg:** chenle?

 **Sichenggg:** do i need to call the police

 

 **yuk-HEY!:**  or an ambulance

 

 **Sichenggg:** or call renjun 

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** he’s busy sucking face with jaemin

 

 **Sichenggg:** still? haven't they been at it since dinner

 

 **yuk-HEY!:**  but you know jaemin

 

 **Sichenggg:** shit you right

 

 **Kunniang:** oof, RIP jeno

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** jeno, the guy with the eyesmile?

 

 **Sichenggg:** what have you done with our chenle

 

 **Kunniang:** first of all, he’s my chenle

 **Kunniang:** yes, jeno has eyesmiles

 

 **Sichenggg:** well, uh

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** RENJUN AND JAEMIN BOTH HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM

 

**Injunnie: .**

 

 **smol_dolphin:** i can’t breathe

 

 **Sichenggg:** what did kun do to you

 

 **smol_dolphin:** choked me

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** with what

 

 **Sichenggg:** THE BIBLE BLESS THE LORD AMEN

 

 **Injunnie:** yukhei, chenle’s literally 12

 

 **smol_dolphin:** i’m only a year younger than you

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** aww, so smol

 

 **Kunniang:** as much as i am annoyed with chenle right now, he’s literally three, so

 

 **smol_dolphin:** niang your supposed to stick up for me

 

 **Kunniang:** 你不是我的儿子

 

 **Injunnie:** wow disowning your son

 

 **Smol_dolphin:** niang who’s my dad?

 

 **Kunniang:** good night everyone

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First line of Chinese: 去死 = "go die"  
> Second line: 你不是我的儿子 = "you are not my son"  
> thanks Aria, a chinese legend  
> -Helena
> 
> ALSO GUESS WHO JUST GOT FIRST IN HER SWIM MEET THAT HAPPENED LITERALLY 30 MINS AGO AHHHHHAA  
> \- Min


	10. NCT in the house!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet!  
> school makes me stressed, depressed, and not well-dressed.  
> MY EXO-L ASS MAKES AN APPEARANCE IN THIS CHAPTER YEET  
> edit: omg i just read it and i wanna cry bc its so cringe skjdfklajsdjf  
> -Helena
> 
>  
> 
> HELENA IS A GOD JUST REMEMBER THAT  
> I'm currently dying with homework and swimming so rip your girl is freaking the fuck out
> 
> \- Min

* * *

     Dress rehearsal. Taeyong sighed. Just how many times could they make all eighteen of them redo the entire fucking song? He gets that there are a lot of them, and camera work is difficult, but they’ve done it at least eighteen times.

     “Hey, Taeyong?” Jaehyun tapped Taeyong’s shoulder, making him jump, "Would you and your members be interested in grabbing dinner after the performance?”

     “Yeah, sure,” Taeyong agreed. Jaehyun stares into his eyes a little too long, and Taeyong's heart flutters. Suddenly, Jaehyun breaks eye contact, coughing nervously, a flush creeping up his neck.

     “Ok, great!” Jaehyun said, not meeting Taeyong’s eyes. He bows quickly before scurrying off.

     “Oh, what the fuck did I just do?” Taeyong asked himself.

 

     “Oh, what the fuck did I just do?” Jaehyun asked himself as he collapsed against the waiting room couch.

     “What _did_ you do?” Donghyuck asked.

     “Taeyong, he’s just—” Jaehyun struggled to find the right words.

     “So perfect?” Mark finished for him.

     “Yeah,” Jaehyun replied, before realizing what he had said.

     “Wait! No!” Jaehyun tried to redeem himself, but Mark and Donghyuck were too busy giggling. Jaehyun had half a mind to flip them off, but Chenle was present.

 

     "Hey guys," Kun said to the other seventeen boys as they sat together in Elemental's practice room, "I hate to break it to you guys, but the collab name they gave us is so cringy." Several others nodded in agreement. 

     "Honestly, do they even speak English?" Johnny asked. 

     "I think they went for the 'cute' idea?" Jeno supplied. Jaemin shook his head. 

     "For fuck's sake, our song is more of a dark concept," Renjun added. Taeyong squawked indignantly. 

     "No matter, Chenle's said worse," Jungwoo reassured Taeyong. 

     "No, but in all honesty, what kind of name is 'Boys Paradise'?" Jaehyun asked. 

     "That could be taken a  _lot_ of ways," Mark helpfully supplied. Donghyuck smacked his arm.

     "All in favor of voting for a new name?" Ten asked. 

     "Are we allowed to?" Doyoung asked. Ten shrugged. 

     "I couldn't care less what the company wants," Ten replied. 

     "Agreed!" Jisung chanted. 

     "Alright fine, any ideas?" Taeyong decided to establish order. 

     "Something not 'Boys Paradise'", Kun recommended. 

     "No duh, old man," Renjun rolled his eyes. Kun reached over to smack Renjun. 

     "What was that phrase from your video game, Johnny?" Taeil asked. Johnny looked stunned for a moment. 

     "Huh?" Johnny asked. 

     "You know, the username of that one guy that butchers you every time," Taeil replied. 

     "Oh, uh, his name's 'Neopolitan',"

     "Then 'Neo'," Taeil said. 

     "'Neo' sounds cool," Sicheng said. 

     "Well, I was just thinking..." Yukhei began. 

     "You? Yukhei  _thinking?_ Someone call the police because the  _real_ Yukhei has been kidnapped and replaced!" Yuta shouted. 

     "Hey!" Yukhei yelled. 

     "Calm down, children," Taeyong said. Yukhei huffed and sat back down. 

     "As I was saying, we're the newest generation of idols, right? We're the most technologically advanced generation of idols. 'Technology' should be part of our name," Yukhei finished with a flourish. 

     "So what shall it be? 'Neo Tech'?" Mark asked. 

     "That sounds more like a computer program than a group's name," Donghyuck interjected. 

     "Excuse the rant," Chenle began, "there's a whole eighteen of us. What makes us different?" 

     "The fact that there's eighteen of us," Jisung replied. 

     "Bingo, I knew you were a smart one," Chenle said, clapping his hands. A round of 'aww' goes around the group. 

     "But that was not my main point," Chenle said, putting up his hands, "We have so many, we're practically a people, we're a tribe, we're a  _culture,"_

 

     “Guys, we have to do better than this!” Taeyong sighed. He and his members stood in their practice room, running over choreography that was _supposed_ to be well-polished right now, but Taeil kept stepping on Johnny’s foot, Renjun and Jaemin looked lost, and Jisung was nodding off.

     “But Taeyong,” Jisung whined, “I’m so tired.”

     “Taeyong, we’ve been doing this since nine o’clock,” Yuta points out.

     “And right now it’s six,” Sicheng finished. Taeyong gave them the side eye.

     “Ok fine, we can do the collab dance,” Taeyong said. Renjun noticeably perks up at that.

     “I saw that, Renjun,” Taeyong called, making his way over to his phone to change the song.

     “Sorry, you guys aren’t worth my effort to impress,” Renjun said casually. A round of offended gasps sounds.

 

     Another quiet night. Jaehyun puts Chenle and Donghyuck to bed early, everyone anxious for the performance tomorrow. Word has leaked out that there will be a “legendary collaboration stage”, but no one seems to know with whom. Jaehyun settled under his covers and took his phone. He took a deep breath in. Why wasn’t Yong texting him back at all? Jaehyun decides to throw away his dignity and text twice.

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Yong?

 

     Jaehyun held his breath. He almost screamed when the three dots appeared at the bottom. Finally! Finally, The Yong drought was about to end!

 

 **ttyong:** Heyyyyy

 

 **ttyong:** Sorry I haven't been texting you I've been superrrr busy

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** It's alright

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** I've been extremely busy too

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Are you watching the stage tomorrow?

 

 **ttyong:** Lol do you actually think I would fucking miss that

 

 **ttyong:** It's like a gift from heaven

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Well thanks I guess

 

 **ttyong:** Your extremely welcome

 

 **ttyong:** Well i know you are gonna be fucking amazing

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** I’m not that good

 

 **ttyong:** Shut The Fuck Up

 

 **ttyong:** You are a god nothing can change my mind

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** btw did you see our new photo shoot

 

 **ttyong:** Are you kidding it's my new lock screen

 

 **ttyong:** That shit is magical

 

 **ttyong:** Magical I tell you

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Lol

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Did you hear that we are having a collaboration?

 

 **ttyong** : No?

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Well you will just have to see

 

     The very next morning was hectic, like all performance mornings are. Taeyong was the first up, moving around, making breakfast, packing bags. His phone sat on the kitchen table, quiet and still.

     “Taeyong, why are you up so early, holy,” Yukhei muttered, shuffling into the kitchen. He plopped himself down in his usual seat and nodded thanks when Taeyong slid him toast.

     “Because I’m the leader, and I’ve got responsibilities,” Taeyong answered. The coffee machine blinged.

     “Should I go drag Johnny out of bed?” Yukhei asked.

     “And Taeil and Sicheng,” Taeyong affirmed. Yukhei gathered his six-foot self up and slinked away.

     “It is way too early for this,” Jisung murmured, making his way around Taeyong.

     “Good morning to you too, you ungrateful little child,” Taeyong said. Jisung stuck his tongue out at him.

     “Renjun and Jaemin, I swear, they need to shut up,” Jisung said as he stuffed his mouth with eggs.

     “What were they doing?” Taeyong asked, handing Jisung a cup.

     “Taeyong, I’m sixteen. I don’t need to drink milk,”

     “You’re still a small child, drink it,”

     “But I’m taller than you now?”

     “You’re still twelve to me,” Taeyong said, gently patting Jisung’s hair. Jisung rolled his eyes, but didn’t brush his hand off.

     “Anyway, Renjun and Jaemin were giggling all night,” Jisung whined. Taeyong raised an eyebrow.

     “Making out?” Taeyong asked. Jisung shook his head.

     “Then you don’t get to complain,” Taeyong huffed, “Taeil and I had to endure Sicheng and Yuta the whole night,”

     “But my young eyeballs!” Jisung whimpered. Taeyong sighed.

     “You just said you were taller than me,” Taeyong singsonged, before walking over to the coffee pot, leaving a shocked Jisung staring at his eggs.

 

     Never again, Tayong decided. Never again was he going to forfeit his passenger seat privilege to Yukhei. The entire ride to the venue had Taeyong’s brain cells combusting. He made three big mistakes. 1) Deciding to charge his phone at the venue instead of at home. 2) Getting in the car last (who else was going to turn off the lights?) 3) Sitting between Renjun and Jaemin. 

 

     “Jisung?” Chenle’s voice drifted from the door of the waiting room. Dante’s Inferno all looked up at the boy, but Chenle only had eyes for Jisung.

     “Chenle? Do you need something?” Jisung asked, standing up.

     “Can you, um, come with me?” Chenle asked shyly. Jisung glanced at Taeyong, who nodded. Jisung grabbed his phone and was out the door.

     “Look at the maknaes,” Johnny lamented, “and then look at the rest of us!”

     “At least I’m not pining,” Taeil laughed, sending a knowing glance toward Yukhei, who stood up threateningly with all six-feet of himself.

     “Guys, are you done with your styling?” Taeyong asked, trying to break up a fight before it started. Yukhei nodded, flopping down onto the couch and pulling out his phone.

     Ten minutes pass. Jisung saunters back into the waiting room with a dreamy look on his face.

     “So what happened to you?” Johnny asked. Jisung took a moment to register his words.

     “Oh, nothing,” Jisung smiled. Taeyong opened his mouth to ask more questions, but was interrupted by the manager.

     “You guys are up next!”

 

     Jaehyun couldn’t tear his eyes away from the boy in the middle. _Since when was Taeyong so cute?_ He watched the other group perform from backstage, mind struggling to focus on his own lyrics.

     “Hey,” Chenle elbowed him. Jaehyun jumped.

     “You need something?” Jaehyun asked. Chenle crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow.

     “You need Taeyong, more like,” Chenle muttered. The audience’s applause drowned out Jaehyun’s reply.

     “Let’s get it!” Mark shouted.

 

     The sun had long set over the horizon, setting a chill through the open venue. Clouds were rolling in, and many fans had already brought out their raincoats. Lights lit up the stage, and music boomed over the speakers. Taeyong glanced at his phone. Thunderstorms. Taeyong hoped that, since the collaboration stage was the last stage of the night, it could finish before the rain sets in.

 

     Too soon. Taeyong felt the familiar performance jitters creeping up his spine. He had changed into the collaboration outfit, gotten his makeup redone, and sat backstage, watching the second part of Elemental’s performance. His heart jumped wildly at Jaehyun’s performance. _Seriously, those black pants? Yes officer, those pants right there and that hot hunk of Jaehyun._ Taeyong was whipped. No thunder had sounded yet, and Taeyong hoped it stayed that way. Elemental’s song ended, and the MCs announced the last stage of the night.

     “Tonight has been an eventful night of performances,” Baekhyun smiled. His fellow MC, Chanyeol, nodded.

     “But we have a surprise for fans,” Chanyeol announced.

     “The two hottest groups of this generation will come together tonight in a special performance,”

     “They will be performing ‘Black on Black’”

     “Please welcome Elemental and Dante’s Inferno!” Applause and shouts followed this declaration. Taeyong looked at the other seventeen boys.

     “We can do this,” he said to the group. Jaehyun nodded and put his hand in the middle. His was quickly joined by seventeen others.

     “Fighting!”

 

     Jaehyun had never heard the audience this loud. Even as they walked on stage, the chants were deafening. When the lights switched, the audience suddenly fell silent. Jaehyun crouched down, waiting for the song to begin.

     The first crack of thunder sounded just as their bass dropped. They moved, in perfect sync.

     “ _Can’t you see now?”_ Taeyong’s first line carried across the venue, loud and clear, “ _NCT in the house!”_

     Holy shit. Jaehyun was _whipped._

 


	11. I told you this was a bad idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Legit just a filler chapter bc i have school and i wanna kms  
> <3  
> -Helena
> 
> PRASIE BE TO HELENA  
> Also I got nail extensions so every time I type something it clicks and it’s giving me life.  
> \- Min

     It had taken many hours of coaxing from Kun for Chenle to do this. He knew that Kun was right: he couldn’t wait for Jisung to confess first.

     “Jisung’s introverted. He would never confess,” Kun had said.

     “But I’m scared” Chenle had replied.

     “You have two options. You can sit there and pine after him, or you can pick yourself up and go get him,” Kun asserted. Chenle whined. He hated it when Kun was right.

     Chenle had caved. He was sure Jisung liked him back. But he was nervous nonetheless. Walking down the hallway, trying to adjust his breathing. He rehearsed what he was going to say over and over again. He could almost picture it happening. Unless Jisung rejected him, of course. Chenle bit his lip. He hadn’t thought that far. Chenle steeled his nerves and knocked on the door.

   

    "Jisung?” Chenle’s voice drifted from the door of the waiting room. Dante’s Inferno all looked up at the boy, but Chenle only had eyes for Jisung.

    “Chenle? Do you need something?” Jisung asked, standing up. His heart began to race at a thousand miles per hour.

    “Can you, um, come with me?” Chenle asked shyly. Jisung glanced at Taeyong, who nodded. Jisung grabbed his phone and was out the door, almost tripping on the doorframe. Chenle let go of the door, grabbed his hand, and ran down the hallway.

    “I don’t think we should be running!” Jisung pants after the small Chinese boy. Chenle doesn’t reply. Chenle takes a sharp turn that has Jisung scrambling after him. He leads him up a flight of stairs. And another. After running up the third flight of stairs, Jisung felt his chest seize.

    “Chenle wait!” Jisung gasped. Chenle turned around and stuck out his hand. Jisung took it with no hesitation, feeling his heart flutter at the contact.

    “I want to show you this,” Chenle whispered. He pushed open the door and held it for Jisung.

    “The roof?” Jisung asked. Chenle laughed and rolled his eyes.

    “No dummy, I want to ask you something,” Chenle suddenly lets go of Jisung’s hand and looks down at his sneakers and his untied laces. Jisung feels warmth crawling up his spine. Jisung waited for Chenle to continue, but he had a feeling he knew what Chenle was going to say.

    “I was wondering—” Chenle said. His voice drifted to a murmur. Jisung leaned in closer. A blush had crept up Chenle’s cheeks. Jisung took Chenle’s hand and led him to the railing.

    “The sunset is so beautiful,” Jisung said. Chenle looked surprised at the sudden change of topic, but nodded along. Jisung sat down on one of the pipes, pulling Chenle with him. Jisung put his arm around Chenle, who rested his head on Jisung’s shoulder. Their height difference was so perfect, it was almost as if they were born to be each other’s. Jisung smiled to himself as he breathed in the comforting scent of Chenle: sweet jasmine tea with the light scent of hair-gel. He took Chenle’s hand in his free hand.

    “Maybe when I’m older, I want to watch the sunset everyday with someone I care about,” Jisung said. Chenle seemed very interested in the horizon, his eyes focused on the point, but Jisung knew he was listening to every word he said. He rubbed small circles on the smooth skin of back of Chenle’s hand.

    “I want to do so many things with someone I care about,” Jisung continued, “I want to learn to cook with him, I want to share every holiday and birthday with him. I want to hear our joints popping and watch our hair gray.” Jisung pauses, words getting stuck in his throat.

    “Stop saying that!” Chenle chastises gently, pushing himself up. “We’re not even of age yet!”

    “But is it too much to hope for?” Jisung asked, draping his arm over Chenle again. Their eyes meet.

    “I—” Chenle began. Jisung smiled.

    “Yes,” Jisung said. Chenle looked surprised for the second time in three minutes.

    “You don’t even know what I was going to ask!” Chenle screeched. Ah, there was the Chenle that Jisung knew.

    “I do, and I will,” Jisung said, voice firm. He took Chenle’s hand and pulled him in for a hug.

    “I want to be your boyfriend,”

  
  
  


[ **yuk-HEY!** _has created_ **Neo Culture Tech** ]

[ **yuk-Hey!** _has added_ **Sichenggg** , **smol_dolphin** , **Injunnie** , _and_ **Kunniang** ]

[ **yuk-Hey!** _has added_ **Junguwu** , **Chicago_boi** , **Nana_nana_batman** , **Old_man** , **Jisung_pwark** , **Japanese_Prince** , **Leadermom** , _and_ **jj_yoonoh** ]

  


**yuk-HEY!:** can someone add the other 800 ppl ty

 **yuk-HEY!:** my fngrs are tired

 

[ **Kunniang** _has added_ **i_smile** , **Nine** , **buni_bun** , **marker** , _and_ **duckhyuckquack** ]

 

 **Kunniang:** i told you this was a bad idea

 

 **Leadermom:** GOOD JOB PERFORMING TODAY!!

 

 **jj_yoonoh:**  It was wonderful!

 

 **Sichenggg:** ok but i have to know

 **Sichenggg:** what happend with the dolphin and pwark today

 

 **smol_dolphin:** jisung you tell them

 

 **Leadermom:** what

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** why is my name so dry

 

 **Nine:** just like your jokes

 

[ **jj_yoonoh** _has changed their name to_ **jae_hyun** ]

 

 **Injunnie:** shit

 

 **Nine:** it just got dryer

 

 **Junguwu:** drier*

 

 **Nine:** lemme live

 

 **Old_man:** die in a hole bitch

 

 **Leadermom:** there are CHILDREN

 

 **duckhyuckquack:** like we don’t swear like sailors

 

 **buni_bun:** wait, but what actually happened

 

 **Sichenggg:** ^^^^

 

 **Leadermom:** Jisung, care to share?

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** um

 **Jisung_pwark:** so chenle and I are a thing now?

 

 **Leadermom:** WHAT

 

 **jae_hyun:** WHAT

 

 **buni_bun:** WHAT

 

 **Kunniang:** Care to tell?

 

 **yuk_HEY!:** ok but i saw this coming

 

 **i_smile:** same

 

 **Injunnie:** OMG HE SPEAKS

 

 **i_smile:**? me?

 

 **Nana_nana_batman:** what a cutie

 

 **Leadermom:** jae take ur gayness elsewhere plz

 **Leadermom:** we all know ur a confident gay but spare us

 

 **Injunnie:** says the one with a fatass crush rn

 

 **Nine:** gimme gossip

 

 **Kunniang:**  spill the tea

 

 **Leadermom:** Renjun I am warning you now

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** trust me when i say

 **yuk-HEY!:** we can see u watching fancams, johhny boi

 **yuk-HEY!:** yeah, switch that tab, i see you

 

 **Chicago_boi:** WHAT THE FUCK?

 

 **Leadermom:** LANGUAGE YOU SONS OF BITCHES

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** wonder who i got it from, mom

 

 **buni_bun:** ok but what was he watching

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** Fair question, Mr. Doyoung.

 

 **Sichenggg:** please don’t talk like that

 **Sichenggg:** it scares me

 **Sichenggg:** because it almost makes you sound

 **Sichenggg:** educated

 

 **Injunnie:** SHIT

 

 **buni_bun:** and?

 

 **Chicago_boi:** yukhei I will flay you alive

 **Chicago_boi:** i know which side of the bed you sleep on

 **Chicago_boi:** which stuffed animal you cuddle

 

 **jae_hyun:** aren’t you guys roomates

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** yes

 

 **Chicago_boi:** youre point??????

 

 **Junguwu:** your*

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** hot and smart

 **yuk-HEY!:** what a man

 

 **Chicago_boi:** this is a threat

 

 **Nine:** *eats popcorn*

 

 **Japanese_Prince:** can i hav sum

 

 **Sichenggg:** he’s back to normal

 

 **Chicago_boi:** yuta shut up this is a serious conversation

 

 **Nine: *** passes popcorn*

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** 有没有觉得

 **yuk-HEY!:** 他光会说

 

 **Chicago_boi:** excuse me

 **Chicago_boi:**  idon't speak chingese

 

 **Injunnie:** rememebr that time he said he’d take out the trash

 **Injunnie:** but then we had ants

 **Injunnie:** bc he said he’d do it but he didnt

 

 **Leadermom:** maybe if you'd actually studied chinese while we were trainees

 **Leadermom:** instead of running off everytime 

 

 **Sichenggg:** 智商低

 

 **smol_dolphin:** wow, insulting the intelligence

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** guys, johnny is standing over me in a threatening way

 **yuk-HEY!:** guys

 

 **jae_hyun:** just stand up urself

 **jae_hyun:** you’re preety much the same height

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** tall people relate

 

 **Injunnie:** i will kill you

 

 **Nine:** fuck you

 

 **Old_man:** yeah, fuck you

 

 **smol_dolphin:** :(

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** i’m sorry ily chenle<3

 

 **smol_dolphin:** forgiven <3

 

 **Leadermom:** so cute

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yuk-HEY!: 有没有觉得 - have you ever felt
> 
> yuk-HEY!: 他光会说 - that he only talks (but never acts)
> 
> Sichenggg: 智商低 - low intelligence
> 
>  
> 
> EXPOSSSSION TIME 
> 
> Helena: What scent goes with Chenle  
> Helena: Lol sorry such a random question, but what scent would Chenle use as shampoo  
> Helena: besides the smell of crisp dollar bills  
> Helena: I keep thinking Taeyong would use something lavender  
> Helena: maybe Ten would use honeysuckle or something idk  
> Helena: but what would Chenle use  
> Helena: Jasmine  
> Helena: Chenle uses Jasmine


	12. "Put your phone down, Jisung"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all  
> I'm actually so fcking proud of myself  
> I managed honor roll this half-semester.  
> YEET  
> also has anyone listend to EXO's DMUMT bc SIGN IS A BOP  
> -Helena
> 
> I’m not going to sugar coat it  
> HELENA WROTE THIS WHOLE THING  
> PRAISE HER  
> PRAISEEEEEE  
> \- Min

     Contrary to his member’s beliefs, Johnny was not an idiot and did not “misplace” his sweatshirt. No, he didn’t. It just so happened that he was wearing it when he bumped into _someone_ in the hallway. _Someone_ claimed to be cold, so Johnny, ever the gentleman, gave up his precious University of Chicago sweatshirt to him. It made Ten look so small and cute, but Johnny was too shy to comment on it. He was also too shy to ask for it back. Besides, Johnny decided, Ten looked good in his clothes. Ten should be wearing Johnny’s clothes more often, because _damn._

 

     Taeyong decided that Jisung was way too happy right now. Jisung was supposed to be studying for his mid-year exams, but there he was, sitting on his bed in jeans at three in the morning, texting someone. Probably Chenle. Taeyong huffed.

     “Jisung, please put your phone down and go to sleep,” Taeyong sighed exasperatedly.

     “Yeah, hold up,” Jisung replied, not even looking up from his phone. Taeyong pushed open the door and stepped into the room. He glanced at the wooden desk with numerous textbooks and notebooks, with the occasional coffee mug scattered among them.

     “Jisung,” Taeyong warned. Jisung clicked his phone off.

     “You’re such a mom,” Jisung whined. Jisung’s phone lit up again and Jisung automatically reached for it.

     “This is the last straw, Jisung Park,” Taeyong reached over and snatched the phone from the pillow.

     “Taeyong!” Jisung made an attempt for his phone, but Taeyong held tight.

     “Go sleep, you need it to be tall,” Taeyong said as he turned to leave the messy room.

     “I’m taller than you,” Jisung murmured at Taeyong’s back. Taeyong ignored him and closed the door.

 

     “No means no, Chenle,” Jaehyun sighed. Chenle put on his best puppy face.

     “Just one last text?” Chenle begged. He _had_ to ask Jisung what his opinion was on pineapples. _Had_ to.

     “No, Chenle,” Jaehyun said, tucking the phone into his pocket. Chenle made a face at Jaehyun’s back and plopped himself down at his desk.

     Jaehyun had half a mind to ask Taeyong to take Jisung’s phone as well, but decided against it. Asking Taeyong would be like insulting him, right? Besides, what if he’s already asleep? Jaehyun picked up his own phone and glanced at the notifications. Two notifications. From a private chat. With Taeyong. Jaehyun’s heart fluttered.

 

 **Leadermom:** have you seen Johnny’s sweatshirt?

 **Leadermom:** he claims to have left it with Ten

 

 **jae_hyun:** was it the university of chicago one?

 **jae_hyun:** I don’t think Ten has taken that off

 

 **Leadermom:** oh my

 

 **jae_hyun:** yeah, Ten magically had it after the performance so

 

 **Leadermom:** I see

 

 **jae_hyun:** they’re so whipped

 

 **Leadermom:** yeah

 **Leadermom:** but not as bad as Yukhei tho

 

 **jae_hyun:** Lucas?

 

 **Leadermom:** yeah he and

 **Leadermom:** I shouldnt expose him

 

 **jae_hyun:** does he like jungwoo

 **jae_hyun:** bc i can tell you its mutual

 

 **Leadermom:** great! So ill tell him

 

 **jae_hyun:** no dont lmao

 **jae_hyun:** piining is fun to watch

 

 _Ironic,_ Taeyong thought. Pining is fun to watch, but not when you are pining after someone yourself. Taeyong’s brain kicked into overdrive, trying to probe at Jaehyun, but also playing it safe.

 

 **Leadermom:** i wouldnt know

 **Leadermom:** i havent pined after ppl

 

 **jae_hyun:** its both the best anad the worst feelign in the world

 

     Taeyong did a double-take. Jaehyun was pining? Had pined?

 

 **Leadermom:** elaborate

 

 **jae_hyun:** whenever you see him

 **jae_hyun:** or her

 

     Taeyong raised his eyebrow at that hesitation.

 

 **jae_hyun:** you kinda want them to act cute and fluffy

 **jae_hyun:** but at the same time

 **jae_hyun:** you cant help but think they should flex their abs and

 **jae_hyun:** sometimes it’s like

 **jae_hyun:** “choke me with your thicc thighs plz”

 

 **Leadermom:** wow ok

 

 **jae_hyun:** hey you asked

 

 **Leadermom:** that was a bit much

 

 **jae_hyun:** but that’s the reality

 

 **Leadermom:** but how do i know if i’m pining

 

 **jae_hyun:** you will

 

     Jaehyun stopped. Had he said too much? He had wanted to test the waters, to see how far Taeyong’s boundaries were. But had he pushed to far? Jaehyun wished he could see Taeyong’s beautiful face, to see how he reacted, but alas.

 

     Taeyong hated traffic. He sat in the passenger seat, next to Johnny, who was driving to Jisung’s school to pick him up. The car was heated, but Johnny had turned it off, since gasoline is always a precious resource.

     “Johnny, you need better music,” Taeyong huffed, reaching out to change the playlist.

     “Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his mouth,” Johnny said complacently. Taeyong sighed.

     “Can you please change it before my ears bleed?” Taeyong asked. What was American music these days?

     “Fine,” Johnny said. He reached over and tapped the display a couple times. A bass-heavy song began to shake the car.

     “Isn’t this Elemental’s?!” Taeyong asked. Johnny smiled.

     “Why not?”

     “Because--”

     “We’re here!” Johnny said, diverting the attention as he pulled off the highway at full speed, leaving Taeyong scrambling to grab the handles.

     “I’m trying to live to thirty, Johnny” Taeyong scolded as they made their way out of the car and into the building.

     “Make it with Jaehyun, you mean,” Johnny corrected. Taeyong stood there, shocked. Johnny paid no mind, whistling and signing himself in as Jisung’s guardian.


	13. Single motherhood and hubbies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if you guys call it this, but where I live, "husband" is called a "hubby" by most teens for short.  
> Hehe sorry for the wait, I had to take an SAT ;-;  
> -Helena

     “Jisung, I know that you and Chenle are together,” Taeyong begins, trying to give Jisung a lecture about time management. Johnny glances at Jisung in the backseat through the rearview mirror, just in time to see him roll his eyes. 

     “Yeah, Mom, whatever,” Jisung replied. Taeyong frowned. 

     “I didn’t raise you like this,” Taeyong muttered. Johnny snickered. 

     “Then how  _ did  _ you raise him?” Johnny asked. 

     “Being a single mother is difficult, alright?” Taeyong said, exasperated. 

     “Maybe if you found yourself a hubby,” Jisung wiggled his eyebrows. Johnny wiggled his own eyebrows back and Taeyong facepalmed. 

     “This is why I can’t talk to you guys before my morning coffee,” Taeyong huffed. 

     “Mom, it’s four in the afternoon,” 

 

     “Renjun, can you  _ please _ help Jisung with his homework? I’m trying to cook!” Taeyong shouted up the stairs. Unfortunately, he walked away from the pot, which started to hiss and froth over. 

     “Holy shit,” Taeyong muttered, running back to the stove. The front door opens and a tired looking Yukhei walks in. 

     “Hey, Mom,” Yukhei greeted. 

     “Stop calling me ‘Mom’. I’m not your mother,” Taeyong huffed. Yukhei raised an eyebrow. 

     “Mom, what’s for dinner?”

     “Spaghetti, can you help Jisung with his homework?”  

     “Um,” 

     “Or get Johnny to do it,”

     “I doubt he remembers anything. He can’t even find his precious sweatshirt,”. At this, Taeyong coughed. 

     “Then get Yuta,”

     “He’s napping!” came Renjun’s shout. 

     “Fine,”  Yukhei trudged off. 

  
  


**China Line**

 

**Kunniang:** can someone explain to chenle what differentiation is

 

**yuk-HEY!:** the slope of tangent line to a continuous function

 

**Sichenggg:** omg yukhei educated?!?!

 

**yuk-HEY!:** …..

**yuk-HEY!:** didnt ask to be roated like dis

 

**Injunnie:** roated

 

**smol_dolphin:** roated

 

**yuk-HEY!:** stfu

 

**smol_dolphin:** why isn’t jisungie texting me back

**smol_dolphin:** he’s left me on read since 5 pm

 

**Sichenggg:** taeyong took his phone

 

**smol_dolphin:** omg why

 

**Sichenggg:** bc he was texting

 

**Kunniang:** should i take yours too chenle

 

**smol_dolphin:** no plz

 

**Kunniang:** then stop texting

 

**Injunnie:** did chenle just call jisung jisungie

 

**Sichenggg:** romance

 

**yuk-HEY!:** what do you call yuta, sicheng

 

[ **Sichenggg** _ has removed  _ **smol_dolphin** ]

 

**Sichenggg:** hoe-ny

 

**Injunnie:** what the fuck

[ **Sichenggg** _ has added  _ **smol_dolphin** ]

 

**smol_dolphin:** wat was that for

 

**Kunniang:** thanks for removing chenle b4 saying that

 

**smol_dolphin:** what did he say

 

**Kunniang:** nothing

 

**yuk-HEY!:** how many moms do i have

**yuk-HEY!:** i’m so shookt

**yuk-HEY!:** if taeyong’s my mom

**yuk-HEY!:** then what is kun

 

**Injunnie:** chinese mom

 

**Kunniang:** …

 

**yuk-HEY!:** oh shit u right

 

**Kunniang:** what is happening

 

**Sichenggg:** does elemental not have a dorm mom

 

**smol_dolphin:** that’s doyoung

 

**Injunnie:** which one’s doyoung

 

**yuk-HEY!:** the one kissing taeil in the bathroom

 

**Kunniang:** what

 

**smol_dolphin:** what

 

**Kunniang:** spill the tea

 

**yuk-HEY!:** oh shit

 

[ **yuk_HEY!** _ has left the chat _ ]

**Sichenggg:** lmao 

 

**Injunnie:** sicheng you explain

[ **Injunnie** _ has left the chat _ ]

 

**Sichenggg:** what the fuck

[ **Sichenggg** _ has left the chat _ ]

  
  


     Taeyong had decided that he needed to keep an eye on Jisung, so he pulled a Mom-card. He made Jisung sit across from him and do his work. Jisung and whined and complained, but sat down nonetheless. Jisung finally looked like he was studying, so Taeyong shifted his attention back to his notebook of lyrics. For once in a very long time, with Yukhei, Sicheng, and Renjun out with promotions, the dorm was quiet. It wasn’t long before Yuta trudged into the kitchen. 

     “Yuta? You alright?” Taeyong asked, glancing at Yuta’s slightly disheveled state. 

     “Yeah, I just took the best nap of my life,” Yuta replied, voice heavy with sleep. 

     “But it’s eight PM,” Taeyong asked. Jisung looked at Taeyong. 

     “Any time is a good time for sleep, Mom,” Jisung said. Yuta reached over to high-five Jisung. 

     “No, it’s not, especially since I know Yuta’s probably going to stay up until two AM playing his phone,” Taeyong frowned. 

     “Or he could just be waiting for Sicheng,” Jisung supplied, wiggling his eyebrows. 

     “Or, maybe he’s just burnt out and wants to nap,” Yuta retorted. He reached for the fridge, pulling out the leftover spaghetti and shoving it in the microwave, ceramic clanging against the plate. 

     “You don’t have to be so aggressive with the microwave,” Taeyong said. Yuta turned around and gave him a dead look. 

     “You wish Jaehyun was this aggressive with you,” Yuta replied, face straight as a ruler. Jisung screeched. Taeyong’s face turned as red as a beet. 

     “Yuta! There are children present!” Taeyong screeched. Yuta shrugged and turned back to his spaghetti while Jisung was on the floor, cackling. Yuta shrugged, took his bowl out of the microwave and went back to his room. 

     “You forgot chopsticks!” Taeyong shouted after him. 

 

     “You know, there’s a reason Jeno thinks you smell now,” Jaehyun said to Ten as he shuffled into the living room. 

     “Tell Jeno to keep his thoughts to himself, because I’m not taking this off,” Ten snapped back. 

     “Why don’t you just wash it?” Jaehyun asked. Ten turned around slowly from his position on the couch to face him. 

     “Are you crazy?” Ten asked. Jaehyun blinked. 

     “Umm… no?” 

     “I can’t wash it because then it wouldn’t smell like him, geezus.” Ten turned back around. Jaehyun stood there, trying to reel back from his shock. 

     “You know, dates are a thing,” Jaehyun said, trying to nudge Ten away from smelling like week-old clothes. 

     “But he’s so dense!” Ten whined. Jaehyun glanced over. 

     “But Johnny seems like a smart guy,” Jaehyun said, trying to comfort Ten. 

     “Smart? He’s probably got a total of one brain cell that resides in his dick,” Ten groaned. Jaehyun blinked. 

     “You’ve thought about his dick already?” 

     “Well, duh. I’m gay as fuck,” Ten rolled his eyes. Jaehyun blinked at him again.

     “Umm, okay,” Jaehyun nodded and turned back around to memorizing lines. Ten, sensing that Jaehyun lost interest, get up and plops himself next to Jaehyun at the kitchen table. 

     “How are things going with Yongie?” Ten wiggled his eyebrows. Jaehyun looked up. 

     “I’m...not sure I ever mentioned him to you guys?” Jaehyun asked questionably. Ten laughed. 

     “Your phone screen isn’t very private,” Ten said, “He hasn’t texted in a while, I see. Something gone wrong?” Jaehyun frowned at Ten’s words. Those were exactly his own thoughts.

     “I don’t think so. I mean, I hope not. He’s really quite the charmer,” Jaehyun muttered. Ten sighed. 

     “If only he was hot, too,” Ten said dreamily. Jaehyun’s brain immediately went to Taeyong in those skinny black jeans. Holy shit. 

     “You know, you were much more, I don’t know, bouncier with Yong around,” Ten sighed. Jaehyun knew he was up to something. 

     “And what are you suggesting?” Jaehyun asked, finally putting away the notebook, giving Ten his full, undivided attention. 

     “Ask him out. Like, on a date,” 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG A DATE?  
> ok confession time, I've never actually been on a date, so I don't know how to write one. Someone please hit me up with some experience so I can make it as less cringey as possible, thanks baes  
> -Helena


	14. Friday at 2 PM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So umm, AU where fans tell their idols to go out and socialize and get themselves a bf/gf?  
> also WayV slaying my life?!?!?!? like, can they not be that hot?  
> Where does SM find all these gems like what  
> Sorry for the long time, but I hope ~2,000 words makes up for it?  
> LMAO I JUST READ IT AND THERE'S A PLOT HOLE BUT PLEASE IGNORE  
> -Helena
> 
> FUCK  
> so now there is gonna be a shedule bc we procrastinate (me) so EVERY TWO WEEKS ALRIGHT  
> -Min

**jj_yoonoh:** Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Sooooo

 

 **ttyong:** Yes?

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** I was thinking

 

 **ttyong:** You can think?

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** STFU

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Do you maybe want to go to get coffee sometime?

  


     Taeil shot three feet up in the air, hitting the ceiling, when Taeyong screamed into his pillow.

 

     “You doing ok down there?” Taeil asked from the top bunk, rubbing his head from the bruise that was probably already forming.

     Taeyong lifted his head from the pillow with his chestnut hair everywhere.

     “Do I look ok?”

     “What happened?” Taeil asked, sitting back on his bunk.

     “Jaehyun asked me on a date.” Taeyong huffed.

     “What the hell that's great! I have to go and tell Renjun. He and Jaemin put bets on you.”

     “Wait, what the fuck? You guys bet on me, again?!” Taeyong sighed in defeat.

     “What is troubling you, child?” Taeil asked.

      “I’m so screwed.”

     “Screwed?” Taeil asked. Taeyong buried his head in his pillow again.

     “So, um, he doesn’t know that we’re the same person, and I don’t know how to break that to him.”

     Taeil was silent for a moment before he put the pieces together.

     “You mean you’ve been texting him under a different name?” Taeil asked. Taeyong whimpered in defeat.

     “Yes,” Taeyong sighed. Taeil was silent again. Taeyong glanced down at him from the edge of the bed.

     “Say something, old man, help me out here,” Taeyong asked. Taeil rolled his eyes.

     “I shouldn’t, just because you called me an old man.”

* * *

 

     Jaehyun ripped open the door to Ten’s single bedroom.

 

     “I asked him.” Jaehyun sighed.

     “Good.”

     “I’m gonna cry.”

     “May I ask why?”

     “Because what if he says no? Then all my progress is lost.”

     Ten buried his face in his hands.

     “You know, you need to have a little more damn confidence in yourself. You’re an idol for god’s sake.”

     Jaehyun sat down on Ten’s bed.

     “I know, but there’s always a chance. I mean he always asks how my day was and he makes me laugh so much. He’s just too good. I’m really worried.”

     Ten saw how honest the other was about this and pulled him into a side hug.

     “It’s going to be ok. Don’t worry. I’m positive he is going to say yes. He is a fan after all.”

     They sat for a few more minutes before Jaehyun’s phone pinged.

     “Was that him?” Ten asked as Jaehyun picked up the phone. The other nodded slowly.

     “What did he say?” Ten prodded.

     “He said yes!” Jaehyun screamed, jumping in excitement.

* * *

 

     “So guys, um, I’ll magically be sick on Friday at 2 PM,” Taeyong addressed his band members. Yukhei raised an eyebrow.

     “What?” Johnny asked.

     “He has a date,” Taeil said. Taeyong winced at the sudden outburst.

     “What?!” Jisung screeched.

     “With whom?” Sicheng asked.

     “Where?” Yuta shouted.

     “You owe me ten bucks,” Renjun laughed.

     “No! I meant if Taeyong asked out Jaehyun!” Jaemin defended himself.

     A pause. At this, Renjun turns to Taeyong.

     “It _is_ Jaehyun, right?” Renjun asked, fingers crossed. Taeyong rolled his eyes.

     “Yes, it is Jaehyun. We’re meeting at the cafe around the corner, and no, he asked me,” Taeyong watched with utter disapproval as Renjun stuck his hand out towards his boyfriend, who reluctantly put ten bucks in his hand.

     “How many times can you bet on one person?” Taeyong huffed.

* * *

 

     Jaehyun stood before the mirror, fingers shaking as he tried to button on his shirt. Doyoung and Kun were lounging on the bed, watching something together on Doyoung’s bed.

     “Kun! Help me, I can’t button this,” Jaehyun whined. Kun glanced up at Jaehyun’s shirt with the buttons askew.

     “I can’t help you if you can’t even put your buttons in their proper holes,” Kun groaned, pushing himself up and walking over to Jaehyun. Doyoung snickered.

     “To think Jung Jaehyun can’t button his own shirt,” Doyoung muttered, “Oh, what’s little Yongie going to think?”

     “Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to unbutton it himself later today, hmmm?” Kun said. Doyoung cackled as Jaehyun felt a blush creeping up his face.

     “His ears are so red!” Doyoung wheezed.

 

     Taeyong was sitting in the booth, hands fiddling with his jacket. He hoped that Jaehyun wasn’t dressed too formally. He himself was wearing a plain pink tee, dark blue jacket, and black skinny jeans. He was wearing a black baseball cap that covered his hair and a scarf that was pulled up to his chin, covering some on his face. His heart pounded as he pulled out his phone to check the time. Still five minutes. He scrolled through the messages before he realized something was very, _very_ wrong.

     “Shit,” Taeyong whispered to himself as he checked the username at the top. He didn’t believe his eyes until he refreshed it again.

     “Holy shit,” At the top of the page his username was in bold font: **ttyong.**

     He had used the fake account to agree to the date. Taeyong sat there, his brain kicking into overdrive. _What if Jaehyun realizes it’s me and decides to leave? What if he asks me why I know he’s here tonight and on a date with someone? What if---_ Taeyong’s thoughts are cut off by a message notification

 

 **jj_yoonoh:** Which seat are you at?

 

 **ttyong:** 5D

 

**jj_yoonoh: read**

 

     Here goes nothing, Taeyong thinks. A few moments later, Jaehyun slides into the seat opposite him.

     “Hey,” Jaehyun said experimentally. Taeyong, still pulling his cap down, nods.

     “Hey,” Taeyong said. Something passes over Jaehyun’s eyes for a flash. If it weren’t for staring at Jaehyun for so many hours, Taeyong would have thought it was a trick of the light.

     “What would you like?” Jaehyun asked and handed a menu to Taeyong. Taeyong knew Jaehyun was studying him as he flipped the pages of the menu. He browsed through it before settling on a chai tea latte. .

     “Isn’t it hot in here?” Jaehyun asked suddenly.

     “Why aren’t you covered up? Aren’t you afraid your fangirls will come screaming?” Taeyong asked, quirkiness coming back into his voice. Jaehyun smiled warmly.

     “More like fanboys, right?” Jaehyun smiled.

     “And what are you implying?”

     “Well, I mean, clearly I’m popular with the gentlemen as well, hmm?” Jaehyun asked, smirking slightly. Taeyong flushed, suddenly very glad for the mask.

     “I suppose,” Taeyong said simply, refusing to give Jaehyun the satisfaction of having outsmarted him. Jaehyun smiled again before he waved a waitress over and ordered. Taeyong noticed her flirty gestures and her fake voice and frowned.

     “She was totally flirting with you,” Taeyong said as soon as the waitress was out of earshot. Jaehyun laughed.

     “I’m aware,” Jaehyun said gently. He had felt that the voice was eerily familiar to someone he knows, but he can’t quite pinpoint it. Somewhere in his memories, a face goes with the voice. Somewhere.

     “I think you know everything about me, so tell me about yourself,” Jaehyun said after a moment’s silence. Taeyong’s heart rate picked up. He wasn’t expecting this question so soon.

     “Uh--I like to dance, I’m okay at it, I guess.” Taeyong muttered. Jaehyun managed to pick up every word.

     “I write in my free time,” Taeyong said. Jaehyun smiled and said nothing, encouraging Taeyong to continue. Meanwhile, Jaehyun’s brain was going into overdrive. Just who was this? He had definitely met him before. Company interns? No, Jaehyun knew them all. Yong was a fan. Was he at a fansign recently?

     Taeyong silently cursed himself for not having prepared an alibi. Luckily, he was saved when the waitress returned with their drinks. Unluckily, in his haste to take a sip, he took the wrong cup. The taste that exploded in his mouth was not sweet chai tea latte, but rather bitter black coffee. Taeyong then proceeded to choke, covering his hand with his mouth and coughing rather violently. Jaehyun panicked, rushing over to the other and hitting his back forcefully.

     “Are you ok?” Jaehyun asked.

     “I’m ok. I accidentally took your drink and I can’t handle anything that doesn’t have sugar.” Taeyong wheezed. “Seriously how the fuck do you drink this?”

     Jaehyun laughed, covering his mouth, a gesture Taeyong found endearing, “I don’t actually like sweet stuff that much,”

     “I’ll buy you a new cup,” Taeyong said, embarrassed. Jaehyun shook his head, plopped himself back across from Taeyong. Gently, Jaehyun took the cup out of Taeyong’s hand and took a sip. _Right where Taeyong took a sip_.

     “Ew, you’re so gross,” Taeyong said, unable to hide his laugh.

     “Hey, at least I’m not drinking that sugar concoction. I saw you dump more sugar in there.”

     “It’s good.”

     “Not unless you want diabetes.”

     “Ok, fine, but I will let you know, I get a lot of exercise in daily,” Taeyong huffed. He wasn’t expecting Jaehyun’s eyebrows to shoot up.

     “Exercise,” Jaehyun smirked. Taeyong immediately realized what he had said.

     “No! I mean--holy fuck,” Taeyong groaned. Jaehyun starts chuckling at Taeyong’s distress. Taeyong tries to mentally bury himself underneath the foundation of the cafe.

     “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.” Jaehyun murmured, taking another sip of his coffee. Taeyong froze. _Did Jaehyun just call me cute?_ He peeks over at Jaehyun, only to make direct eye contact with him. Jaehyun holds his stare, sending Taeyong’s heart fluttering in his chest. The moment is ruined when Taeyong’s phone rings, startling both of them.

     “I’m sorry, it’s one of my mem--my friends,” Taeyong apologizes quickly, his cheeks flaming.

     “Hello?” Taeyong asked into the phone. He is greeted by Sicheng’s panicked voice.

     “So the manager wants to know where you are, because images of Jaehyun and a someone that looks suspiciously like you are starting to pop up around the web,” Sicheng said. Taeyong cursed under his breath.

     “I’ll be back ASAP,” Taeyong said, and hung up the call.

     “Everything alright?” Jaehyun asked as Taeyong rapidly searches Jaehyun’s name. Sure enough, images that were taken less than twenty minutes ago had already started popping up, with thousands of comments underneath.

     “Um, Jaehyun,” Taeyong slides his phone over to him. Jaehyun glances down and furrows his eyebrows.

     “Huh,” Jaehyun said nonchalantly, taking a sip of his bitter bean juice. Taeyong internally screeched. _Jaehyun’s so hot._

     “Are you alright with this?” Taeyong asked. Jaehyun shrugged.

     “My fans have been telling me to go out and socialize, so I don’t think they’ll mind,” Jaehyun replied, taking another sip. Taeyong raises an eyebrow. Jaehyun puts his cup down.

     “Do you need to go?” Jaehyun asked. Taeyong stared at him until he remembered what he’d told Sicheng.

     “I’m sorry,” Tayong muttered. Jaehyun only smiled and waved the waitress over.

     Once the drinks were paid for, Jaehyun gently took Taeyong’s hand and lead him outside the cafe.

     “Do you need a ride home?” Jaehyun asked. Taeyong was about to agree, before he remembered that he sort of lived at a dorm and not a house.

     “I’ll be fine, I took the bus here anyway,” Taeyong said. Jaehyun nodded. Suddenly, he leaned down and murmured in his ear.

     “Thanks for the date, Taeyongie,” Jaehyun whispered, before planting a gentle kiss on Taeyong’s hand. Taeyong stood there frozen as Jaehyun smiled before turning and leaving.


	15. Sicheng knows what Taeil did in the dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all like my tags?  
> This chapter is for the Doeil stans (do Doyoung and Taeil have an official ship name or am I just blind?)  
> lmao i've never kissed anyone? so uh ???????????????  
> OH SHIT I SPOILED IT oh well you were gonna read it, right? RIGHT? (i'm not clingy, nope)  
> -Helena
> 
> Lol  
> Helena wrote this chapter in one god damn night.  
> So kudo this bitch up  
> \- Min

     Doyoung’s observant. He was 100% sure that Renjun and Jaemin had managed to get Jeno’s number and were talking. Doyoung was also 100% sure that Taeyong knew about he and Taeil kissing and 100% sure that Chenle told Jisung. Which meant that he was 100% sure that all eighteen of them knew. One does not simply tell the maknaes something and expect nothing to happen.

 

     “Taeil, where are you going?” Sicheng stood in the doorway of his and Yuta’s room, rubbing at his eyes sleepily. Taeil froze. Shit.

     “Uhh, I’m going to get some ice cream,” Taeil whispered, flinching at his hesitation. Sicheng didn’t buy it.

     “But it’s almost midnight,” Sicheng muttered, more to himself than to Taeil, “we have a schedule in six hours,”

     “I know,” Taeil answered. A quick thought jumped into his brain. “What flavor ice cream do you want?” Sicheng noticeably perks up at that.

     “Ice cream? Can you get me a Neapolitan?”

 

     Doyoung sat at the bench of the convenience store, glancing at his watch. He sighed. Doyoung took another sip of his cheap store tea, cap pulled low and collar pulled high. Three minutes later, the store’s bell emits a small _ding_ and a panting Taeil comes running in.

     “Sorry I’m late, I almost got caught,” Taeil wheezed. Doyoung raised an eyebrow.

     “You know, there’s better things out there to make you gasp like that,” Doyoung smirked. Taeil proceeded to choke, Doyoung laughed, patting him on the back. Taeil caught his breath and sat down next to him.

     “You’re so un-romantic,” Taeil muttered. He tried to deny the blush on his cheeks, but Doyoung noticed everything.

     “You’re the oldest, wisest out of the eighteen of us, and the word you use to describe me is ‘un-romantic’?” Doyoung asked coyly. Taeil’s blush deepened.

     “What do you want me to use, ‘in-romantic’?”

     “How about ‘in love’ instead?” Doyoung smiled as he smoothly snakes an arm around Taeil’s shoulders, pulling him a bit closer. Taeil’s ears flamed red. Doyoung loved making him blush. Taeil is so cute, who ever denies that gets a stab. From Doyoung.

     “You’re so cringey,” Taeil groaned, but leans into Doyoung’s touch anyway.

     “Wow, the old man knows some modern slang?” Doyoung’s sarcastic tone lead to a slap on the chest from Taeil.

     “Ouch! That hurt,” Doyoung cried out. Taeil jumped up, ready to apologize. He put his hand on Doyoung’s chest where he hit him, but another hand closed over his own. Taeil froze, his heart rate spiking as Doyoung placed another hand under his chin, tilting his face up to meet his eyes.

     “You really hurt my heart, Taeil,” Doyoung whispered. Taeil’s breath caught in his throat as Doyoung leaned down. Their lips were so close to touching. Taeil craved Doyoung’s lips like he needed air. No, his lips came first. Oxygen second. Which is why Taeil leaned in a little, but caught himself. _What was I about to do?!_

     Doyoung noticed. He noticed how Taeil leaned in closer, but stopped himself. _Dammit, just kiss me you beautiful homo sapien._ This thought immediately lead to _hehe,_ homo _sapien, get it, because we’re_ —

     Taeil decided that he’d had enough. Mustering up courage, he leaned in first. He seemed to catch Doyoung off guard, but Doyoung quickly pulled him close. Taeil loved it, the taste of the sweet tea on Doyoung’s tongue, how soft his lips were. Taeil leaned in a little more, desperate for the euphoria. Doyoung didn't miss the tiny little moan Taeil let out, caught in his lips. 

     “Uhm,” a girl’s cough startles Taeil and he falls backward, arms flailing as they try to catch him before he lands on his butt. But they failed, sending Taeil crashing to the tile floor.

     “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!” the girl cried. She hurried over to make sure Taeil was alright. Doyoung was trying to conceal his laughter.

     “‘M alive,” Taeil muttered. He was still embarrassed that someone had caught them making out.

     “Uh, I just came to tell you that I have to close up in fifteen minutes,” the girl said, before bowing and hurrying back to wherever she came from.

     “Come on, let’s head outside,” Doyoung takes Taeil’s hand gently and leads him out the door.

 

     “Ohhh, Doyoung’s so tired, I wonder what he was doing last night!” Donghyuck called out to Mark. Mark snickered back.

     “Hmm, a little birdie told me—” Mark began, but was promptly shut up by the pillow thrown at his face.

     “Shut up!” Doyoung hissed. Donghyuck rose to his full height, which wasn’t that much.

     “Don’t hit my boyfriend like that!” Donghyuck shouted. Ten rolled his eyes and Jaehyun sighed. Jeno cheered Donghyuck on as Kun snacked on popcorn before passing it to Jeno.

     “Yeah, what if we hit your Taeil like that,” Mark yelled. Doyoung froze.

     “WHAT?!” Doyoung screeched. Jaehyun and Ten made eye contact and tried to conceal their grins.

     “Don’t think we didn’t know who you were meeting at midnight!” Kun yelled. Doyoung was still petrified.

     “You know, you gotta be more subtle, Doyoung, or some media outlet would find out!” Chenle singsonged. Where had he even come from?

     “I. Hate. All. Of. You,” Doyoung seethed. Jeno pouted.

     “Even me?” Jeno asked, putting on his best puppy face. Doyoung’s heart softened just a tiny, tiny bit.

     “Not you, Jeno, never you,”

  


**Whipped AF TYTrack**

 

 **Nana_nana_batman:** ok squad

 **Nana_nana_batman:** it is official

 **Nana_nana_batman:** we need to change the gc name

 

[ **Nana_nana_batman** has changed the group

name to **Doyoung? More like Do-Taeil** ]

 **Japanese_prince:** oh damn

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** hot damn ok

 **Jisung_pwark:** jaemin we see u

 

 ******Leadermom:** finally it’s not me

 

 **Old_man:** you’re just gonna let him do this to me?

 

 **Chicago_boi:** its entertaining as fck

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** tall guy isnt wrong for once

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** but ur^ tall too

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** tall squad

 

 **Chicago_boi:** gang gang

 

 **Sichenggg:** am i part of this gang

 

 **Chicago_boi:** if ur taller than yuta, then ur part of the gang

 

 **Japanese_prince:** but am i taller than myself

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** your ego is

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** oh shit maknae on top

 

 **Japanese_prince:** excUZE ME?

 

 **Sichenggg:** haha get roasted

 **Sichenggg:** you asked for that one ok

 

 **Chicago_boi:** yuta is short

 

 **Leadermom:** johnny let’s not discriminate

 

 **Old_man:** i will beat you up

 

 **Injunnie:** with what, your cane?

 

 **Old_man:** YOU COME HERE RIGHT NOW CHILD


	16. good good study, day day up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title is from Aria, a chinese legend.  
> lmao how's life everyone?  
> I have auditions on thursday and have I looked at the music? hehe no  
> -Helena
> 
> Helena literally wrote this chapter in an hour. Again.   
> \- Min

     “Did you reply his text?” Renjun asked Jaemin from where the older was slouched on the couch.

     “Sure did,” Jaemin replied from the floor. Renjun huffed. He wasn’t sure where their relationship with Jeno was at this moment, considering that Jaemin was not subtle at all. Not. At. All.

     “Why doesn’t he text _me?_ ” Renjun muttered disappointedly. Jaemin pulled his small boyfriend close.

     “I don’t think he’s very familiar with this whole poly thing,” Jaemin comforted.

 

     “Oh my god, Mark, what do I say?” Jeno groaned. He wasn’t sure which one of the two boys he was into. Truth be told, he was into both of them, but that just feels weird.

     “Jeno, just be yourself,” Mark said from his spot on the practice room floor. Jeno flopped back onto the wood.

     “But Injunnie is so cute, and Jaemin’s so pretty, how do I tell them that?” Jeno asked. Mark looked up from his phone.

     “Just tell them that. You’re going to be fine. At least you and your loved one--loved ones?-- aren’t in the same group, so you don’t have to see them everyday and make it awkward,” Mark rolled his eyes. Jeno suddenly sat up.

     “Do you think Jaehyun has good advice?” Jeno asked suddenly, “I mean, he’s got Taeyong already, right?” Mark scoffed.

     "That loser, you really think he could have gotten Taeyong without our help?”

 

     First days of the second semester were always the worst. Not only did the mid-year grades come out, but the increased pressure from comebacks also didn’t help. Additionally, Renjun and Jaemin were distracted. By a boy. It wasn’t unusual for Jaemin to be distracted by a boy, but for Renjun, top-of-the-class Renjun, it was a strange feeling.

     “Shit, Jaemin, I didn’t know he went to our school,” Renjun muttered, nudging Jaemin. Jaemin looked up from his sandwich.

     “Shit,” they both mutter again. Jeno looks so _fine,_ he must be the only one who can pull off the ugly yellow uniform and still look flaming hot.

     “Did he always sit alone?” Jaemin asked. Renjun and Jaemin look at each other, then back at Jeno.

     “No, isn’t that Donghyuck?” Renjun replied. Jaemin craned his neck to see.

     “Oh my god, that’s Mark’s boyfriend,” Jaemin affirmed. Suddenly, Jaemin ducked down, banging his forehead on the table.

     “Ah, shit,” Jaemin groaned, rubbing at his forehead, “he saw us looking,”

     “Oh my god, do you think we should invite him over, like, the four of us?” Renjun asked. Jaemin looked up from his self-pitying.

     “Let’s go,” Jaemin dragged Renjun up. Renjun frowned, his face turning pink.

     “No, you go,” Renjun said, folding back onto himself. Jaemin cooed.

     “Aww, are you shy?”

 

     “Over _there,_ Donghyuck, are you blind?” Jeno face-palmed. Donghyuck cackled.

     “I know where they are,” Donghyuck replied, scooping up another bite of rice. Jeno stared down at his chocolate milk.

     “But I can’t, I can’t do this, oh my god,” Jeno put his face in his hands. Donghyuck glanced back at them, only to see the pink-haired boy duck his head, before a resounding gong sounded from the table. Donghyuck hid his laugh behind his hand.

     “Jeno, oh my god, what’s the pink-haired’s name again?” Donghyuck choked out. Jeno looked up.

     “Jaemin,” Jeno replied without missing a beat. Donghyuck snorted, trying to contain his laugh.

     “Well, I think he may have lost some brain cells from banging his head on the table,” Donghyuck said, shoving more rice into his face. Jeno groaned.

     “Dammit, cute _and_ dorky,”

 

     “I hate history,” Jaemin groaned. Dead people just didn’t interest him. But it was the only class he shared with Renjun, so he didn’t complain too much. Renjun gave him a side-eye.

     “We’re on my favorite unit, so you shut up,” Renjun threatened.

     “Only because this one is Ancient China!” Jaemin whisper-shouted. Renjun slapped his bicep.

     “So? I could literally carry your stupid ass through the unit!” Renjun said. Jaemin froze, staring at the door. Renjun followed his line of sight. Right there, walking through the door looking a little lost, just as the bell rang, was Lee Jeno. Renjun glanced up at Jeno’s face, only to make eye contact. The small Chinese boy felt his face heat up. _Ohhh, shit._

     “Shit, did he transfer to our class?” Jaemin asked. But before Renjun could reply, Mr. Oh stood up.

     “You must be Lee Jeno!” Mr. Oh said. Jeno felt his hands sweat. He simply nodded, smiling at the tall teacher. His eyes had landed on Renjun the moment he walked in. _Dammit, Donghyuck, I know why you made me add that other class. So I would be moved to this class. This class with Renjun and Jaemin._

     “Welcome! Find any empty seat and we’ll get you started!” Jeno glanced around. Renjun had curled up onto himself, face blushing. In a bold move, Jeno chose the seat on the other side of Jaemin.

     “Hey!” Jaemin said amicably. Jeno replied his greeting before taking his notebook out of his backpack. He looked at Renjun again., who looked like he was trying to melt into his chair.

     “Is he alright?” Jeno asked, glancing at Renjun. Jaemin looked at Renjun, who, unlike usual, was not diligently taking notes, but trying not to die of sheer embarrassment.

     “Oh, he’ll be fine. He’s just not used to cute boys,” Jaemin said flirtatiously. Jeno saw an opportunity and jumped on it.

     “But how does he live with you?” Jeno replied. Jaemin seemed taken aback. The three were in a momentary trance, until Jeno got picked to answer a question, since Mr. Oh knew they weren’t paying attention.

     “Jeno, which dynasty came after Song?” Mr. Oh asked. Jeno’s head snapped up.

     “Yuan,” Jeno replied without missing a beat. Mr. Oh looked impressed. Jaemin nudged Renjun, who hadn’t gotten out of fetal position.

     “He’s smart,” Jaemin whispered to him. Renjun didn’t respond, but robotically unwinded his limbs and picked up his pen.

     “Alright, so the Yuan were mostly Mongols…” Mr. Oh drawled on. Renjun’s brain was not on the lesson. His brain cells were screaming at him, _leave leave leave, don’t embarrass yourself, oh my god it’s Lee Jeno, oh my god._

 

     Taeyong glanced disapprovingly at Renjun and Jaemin, who had their history textbooks sprawled out in front of them on the kitchen table, yet neither were studying. It had been two weeks since Renjun started getting up earlier to go to school, making sure his hair was done up and Jaemin was doing the same. Taeyong looked at Yukhei, who was sitting on the couch. Yukhei shrugged.

     “Lee Jeno,” Yukhei whispered. Taeyong rolled his eyes. Dammit, why were all of his members in a gay panic?

     “Renjun, Jaemin, are you guys actually studying?” Taeyong asked. Renjun’s head snapped up.

     “Yeah?” he asked. Taeyong raised an eyebrow.

     “Ok, I was just asking because you’ve been staring at the same page for the last fifteen minutes,” Taeyong replied. Renjun sheepishly turned the page.

     “Yong, do you have advice for cute boys?” Jaemin asked. Taeyong looked at him. Renjun had stopped staring and looked at Taeyong too.

     “Uhh,” Taeyong started, but was cut off by Yukhei.

     “Literally, Yong and I are the worst people to ask for advice,” Yukhei replied. Renjun and Jaemin nodded, understanding.

     “Great, I’m going to go find Sicheng,” Renjun said, dragging Jaemin with him to Sicheng and Yuta’s room. Yukhei and Taeyong watched them retreat.

     “Yikes,” they both mutter.

 

     “You want to impress Jeno?” Sicheng asked the two kids sitting on Yuta’s half of the bed. They nodded quickly. Sicheng sighed.

     “First of all, Jeno is probably confused. Don’t make it harder on him by approaching him two at a time. He’s probably overwhelmed,” Sicheng begins. God, where does he even start? Just then, his phone lights up. A text from Taeyong, telling him that Renjun and Jaemin have a history test coming up. Sicheng’s brain clicks.

     “Second, I know from Kun and Chenle that Jeno almost always ranks at the top of the exams,” Sicheng began, hoping to get his point across. Renjun and Jaemin perk up at that.

     “So maybe, find a class you guys take together, and nail the upcoming test, so he’ll think that you’re super smart or something, I don’t know,” Sicheng shrugged. He could tell it was working, since Renjun seemed to function again. Jaemin stood up suddenly, dragging Renjun away.

     “Thanks, Sicheng!” Renjun called out. Sicheng sighed. He closed the door after the boys. 

     “You can come out now, Yuta,” Sicheng said. Yuta tumbled out of the closet, dusting himself off. 

     “So, Renjun, Jaemin, and Jeno, huh?” Yuta smirked. Sicheng rolled his eyes.

     “Ship names?” Sicheng asked. Yuta thought for a moment.

     “Norenmin,”

 

**Doyoung? More like Do-Taeil**

 

 **Sichenggg:** alright listen here bitches

 

 **Leadermom:** language

 

 **Japanese_Prince:** so the whole situation with renjun

 **Japanese_Prince:** and jeno and jaemin

 

 **Sichenggg** : so their ship nme is norenmin

 

 **Injunnie:** wha tthe fuc

 

 **Nana_nana_batman:** we arent even together 

 **Nana_nana_batman:** yet

 

 **Old_man:** 100/10 SHIPPED

 

 **Chicago_boi:** does that mean the rest of us need ship names

 

 **Leadermom:** no

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** no

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** me and chenle are chensung

 **Jisung_pwark:** even tho he insists its chenji

 **Jisung_pwark:** it’s chengSUNG

 

 **Old_man:** we love a romatic maknae

 

[ **Chicago_boi** has changed **Jisung_pwark** ’s username to

 **Chensung** ]

 

 **Chensung:** no omg

 

 **Chicago_boi:** yes omg

 

[ **Chensung** has changed **Chensung** ’s username to

 **Jisung_pwark** ]

 

 **Sichenggg:** guys stay focused

 **Sichenggg:** rj and jm and jn are an item

 

 **Leadermom:** cant wait to write wedding invitations for all my babies

 

 **Old_man:** i’m older than you

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** but with ur height you’re younger than jisung

 

 **Chicago_boi:** chensung*^

 

 **Old_man:** fuck you yuckhei

 

[ **Chensung** has removed **Chicago_boi**

from the group chat]

 

 **Jisung_pawrk:** anyone else

 

 **Leadermom:** don’t be mean, jisung

  


     Jeno stared down at his notes. No matter who sat next to him, he was going to get that first again. Just so he could impress Renjun and Jaemin. Kun had said that Renjun was known for ranking high on his exams. Jeno was determined.

     “I’ve literally _never_ seen you study,” Ten said, munching on chips across from Jeno on the couch. Jeno looked up from the coffee table of notes.  

     “I study all the time?” Jeno asked. It wasn’t a lie. Jeno took school seriously. Ten arched an eyebrow.

     “You’re just in the practice room 99% of the afternoons,” Jeno replied. Ten shrugged. No argument.

     “Ok, but why history. You naturally ace history,” Ten asked. Jeno watched a crumb fall onto the couch.

     “Why not history?” Jeno asked. Ten smirked.

     “I know certain people are in your history class, aren’t they?” Ten asked. Jeno felt his face flush.

     “Does Donghyuck ever shut the hell up?” Jeno muttered. Ten laughed.

     “Nope, never does, probably never will,”

  



	17. The more the merrier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok i need life advice: one of my friends told me today that she likes me. I've been knew she's not straight, but like, me? Anyway, so i literally haven't considered my own relationship interests (school is a bitch), and now i'm super lost. am i attracted to her? not really, as a friend, maybe, i mean she's super pretty and stuff, but....ya know. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO I'M SO LOST SCREECH  
> (it's not aria, btw. aria's straight as a pole)  
> -Helena
> 
> BITCH HELENAS GETTING SUM  
> \- Min

     Renjun had never studied this hard for a test in his entire life. That was saying something, because top-of-the-class didn’t just magically happen. It was the night before their test, and Renjun and Jaemin had skipped dance practice to study for this test. That was also saying something, Jaemin hadn’t intentionally skipped a dance practice since they debuted. Renjun sighed, rubbing at his eyes. Jaemin was already knocked out across from him on kitchen table, but Renjun was still going strong. Sure, six cups of coffee since 4 PM was a bit much, but it was worth a good grade. And maybe a cute boy. Besides, they had made a bet, and Renjun was not about to lose and embarrass himself by asking Jeno out himself.

 

     “Jaem,” Renjun nudged his boyfriend. Jaemin groaned, blinking his eyes open. Jaemin seemed lost for a second, before gathering his senses.

     “Oh fuck, what time is it?” Jaemin asked groggily.

     “3 AM,” Renjun replied, going back to his notes. Jaemin wiped the drool off his chin and picked up his pencil.

     “You’re gross,” Renjun said.

     “But you still love me,” Jaemin said. Renjun sighed.

     “Unfortunately,”

 

     Jeno thought the test was a piece of cake. He’d studied so hard for it, it would be a shame if he didn’t rank high. He’d only guessed on one question. He met Donghyuck by the courtyard and they took the bus to the company.

     “How was your history test?” Donghyuck asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Jeno punched him on the shoulder.

     “Good, might have missed one,” Jeno replied. Donghyuck snickered and pulled out his phone, no doubt to update the group. Jeno ignored him, pulling out his own phone to see the messages.

 

**(ele)Mental-ly unstable**

 

 **duckhyuckquack:** on the bus

 

 **jae_hyun:** jeno and hyuck how was your test

 

 **i_smile:** excellent

 

 **duckhyuckquack:** it was gud

 **duckhyuckquack:** i still think i did better

 

 **i_smile:** fook off, you had Kun tutor you all last week

 

 **duckhyuckquack:** ohh defensive

 **duckhyuckquack:** wanna impress?

 

 **Nine:** go get ‘em

 

 **buni_bun:** ten go get ur boi too

 

 **Nine:** he dense

 

 **i_smile:** no ten, ur just dumb

 **marker:** hard to get never works boi

 **marker:** take it from me

 

 **duckhyuckquack:** wtf it worked what you mean

 

 **jae_hyun:** now, children

 

 **Kunniang:** mark means that he played hard to get

 **Kunniang:** so hyuck became a barnacle

 **Kunniang:** and clung

 

 **smol_dolphin:** i cling to jisung

 

 **buni_bun:** look at me, i’m chenle

 **buni_bun:** and i have my love life sorted out

 

 **smol_dolphin:** u just jealous

 **smol_dolphin:** how’s taeil

 

 **buni_bun:** a good kisser

 

 **i_smile:** damn

 

 **marker:** jaehyun can’t relate

 

 **jae_hyun:** having a chic boyfriend, mark can’t relate

 

 **duckhyuckquack:** boi wot

 **duckhyuckquack:** i am MJ reincarnated smh

 **duckhyuckquack:** how am i not chic

 

 **marker:** don’t fucking come at my bf

 **marker:** i’ll fuck u up nutsack

 

 **Nine:** my mind went elsewhere

 

 **Kunniang:** holy fucking shit, ten, get your mind out of the gutter

 

 **marker:** kun cursing?!?!?!

 

 **Kunniang:** fook off

 

     “Mark, he’s coming,” Donghyuck whispered, ducking behind his taller boyfriend. Jeno’s angry, and Donghyuck’s scared.

     “Well, if you hadn’t pulled strings, he wouldn’t be mad at you, would he?” Mark said. Despite his words, he still pulled Donghyuck behind him. Curse his soft heart.

     “Maaaark,” Donghyuck whined, “you love me, right?”

     “Of course,” Mark sighed. He knew what was coming.

     “Great, then go outside and tell Jeno I’m sorry,” Donghyuck said, pushing Mark out of their room and shutting the door behind his boyfriend. But Mark only let Jeno in the the room, and Donghyuck screamed.

 

**China Line**

 

 **Kunniang:** can y’all reel johnny back a bit

 **Kunniang:** ten likes to play hard to get

 

 **Injunnie:** huh

 

 **Kunniang:** yeah, so tell him that ten will give him silent treatment

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** nah i like drama

 

 **Kunniang:** but i don’t and i don’t want a crying ten

 **Kunniang:** so please tell him to let ten be

 

 **Sichenggg:** does ten like him back tho

 

 **Kunniang:** exactly

 **Kunniang:** so when ten cries

 **Kunniang:** it gets super awkward

 **Kunniang:** because how do i comfort a sad person

 

 **Injunnie:** blanket burrito

 **Injunnie:** its super effective

 **Injunnie:** no pun intended

 

 **Sichenggg:** **slow clap**

 

 **smol_dolphin:** guys i have a legit question

 **smol_dolphin:** if your dorm was burning down

 **smol_dolphin:** and you could only take one thing

 **smol_dolphin:** what would you take

 

 **Kunniang:** my rolex

 

 **Sichenggg:** yuta

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** the dorm

 

 **Injunnie:** a nap

 

 **Sichenggg:** renjun no

 

 **Injunnie:** renjun yes

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** yukhei

 

 **smol_dolphin:** this is why i shouldn’t talk to you guys

 

 **Kunniang:** you started this conversation

 

 **smol_dolphin:** mom is that donghyuck screaming again?

 

 **Kunniang:** yea

 

 **Sichenggg:** whats wrong

 

 **Kunniang:** so donghyuck is stupid

 **Kunniang:** and made jeno add a class

 **Kunniang:** so he would be moved to renjun and jaemin’s history class

 **Kunniang:** and jeno found out

 **Kunniang:** so donghyuck is running for his life right now

 

 **Injunnie:** wait, so jeno adding to our class wasn’t a coincidence?

 

 **smol_dolphin:** nah

 **smol_dolphin:** it was all planned by donghyuck

 

     Johnny groaned on the lower bunk, Yukhei sending him a glare.

     “Can’t a man get any sleep in here?” Yukhei muttered.

     “It’s two in the afternoon,” Johnny replied.

     “Any time is nap time,”

     “Alright, but don’t think I didn’t see you texting,” Johnny retorted.

     “I bet things aren’t too hot with Ten right now tho,” Yukhei fired back. Johnny froze.

     “What the fuck, how do you know”

     “Kun can gossip like the old Chinese ladies in the supermarket,”

     “Oh my god,” Johnny facepalmed.

     “Hey, but Kun said to reel back a little,” Yukhei said, “I quote ‘Ten likes to play hard to get’ and ‘Ten will give him silent treatment’. Get that figured out, bub.”

     “Holy shit,” Johnny groaned.

 

     Jaemin had never been more anxious to leave lunch early. Heck, he never left lunch early. But here he was, dragging Renjun behind him as he made a beeline for the bulletin board. Renjun’s short legs could barely keep up. When Jaemin turned the corner, he stopped abruptly, causing Renjun to crash into him.

     “What the fuck, Jaem?” Renjun yelled into the empty hallway. Except it wasn’t empty.

     “Oh, hi!” a voice said. Jaemin stiffened. Renjun peeked over Jaemin’s shoulder to see who it was.

     “Fancy seeing you here, Jeno,” Jaemin said. Out of the corner of his eye, Renjun’s cheeks were turning very red.

     “Here to see the scores?” Jeno asked. He moved to the side so Jaemin and Renjun could see the results. Renjun temporarily forgot his panic as he scanned the scores, trying to find his history class.

     “Holy shit, Renjun,” Jaemin said. He jumped a little so he could point at Renjun’s name. At the top. Renjun squealed, scanning down the list.

 

**Huang Renjun - 100**

**Lee Jeno - 99**

**Kim Eunji - 96**

**Na Jaemin - 94**

**Lee Donghyuck - 93**

**Seo Haeun - 90**

**Kim Seungwan - 86**

**.**

**.**

**.**

 

     “Damn,” Jaemin whispered, staring at Jeno’s name in second, “you guys are all so smart.” Jeno shrugged.

     “To be honest, I was surprised Donghyuck scored this high,” Jeno said, “He never studies.” Renjun had gathered his senses, a little high off his happiness.

     “Ha, Jaem, you gotta ask,” Renjun said. Jeno looked between them, confused. Renjun was leaning against the wall smugly while Jaemin had a faint blush creeping up his neck. A rare sight; Jaemin was never flustered, always confident.

     “Uhh, so, you want to go out to dinner with us?” Jaemin asked shyly. Jeno froze. His brain stopped working, but his mouth didn't.

     “Of course,” Jeno heard himself say.

 

**Neo Culture Tech**

 

 **duckhyuckquack:** i hate to reawaken this dead chat

 **duckhyuckquack:** but taeyong can i join dante’s inferno

 

 **jae_hyun:** you wot

 

 **i_smile:** i choked him again 

 

 **Nine:** kinky

 

 **Kunniang:** MINORS

 

 **duckhyuckquack:** so i kinda told ten

 **duckhyuckquack:** that i made jeno add philosophy

 **duckhyuckquack:** so that he and renjun and jaemin would be in a history class

 

 **i_smile:** and then he tried to beat me on the history test

 **i_smile:** which failed

 **i_smile:** he's deliberately getting in the way

 

 **duckhyuckquack:** save me

 

 **Leadermom:** we’d love to accept you!

 

 **marker:** we come in a package deal

 **marker:** is that ok

 

 **Chicago_boi:** join us

 

 **jae_hyun:** excuse me

 

 **buni_bun:** my children are leaving me

 

 **Old_man:** then join us too, doyoung

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** omg shipped

 

 **i_smile:** shipped

 

 **Injunnie:** shipped

 

 **Nana_nana_batman:** shipped

 

 **Japanese_Prince:** omg norenmin

 

 **i_smile:** is that our ship name

 

 **Sichenggg:** are you guys a thing?!?!?!?!?!

 

 **jae_hyun:** what the fook

 

 **Injunnie:** we’re a thing?

 

 **Nana_nana_batman:** i mean, if jeno says so

 

 **smol_dolphin:** huehuehue

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** omg

 

 **Chicago_boi:** omg Chensung

 

 **smol_dolphin:** JISUNG

 **smol_dolphin:** ITS CHENJI

 

 **jae_hyun:** oh my god

 **jae_hyun:** who’s not crushing or in a relationship

 **jae_hyun:** please raise ur hand

 

 **Kunniang:** me

 **Kunniang:** you ain’t slick

 

 **Leadermom:** uhh, me?

 

 **duckhyuckquack:**?

 

 **marker:** what

 

 **Sichenggg:** literally what

 

 **Injunnie:** didn’t you guys go out on a date

 

 **jae_hyun:**.

 

 **Leadermom:** oh that makes us a thing????

 

 **Kunniang:** ouch jaehyun how does that feel

 

 **jae_hyun:** feels bad, mate

 

 **Old_man:** lmao y’all taeyong’s face got so red

 

 **Leadermom:** stfu

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** language, mom

 

 **smol_dolphin:** omg we call jaehyun our dad

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** omg

 

 **buni_bun:** its like youre their kids

 

 **i_smile:** whos my mom, jaehyun

 

 **jae_hyun:**.

 

 **Chicago_boi:** isn’t that the exact question jisung asked taeyong the other day

 **Chicago_boi:** jisung asked who’s my dad

 

 **Leadermom:**.

 

 **Sichenggg:** do i sense some nyamnyam

 

 **Injunnie:** wtf

 

 **Old_man:** lmao y’all his face is so so red

 

 **marker:** enjoy this meme i made of taeyong

 **marker:** <Taeyonggif> **  
**

**Chicago_boi:** omg what a cutie

 

 **Leadermom:** go pine after ten u butt

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** ohHHH SMOKED

 

 **Chicago_boi:** wot

 

 **Nine:** what

 

 **buni_bun:** wow

 

 **duckhyuckquack:** jaehyun i saw you save the meme

 

 **jae_hyun:** screw offf

 

 **i_smile:** didnt even deny it

 

 **jae_hyun:** since yall woudln’t fck off

 **jae_hyun:** PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

 **jae_hyun:** TAEYONG AND I WENT OUT ON A DATE

 **jae_hyun:** BUT HE DOESN’T THINK WE’RE A THING

 **jae_hyun:** THEREFORE WE ARE NOT A THING

 

 **Junguwu:** you guys went on a date?

 

 **Nana_nana_batman:** wait, you guys aren’t a thing?

 

 **Leadermom:** uh

 **Leadermom:** i wouldn’t object to being a thing with you

 

 **Injunnie:** shit

 

 **Japanese_Prince:** ohhh damn

 

 **Chicago_boi:** smooth

 

 **jae_hyun** : are you sure?

 

 **Leadermom:** yea

 

 **Nine:** Do you, Jung Jaehyun, take Lee Taeyong to be your sub?

 

 **jae_hyun:** TEN

 

 **Kunniang:** TEN THERE ARE CHILDREN

 

 **smol_dolphin:** why would taeyong be a sandwich

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** yeah, taeyong’s more of a pepper than a sandwich

 

 **Chicago_boi:** no one tell them

 

 **Old_man:** no one explain it to them

 

 **smol_dolphin:** hey, i wanna know

 

 **Injunnie:** what do sicheng and yuta do at night

 

 **Sichenggg:** NO RENJUN NO

 

 **Japanese_Prince:** we gettin’ some

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** they wrestle

 

 **Junguwu:** oh my god

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** on their creaky bed

 **Jisung_pwark:** and yuta always wins

 **Jisung_pwark:** because sicheng’s always chanting his name

 

 **buni_bun:** oh dear lord

 

 **Sichenggg:** fucking hell

 

 **Nine:** literally

 

 **Sichenggg:** NO OH MY GOD

 

 **Nana_nana_batman:** i can hear yuta cackling from here

 

 **Injunnie:** yuta’s so shameless

 

 **Chicago_boi:** i mean, if i was him and i was gettin’ some

 **Chicago_boi:** i’d be shameless

 

 **smol_dolphin:** i want a sandwich now

 

 **Sichenggg:** you are a sandwich

 

 **Kunniang:** i cant tell if what i’m thinking is what you meant

 **Kunniang:** but i dont wanna know

 

 **smol_dolphin:** i wish i was a sandwich

 **smol_dolphin:** then i’d be a snack

 

 **Jisung_pwark:** you are a snack <33

 

 **smol_dolphin:** <33

 

 **Leadermom:** can’t wait to write wedding invitations for my kids!!!

 

 **Nine:** more like write them for you and jaehyun

 

 **jae_hyun:** what

 

 **buni_bun:** ok eleven

 

 **Leadermom:** ….

 

 **Nine:** stop fcking trolling me

 

 **Junguwu:** omg i’ll help

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** omg hi jungwoo!!

 

 **Junguwu:** omg hi yukhei!!

 

 **Chicago_boi:** wait but if taeyong is the mom

 **Chicago_boi:** and jaehyun is the dad

 **Chicago_boi:** arent they already married?

 

 **Nine:** baby daddies

[ **Leadermom** _has left the chat_ ]

 


	18. eleven out of ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Yukhei, Taeyong, and Johnny try to drown their sorrows in cheap soju. It's super quick, so skip to the first line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read my life crisis! I talked to her privately, face-to-face (I didn't texting was justice). I told her that I love her as a friend and nothing more. She said "I expected this, I still think you're beautiful though". And I think we're much closer because of that.  
> Aria informed me later that I was as straight as a pole (it took me 10 minutes to realize she meant like, a flagpole but all I could think of was the North pole and I was confused)  
> I know this is a shorter chapter, but I promise I'll have more next chapter.  
> -Helena
> 
> Helena’s getting more action then I have in my entire life  
> -min

     Taeyong frowned at the current mess on the kitchen table. Not only was there a knocked out Yukhei half-lying on the table, there were two bottles of soju. Taeyong thanked the heavens silently that Yukhei had chosen a time when Jisung, Renjun, and Jaemin were at school.

     “Why are you drinking at nine in the morning? On a Wednesday?” Taeyong asked, prodding at Yukhei’s back. The giant groaned and shifted.

     “Rubbing alcohol is for the external boo-boos, drinking alcohol is for the internal boo-boos,” Yukhei muttered. Taeyong scoffed.

     “You could have at least shared some,” Taeyong said, grabbing himself a bottle from the remaining four. Yukhei shifted so he only took up half the table as Taeyong popped the bottle open.

     “Wow, care to share?” Johnny said. He’d heard the popping of a bottle and was suddenly interested. Taeyong shrugged.

     “Wasn’t my credit card,” Taeyong said. Yukhei groaned.

     “So, why are we all here, at nine AM on a Wednesday, drinking?” Johnny asked as Taeyong handed him the bottle opener.

     “Thinking about Jungwoo,” Yukhei muttered. Taeyong choked on his soju.

     “I was literally just about to say ‘thinking about Jaehyun’,” Taeyong coughed.

     “Guess I’ll be thinking about Ten,” Johnny laughed, taking a swig.

     “What the fuck?” Sicheng asked, walking into the kitchen to grab himself a glass of water.

     “Want one?” Johnny asked. Sicheng shook his head, grabbed his glass, and walked back to Yuta’s room.

     “See,” Taeyong said, a blush already creeping up his neck from half the bottle, “Sicheng’s got a man, so he doesn’t have internal boo-boos,”

     “Meanwhile us,” Johnny said.

     “Airheaded romantics,” Yukhei finished.

* * *

 

     Donghyuck gagged a little internally when he passed by Jeno’s history class. Donghyuck hated math, and was currently “going to the bathroom”. He swung by Jeno’s history class and glanced in through the window on the door, right where Renjun was sitting with his back straight, diligently taking notes. Jaemin and Jeno were making lovey-dovey eyes at each other. Donghyuck gagged again. He hurried past, thinking about how disgusting his friend was. He pulled out his phone again, texting Mark. He doesn’t expect a reply, especially since it’s a Wednesday morning, and Mark was always in the studio on Wednesday mornings.  

 

**Markiepoo** **_and_ ** **Duckie**

 

 **duckie:** i just saw jeno and jaemin

 **duckie:** making googly eyes at each other

 

     He pocketed his phone in favor of walking back to math class.  Surprisingly, when he checked his phone again before opening the door, Mark had already replied.

 

 **Markiepoo:** I’m sure you’re like that when you look at me

 

     Donghyuck left him on read.

  


     “This is it,” Yuta groaned, “I’m old and dying and will never learn this dance,”

     “You just called me old,” Taeil muttered, sitting beside Yuta on the practice room floor. Unfortunately, break was over, and it was officially comeback time again. The setting sun casted the room in elongated shadows, reflecting off the mirror. Taeyong shoved the practice room door open, and ran in, paper in hand.

     “Guys guys guys,” Taeyong panted, “guess who’s doing a collab with Ten!”

     “What?” Johnny asked. He suddenly decided to stop faking death and pay attention to his leader.

     “That’s right,” Taeyong screeched, “I am”

     “Fuck you,” Johnny muttered. Sicheng snickered.

     “A collab, as in like a song collab?” Yuta asked. Taeyong nodded.

     “More like a dance, but it’s a good song,” Taeyong said.

     “What’s this song called?” Renjun asked. Taeyong pulled out his phone to play the demo.

 _Stop, baby don’t stop._ Ten’s distinct voice echoed in the silent practice room. Jaemin started laughing first.

     “Isn’t it ironic,” Jaemin said, “that Johnny’s in love with Ten, but Taeyong gets the collab?” Johnny shot him a warning look. Jaemin ignored him.

     “It’s probably better that it’s not Johnny,” Taeyong muttered under his breath. Of course, everyone heard.

     “Why not?” Jaemin asked. Taeyong started turning red.

     “Uhh, the choreography…” Taeyong started, but he’d said enough.

  


     “Can’t wait to make Johnny jealous!” Ten singsonged, as he waltzed into the dorm later that night. Mark and Donghyuck were cuddled up on the couch, sharing a tub of ice cream.

     “What?” Donghyuck asked elegantly, choking slightly on ice cream. Mark shoved more ice cream in his boyfriend’s mouth to keep him quiet while he asked the questions.

     “Who, what, when, where, why,” Mark fired off. Donghyuck opened his mouth to talk again, but Mark scooped another bite of ice cream.

     “I’m not here to write a five-paragraph essay,” Ten groaned, “but I requested a collab with Taeyong, to make Johnny jealous. I sang the demo too, and it’s a sexy song, even better. And the best part is the costumes. My inner hoe is awakening.”

     “Aren’t you always a hoe?” Donghyuck asked. Mark realized he forgot to feed his boyfriend again.

     “Yes, but that’s besides the point,” Ten waved the statement aside, “the point is that if Taeyong’s there, so is Johnny.”

     “So your goal is…?” Mark asked.

     “To see if he’s really proportional everywhere.”

 

     “What the fuck?” Jaehyun asked. Mark and Donghyuck nodded vigorously. Usually, if Donghyuck came to rat someone out, Jaehyun would take it with a grain of salt. But this time, Mark was there too.

     “Those were his exact words,” Mark confirmed. Jaehyun sat back in his chair.

     “Oh my god,” Jaehyun muttered to himself. Mark and Donghyuck watched in silence as Jaehyun rubbed the crease between his eyebrows. These kids, Jaehyun decided, would make him age ten years with each comeback.

     “TEN!!” Jaehyun yelled. Donghyuck jumped.

     “What?!” Ten yelled back. Mark flinched.

     “Get in here!” Jaehyun yelled. Mark and Donghyuck looked at each other, panicked.

     “Uhh, Jaehyun, we, uh, really gotta go,” Mark said, dragging Donghyuck out of Jaehyun’s room with him. Jaehyun raised an eyebrow.

     “What the fuck?” Doyoung asked, poking his head into Jaehyun’s room. From the kitchen, Ten’s slippers shuffled along the floor.

     “Remove Jeno, Mark, and Donghyuck from the general vicinity, would you?” Jaehyun asked. Doyoung glanced at Ten, then at Jaehyun, and then back again. He made eye contact with Kun, who was standing in the hallway. Kun shrugged. 

     “Uhh, sure,” Doyoung said, popping back out. Ten stood in the doorway.

     “What?” he asked. Jaehyun gestured for him to come in. Ten scrunched his nose, but shut the door after himself.

     “ _That_ was your goal?” Jaehyun asked, trying to keep his voice down. He knew Kun would hear regardless. That man had the hearing capabilities of a bat.

     “Goal?” Ten asked, confused. Jaehyun sighed.

     “When I filled out that collab request form,” Jaehyun said, “I did not intend for you to use it to get into Johnny’s pants,”. Ten laughed.

     “Well, what did you think it was for?” Ten retorted, instead of defending himself. Jaehyun sighed again.

     “I legitimately thought that you just wanted to have a collaboration with Dante’s Inferno, and not to ‘see if he’s proportional everywhere’.” Ten shrugged.

     “The heart wants what it wants,”

     Jaehyun flipped him off.

     “Ok fine, the dick wants what it wants.” Ten amended.

     Jaehyun left the room.


	19. getting into cars with strange men (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya yeet  
> throwback to when I said I'd deliver more  
> jokes lmao  
> -Helena
> 
> Lol  
> \- min

~~~~**China Line**

**smol_dolphin:** why is ten crying again

 

 **Kunniang:** johnny left him on read

 

 **Sichenggg:** johnny’s taking a dump rn

 **Sichenggg:** maybe thats why

 

 **Injunnie:** tmi, bro

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** i hate this chat

 

 **smol_dolphin:** the door is over there

 

 **Injunnie:** dang ok chenle, no chill

 

     “Taeyong!” Ten called out. The red-haired man whipped around at the sound of his name, a smile blooming on his face when they made eye contact.

     “Ten!” Taeyong hopped up, pulling Ten into a hug.

     “I can’t believe this went through,” Ten said. A devilish sparkle twinkled in his eyes.

     “Why do you look like you planned this?” Taeyong asked suspiciously.

     “I’m just excited, that’s all.”

 

     “‘M tired,” Taeyong groaned. He and Ten had finally learned all the choreography. Six hours spent in the dance studio. Taeyong’s phone lit up. Ten passed it too him, but not before glancing at the screen. **_Jaehyunnie_ ** **.**

     “You have a text,” Ten said. He made a mental note to make fun of Jaehyun later, but his heart softened at the expression of joy on Taeyong’s face.

     “You’re so whipped,” Ten said. Taeyong ignored him in favor of reading the text.

     “I know,” Taeyong replied airly, not glancing up. Ten rolled his eyes. Sappy romance made him want to throw up. Taeyong giggled at his phone. Ten got up to check his own phone.

 

 **Kunniang:** [johnnyugly.jpg]

 **Kunniang:**  still think he’s hot?

 

 **Nine:** where tf did you even get that picture

 

 **Kunniang:** yukhei

 **Kunniang:** but thats not the point

 

 **Nine:** still a hot hunk

 

 **Kunniang:** [johnnyugly2.jpg]

 

 **Nine:** wtf is he doing

 

 **Kunniang:** according to yukhei

 **Kunniang:** he’s pissed off

 

 **Nine:** good

 

 **Kunniang:** ohmy god

 

 **Nine:** that was my entire goal

 

 **Kunniang:** i’m not even going to question

 

 **Nine:** good, dont

 

 **Kunniang:** you should talk to him

 

 **Nine:** if he talks to me first

 

     “I hate my life,” Johnny said for the eight-hundredth time that evening. Yukhei learned to tune him out after the first three times. Taeyong still wasn’t back from practice, which meant that the other members were either sleeping (Jisung), doing homework (Renjun and Jaemin, hopefully), eating (Yukhei), or doing shady stuff in their rooms (Yuta and Sicheng). And of course, Johnny was in the depths of his despair, moping around in his room. He wasn’t jealous of Taeyong, per se. Ok, he kind of was jealous that Taeyong got to hang around Ten. He had half a mind to drive the the dance studio and, under the guise of picking Taeyong up, make a move on Ten. He buried his face in his pillow. Yukhei’s loud chewing echoed in his mind.

     “Can you chew _any_ louder?” Johnny groaned into his pillow. Yukhei paused for a moment, before resuming at twice the volume.

     “Don’t be sad, big baby,” Yukhei said, mouth full, crumbs spilling everywhere, “everything is going to be alright.”

 

**China Line**

 

 ******Kunniang:** alright

 **Kunniang:** i am sick and tired of ten complaining

 **Kunniang:** lets make a plan

 

 **Sichenggg:** everytime taeyong leaves for a practice

 **Sichenggg:** johnny mopes around

 **Sichenggg:** hes getting on our nerves tbh

 

 **Injunnie:** wait but why us

 

 **yuk-HEY!:** i’m so down

 **yuk-HEY!:** johnny is getting annoying

 

 **Injunnie:** hes been annoying for the whole week

 **Injunnie:** since taeyong and ten started rehearsing

 

 **smol_dolphin:** i have an idea

 **smol_dolphin:** but does johnny have a car

 

 **Sichenggg:** yeah

 

 **smol_dolphin:** alright, listen here

  


     “This is such a bad idea,” Jaehyun said when he parked the car in the lot, right next to Johnny’s. Johnny shrugged.

     “You want your man, I want mine,” Johnny said. Jaehyun crossed his arms.

     “And how do you plan on making this work out?” Jaehyun asked.

     “I mean, we’ve texted several times,” Johnny said, “I think we’re chill?” Jaehyun face-palmed.

 

     “Last time, and then we should go home,” Taeyong promised. Ten reluctantly stood up. Once they had finished, Ten and Taeyong packed their backpacks and went downstairs. Jaehyun was waiting at the foot of the stairs, a smile on his face.

     “I’m not sure if you’re here to pick me up, or to pick Taeyong up,” Ten said teasingly. Taeyong’s face flushed scarlet.

     “I’m here to pick up the more attractive one, of course,” Jaehyun said cheekily. Ten brushed past Taeyong.

     “Thanks for picking me up, I really appreciate it!” Ten sang. Jaehyun gave Ten a shove.

     “Screw off, go get a ride from your own man,” Jaehyun laughed. He walked forward and took Taeyong’s hand.

     “Call up our manager,” Jaehyun said to Ten, “he’s gonna drive you home. I’m taking Yongie out for a ride.”

     “Wait, we could take him…”Taeyong started. He promptly froze when Jaehyun leaned down.

     “Let’s go, sweetheart,” Jaehyun whispered in Taeyong’s ear, leading him right past Ten and out to the parking lot. Ten stood there in feigned shock. How dare Taeyong and Jaehyun be a happy couple right in front of him! Ten stood awkwardly in the lobby, waiting for his manager.

     “Don’t bully Ten like that!” Taeyong said as soon as Jaehyun had started the car.

     “Don’t worry, I’m not bullying him,” Jaehyun said. Taeyong huffed and looked away.

     “Wait, isn’t that Johnny’s car?” Taeyong asked, eyeing the car that was turning away from them. Jaehyun put his hand on Taeyong’s knee and drew small circles, temporarily distracting Taeyong.

     “I’m the one taking you out tonight, stop looking at Johnny boy,” Jaehyun said. Taeyong looked at Jaehyun.

     “I thought you were taking me home?” Taeyong asked.

     “Yeah, but did I say whose home?” Jaehyun smirked at Taeyong’s flushed cheeks and panicked expression.

 

     Ten was scrolling through his phone when a car pulled up. Thinking it was his manager, he got up and walked towards it, only to realize: it was not the company car.

     “Hop in, hot stuff,” the driver said, rolling down his window.. Ten squinted at him, but he pulled open the passenger side door anyway.

     “Didn’t expect you to come,” Ten said lightly.

     “Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to get into a car with strange men?” Johnny retorted, pulling out of the lot.

     “You’re not a stranger,” Ten muttered. He felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter; a new feeling, Ten was always confident, but something about Johnny makes him shy and want to be hugged. _Such a bottom,_ Doyoung would say.

     “Well, sit tight, we’re having some fun tonight,” Johnny said, “put on your seatbelt. No protection no fun.” Ten’s face flushed. Johnny glanced to the side, loving the way the passing streetlights reflected in Ten’s dark eyes.

     “That was such a bad joke,” Ten said, slapping Johnny’s arm. Johnny grinned.

     “I’ve got more, want to hear them?” Johnny asked.

     “No, but yes,” Ten said. He loved hearing Johnny talk, loved the way his voice was deep and soothing. Johnny cleared his throat, willing the confidence to bubble up.

     “I’m taking you for a ride, and hopefully, tonight ends with another kind of ride.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLU FUCK THIS CHAPTER IS S I N F U L


	20. getting into cars with strange men (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's late, but it's good.  
> At least in my opinion, lol  
> :))))  
> DISCLAIMER: I don't watch Anime, Aria does, so everything is from her lol  
> UNEDITED, WE DIE LIKE REAL MEN   
> -Helena

     “Where do you think Jaehyun went?” Doyoung asked Kun, who was sitting on his bed watching anime. 

     “To pick Taeyong up,” Kun said, not even bothering to look up. Doyoung breathed a sigh of relief. 

     “Great! I’m going to meet Taeil in ten. If Jaehyun comes back before then, tell him I went out to buy milk or something,” Doyoung said, pulling on a jacket and hurrying out the door. 

     “We’re all lactose intolerant,” Kun muttered to himself, going right back to his laptop. 

 

     “Johnny planned this?” Taeyong asked incredulously. Jaehyun laughed, a warm sound that made Taeyong want to bury his face his Jaehyun’s broad chest. 

     “Technically, Yukhei did it,” Jaehyun said, pulling into the left lane. 

     “Hmph, I knew you wouldn’t think to take me out on a date,” Taeyong feigned anger, crossing his arms and looking out the window. Jaehyun didn’t say anything, instead putting his right hand on Taeyong’s thigh. Taeyong’s heart thumped, his face instantly flushing, but he did not relent, still facing away from Jaehyun. He ignored Jaehyun’s hand, but inside, Taeyong was screaming from the possessiveness that suddenly erupted from Jaehyun. Taeyong would never admit he had kinks, but Jaehyun acting this way definitely struck something inside. Noticing Taeyong’s stubbornness, Jaehyun creeps his hand a little farther and gives Taeyong’s thigh a squeeze. Taeyong squeals in surprise, smacking Jaehyun’s hand. 

     “Hey!” Taeyong said, defiant. Jaehyun smirked. 

     “Don’t pretend you didn’t like that,” Jaehyun teased. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Taeyong’s cute pout. 

     “Bully,” Taeyong muttered, but did not remove Jaehyun’s hand that was still sitting on his thigh. Jaehyun rubbed his leg, loving the way Taeyong involuntarily tensed in surprise before relaxing. 

     “So pretty,” 

 

     “I cannot handle scary movies!” Taeyong whispered urgently to Jaehyun as they stood in line for tickets. 

     “It’s alright, I can handle you,” Jaehyun whispered back. At this hour, there were not many people at the movie theater, only those who came to catch the last showing of the night. 

     “At least buy me popcorn,” Taeyong muttered. 

     “Of course,” Jaehyun said, ruffling Taeyong’s hair. When they got to the booth, Taeyong had whipped out his wallet, ready to pay for the tickets, but Jaehyun was quicker than he was in handing his card over to the girl at the desk. 

     “My treat,” Jaehyun whispered. 

     “Ok, but I’m buying popcorn, then,” Taeyong said. But alas, Jaehyun didn’t let him pay for that either. 

     “Hey!” Taeyong huffed. Jaehyun smiled. 

     “I’m taking you out, you can take me out later,” Jaehyun laughed at Taeyong’s pout. The sudden urge to kiss it away made Jaehyun lean down, but he caught himself. Luckily, the popcorn was ready and Jaehyun hurried to cover his moment of hesitation. Taeyong's heart was beating with anticipation as he let Jaehyun lead him to their seats. The movie trailers had just started, but Taeyong was already shaking. 

     "Scared already?" Jaehyun asked gently. Taeyong shook his head. 

     "You make me more nervous than the movie could," Taeyong whispered. Jaehyun grinned. 

     “You’re so sweet,” Jaehyun said. Taeyong’s heart fluttered. He was so caught up in Jaehyun that he didn’t notice that the movie had already started, the sudden loud noise startling him.

 

     “Never again,” Taeyong wheezed, still trying to catch his breath. Around them, people were starting to get up from their seats. Jaehyun laughed, giving Taeyong’s hand a squeeze. Taeyong jumped. 

     “Since when…?” Taeyong asked, gesturing to their still-clasped hands. 

     “You seized my hand the moment the movie started,” Jaehyun smiled. Taeyong flushed. 

     “I hope I didn’t hurt you with my thrashing,” Tayong muttered. 

     “You may have cut off my circulation,” Jaehyun said, “but I’m not complaining.”

     “Let’s go,” Taeyong said, pulling Jaehyun up, “I want to pee so bad.” 

 

     “I’m going to drive you home, alright?” Jaehyun asked once they had settled in his car. Taeyong pouted, not wanting the night to be over. Jaehyun, overtaken by a sudden burst of confidence, wants to kiss his pout away. So he tilts Taeyong’s chin up and kisses him gently. To his surprise, Taeyong kisses him back. Jaehyun is lost in the feeling of Taeyong’s soft lips against his own, the daring swipes of his tongue. He slides his hands behind Taeyong’s head, nestling his fingers in the freshly-dyed red hair. Jaehyun pulls back first, gasping for air. His heart spikes when Taeyong lets a soft whimper as their lips disconnected. Jaehyun leans down, touching his forehead with Taeyong’s.

     “I think I love you,” Jaehyun whispered. 

     “I think I love you, too,” Taeyong replied. Jaehyun smiled and kissed Taeyong’s neck, drinking in the soft scent of his skin and savoring it. But he stopped himself. 

     “It’s late, you need to rest,” Jaehyun said, pulling back. Taeyong’s heart fell at those words, but he knew Jaehyun was right. So he promised himself. Moments like these with Jaehyun are meant to be treasured and held to his heart. 

  
  


     “Where do you want to go, sweetheart?” Johnny asked casually. Ten tried not to let show that the pet names were really hitting their mark. 

     “Anywhere beautiful,” Ten said, trying to get his breathing under control. 

     “But you are the most beautiful,” Johnny said smoothly. Ten opened his mouth to retort, but found that he had nothing to say, instead letting out a sigh through his nose.

     “How about the river? I’ll buy you some food and we can walk,” Johnny said. 

     “You really know the way to my heart, don’t you?” 

     “Food? That’s the way to your heart?” 

     “No! Sentimental walks by the riverside,” Ten rolled his eyes. 

     “Ahh, good food is always good,” Johnny grinned when Ten slapped his arm. 

     “Yeah, but I’m not  _ that _ easy!” Ten squealed. 

     Johnny loved watching Ten. Everything about Ten was graceful and smooth. Even his eating was beautiful. They had bought kebabs from a street vendor close to the park, and Ten was elegantly picking the fried tofu off of the wooden stick. Johnny smiled to himself.  _ I’m so lucky.  _

     “The city is so pretty,” Ten said, finishing his kebab and taking a seat on a park bench and watching the reflection of the city lights in the river. Johnny takes a seat next to him. 

     “It reminds me of my hometown,” Johnny said. 

     “Chicago?” Ten asked. Johnny nodded. 

     “It’s alright,” Johnny said, taking Ten’s hand. He was shocked to find Ten’s fingers cold. 

     “Are you cold?” Johnny asked. Ten nodded. Automatically, Johnny unzipped his own jacket and draped it over Ten’s shoulders. He pulled Ten closer to himself, letting Ten’s head rest on his shoulder. Ten flushed, silently hoping his cheeks would be hidden by the darkness. 

     “What do you miss the most about Thailand?” Johnny asked. 

     “My family,” Ten said automatically. 

     “Same, for me,” Johnny said,  “Let’s talk about happy things, hmm?” 

     “What’s your favorite anime?” Ten asked. 

     “Naruto,” Johnny answered. Ten scoffed. 

     “Hey, that’s only because Yuta watches it all the time,” Johnny defended. 

     “Nah, Attack on Titan is so much better,” Ten said. 

     “What do you mean? I’m not into that Mikasa Ackerman stuff,” Johnny shook his head. 

     “Ok, but Naruto is dry,” 

     “What do you mean Naruto is dry?!” 

 

     With every word that came out of Johnny’s mouth, Ten felt like he was falling in deeper and deeper. Originally, he had thought that Johnny was hot and sexy. But now, he knows he’s in love with Johnny’s mind, his voice, the way Johnny never seemed to be cold, the way his shoulders are a perfect height for him to rest his head on, the way...everything. A light scent of Johnny’s cologne from his jacket was comforting to him, as if reassuring him that he was in good hands. Ten knew he was. Johnny made him feel a level of safe that no one had given to him in a long time. Without even realizing it, Ten had started to drift off. 

     Johnny found it adorable when Ten was nodding off on his shoulder, his dark hair spilling over his eyes. Johnny sat there for a long time, facing the river and the city, with Ten sleeping on his shoulder. He knew he needed to return soon, it was edging towards midnight, and there was work to be done tomorrow. He glanced at Ten in peaceful slumber and studied his face. A sudden pang of emotion, and Johnny realizes that he wouldn’t mind waking up to this for the rest of his life. He chides himself.  _ Too young for that now.  _

     He’s careful to support Ten’s head as he tucks an arm under his knees and behind his head, sweeping him up bridal style. Even with two winter coats on, Ten’s weight is no problem for Johnny. Ten unconsciously tries to bury his head in Johnny’s chest, craving its warmth and stability. Johnny feels his heart flutter at the small gesture.  _ Shit, I’m really falling in deep. _

 

     Yuta only raises his eyebrow when Taeyong comes home at midnight, seemingly anxious on covering his neck with his scarf. Yuta and Sicheng both raise an eyebrow when Johnny knocks on their dorm room door at one in the morning, carrying a sleeping Ten, still wrapped in Johnny’s jacket. Johnny gives them an awkward smile as he places Ten down on his bed and almost sprints out of the dorm, scared of the glares Sicheng and Yuta sent him. 

     “He brought Tennie back pretty late,” Sicheng whispered to Yuta as Johnny closed the door behind him.

     “It’s ok, Johnny is a good guy,” Yuta said. Sicheng shrugged. 

     “I wasn’t doubting Johnny, I was doubting Ten,” Sicheng said, making his way back to their room as Yuta followed.

     “I can’t wait for Ten to complain of being tired tomorrow,” Yuta said after a pause. 

     “Why are we still awake?” Sicheng asked. Yuta shrugged. 

     “You were needy,” Yuta said casually. Sicheng gagged. 

     “I hate you,” Sicheng groaned. Yuta laughed.

     “No, you love me,” 

     “We’ll see about that,” Sicheng said, pulling the blankets up. Yuta huffed, turning off the lights. Despite his words, Sicheng still snuggled into Yuta, sighing in content when he runs his hand through his hair. 


	21. taeyong and his hick--scarf. SCARF.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes late again.  
> just like my coding assignment  
> oof  
> I SWEAR ON MY EXO ALBUMS THAT I WILL DELIVER MORE NEXT CHAPTER OK I'M SO SORRY I'M SUCH A SHIT ASS PERSON OMG  
> WE DIE LIKE REAL MEN AGAIN.  
> I realized I was so unclear last chapter about where Ten wound up, but I tried to explain it lol. So basically Johnny just carried Ten to the car and took him back to the Dante's Inferno dorm, and let ten sleep on his bunk (which he shares with Yukhei) and johnny crashed on the couch. DON'T GET ANY DIRTY IDEAS, WE ARE NOT ABOUT THAT IN THIS GOOD CHRISTINA HOUSEHOLD.   
> -Helena

     It was always mornings like these, when Sicheng’s face was serene as he slept, that Yuta felt himself falling deeper into the abyss, never to find his way out. Sicheng had clung onto Yuta’s arm in his sleep, so when Yuta shifted, Sicheng let out a small whimper. Yuta stroked Sicheng’s blonde hair. He loved the idea of being Sicheng’s and Sicheng beings his. He would never call himself a jealous man (but Jaemin did). 

     “Why are you awake?” Sicheng mumbled. 

     “Because it’s six-thirty and the little ones will be late if they don’t get up now,” Yuta said, swinging his legs off the bed. A tug on his arm. 

     “But Taeyong exists,” 

     “And he came home last night at midnight, no doubt with a hickey on his neck,” Yuta recalled the scarf. Sicheng yawned and stretched. 

     “Fine, I guess we’ll be the moms this morning,” he groaned. 

     “We’re the married couple of the group,” Yuta pointed out. Sicheng ignored him in favor of getting out of bed. 

 

     “Shit,” Yukhei muttered.

     “What the fuck?” Yuta screeched. 

     “Damn...he got you goooood,” Sicheng snickered. 

     “Honestly, I’m quite glad that the little ones have already left for school,” Taeil sighed, “This is quite graphic.” 

     “Shut the fuck up, let me live my life,” Taeyong groaned, tugging up the collar of his shirt. He should have worn the scarf to breakfast. 

     “Wow that’s gonna need a fuck ton of concealer,” Johnny noted. 

     “Is Ten still in your room?” Taeyong asked Johnny suddenly. All eyes turn to Johnny, whose expression is worth a million dollars. 

     “Umm.. yes?” Johnny said carefully, “he’s still asleep though.” 

     “Mhm,” Yukhei said loudly, “and where did you sleep last night?” 

     “On the couch,” Johnny said.

     “MHM,” Yukhei glared at Johnny. 

     “Hey! How was I supposed to know where Elemental lived!?” Johnny defended, voice rising. A creak of a door, and the kitchen goes silent. 

     “Well well well,” Ten muttered as he stood in the doorway of Johnny and Yukhei’s room, “if it isn’t my favorite hoes.” He rubbed his eyes with the Chicago Bulls sweatshirt Johnny had placed next to the bed for him to wear. 

     “I like your top, where’d you get it?” Taeyong asked, before realizing that his question had two  _ very different meanings.  _

     “I got both from Chicago,” Ten said casually. Sicheng choked on his drink. 

     “Hey, I’m actually curious,” Ten said as he plopped himself onto Jisung’s empty chair right beside Taeyong before his eyes landed on... 

     “Is that a fucking hickey?!” Ten asked. Taeyong’s face turned beet red. 

     “Yes it is,” Taeil confirmed. Yuta and Yukhei tried to hide their laughter. Ten took a deep breath before continuing. 

     “Ok I have one question,” Ten said, “doesn’t even relate to Taeyong.” He gestured at Sicheng and Yuta, “who’s the top?”

     Sicheng actually choked on his drink this time. 

     Yuta snorted.

     “Alright, got my answer, time to leave,” Ten said, standing up. Johnny immediately stood up as well. 

     “Let me drive you home,” Johnny said. Yukhei wiggled his eyebrows at Taeil, who seemed to be thinking the same thing. 

     “Ohh, a hickey for Ten, too?” Yukhei asked. Ten flipped him off. 

  
  


     “On a scale of one to ten,” Renjun said as he slid into the seat beside Jeno, “what would you rate Jaemin?” 

     “What’s a perfect ten?” Jeno asked, pulling out his sandwich as Jaemin took the seat on his other side. 

     “Your ideal man,” Renjun replied. 

     “Then Jaemin is a ten,” Jeno said simply. Jaemin grinned. 

     “What about me?” Renjun asked. Jeno pondered for a moment, earning a fake offended huff from Renjun. 

     “Renjun would be an eleven,” Jeno said finally. Renjun flushed. 

     “To be honest, same though,” Jaemin replied, “Renjun is a total eleven out of ten.” 

     “You guys flatter me,” Renjun muttered, suddenly very interested in his jacket sleeve. 

     “You’re just too cute,” Jeno shrugged. Jaemin reached over to ruffle Renjun’s hair. 

     “As much as I love this display of affection,” Donghyuck said loudly, taking a seat across from Jeno, “you guys are absolutely disgusting.” 

     “As if you don’t coddle Mark all the damn time,” Jeno retorted. Donghyuck opened his mouth to talk, but was shut up by Jaemin stuffing an entire cupcake into his mouth. 

     “Yukhei’s birthday was yesterday, so we made a hell lot of cupcakes,” Jaemin said as he passed one to Jeno. Donghyuck managed to chew and swallow his mouthful of sugary diabetes. 

     “Who the fuck decided strawberry was the way to go?” Donghyuck groaned.

     "Strawberry shortcake, you uncultured swine," Renjun huffed. 

     “Sicheng made them,” Jaeming said, shrugging. 

     “Hey, it was either strawberry by Sicheng or charcoal by Jisung,” Renjun defended. 

     “True that,” Jaemin nodded. 

     “It’s okay,” Jeno said, “if Chenle and Jisung really do live together sometime, at least Chenle has enough money to order food everyday.” 

     “Taeyong would have a heart attack if Chensung ate take-out everyday,” Renjun said. 

     “Well, Kun probably would too, but then again, Kun had a heart attack after he found out Jaehyun had given Taeyong a hickey,” Jeno shrugged. Renjun screeched. 

     “A what?!” 

     “You didn’t see Taeyong’s hickey this morning?” Donghyuck asked, stealing another cupcake. 

     “No, this morning was Sicheng and Yuta,” Jaemin said, shaking his head. 

     “Aww damn, you missed the good tea,” Donghyuck shrugged. Jeno flicked his forehead. 

     “How do you even know that Taeyong got a hickey from Jaehyun?” Jeno asked. 

     “Get yourself a man who knows all the tea but not if there’s a bee in his hair,” Donghyuck said, waving his third cupcake in the air. 

  
  


**smol_dolphin:** jisunggggie

**smol_dolphin:** i’m lonely

 

**Jisung_pwark:** how the heck are you texting me in class

 

**smol_dolphin:** i could ask the same of you

 

**Jisung_pwark:** im in culinary arts

**Jisung_pwark:** she chill

 

**smol_dolphin:** oh

**smol_dolphin:** i’m in chinese

 

**Jisung_pwark:** don’t you speak chinese

**Jisung_pwark:** wait arent you chiense

 

**smol_dolphin:** exactly

**smol_dolphin:** low effort credit

**smol_dolphin:** also a grade booster

 

**Jisung_pwark:** wow

 

**smol_dolphin:** what are you cooking

 

**Jisung_pwark:** it was supposed to be a calzone

**Jisung_pwark:** but then it turned out to be a cal-no

 

**smol_dolphin:** yikes

**smol_dolphin:** aww now i’m hungry

 

**Jisung_pwark:** ice cream after school?

 

**smol_dolphin:** i have to record :(

 

**Jisung_pwark:** :(

 


	22. operation luwoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> exams are OVER!!  
> well, final exams arent, but my APs are over so YEEEEET  
> yet another cringey date scene  
> I think i delivered? I'm not sure, lang has fried my brain  
> love y'all  
> -Helena 
> 
> Patbingsu is kind of like shaved ice that's absolutely heavenly

**China Line**

**yuk_HEY!:** guys i need help

 

**Injunnie:** with what

 

**yuk_HEY!:** boy problems

 

**Kunniang:** i can guarantee you that Jungwoo feels the same

 

**yuk_HEY!:** wtf i didn’t even mention him?

 

**smol_dolphin:** your not subtle

 

**Sichenggg:** you’re *

 

**smol_dolphin:** screw you my midyear exams are over

 

**Injunnie:** screw you mine aren’t

 

**Kunniang:** why aren’t you two studying

 

**yuk_HEY!:** why doesnt jungwoo love me

**yuk_HEY!:** he’s so beautiful

 

**Sichenggg:** ….

 

     Yukhei sighed loudly, flopping down onto his bunk. The wood groaned in annoyance. Johnny flipped him off. 

     “Can you not, this bed already handles a lot,” Johnny muttered, pulling his covers up. 

     “Who’s idea was it to make two six foot dudes share a bunk bed?” Yukhei groaned. Johnny ignored him. 

     “Johnny, I need boy advice,” Yukhei said again. 

     “You sound like a pubescent heterosexual female in junior high school,” Johnny muttered. Yukhei rolled his eyes. 

     “Whatever, but I need boy advice,” Yukhei said.

     “You need to talk to him,” Johnny said. Yukhei snorted. 

     “Is that what you did with Ten?” 

     “No,”

     “You do realize that no one in this entire situation got their boyfriend by ‘talking to them’?” Yukhei pointed out. It was true; Taeyong had slid into Jaehyun’s DMs; Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin were in the same class; Chenle and Jisung were natural buddies; Taeil and Doyoung had kissed in the bathroom; Johnny and Ten had gone straight to the first date. Just Yukhei left. 

     “Yeah, but everyone had their own approach to the situation,” Johnny noted, “maybe you destined to ‘talking to him’.” Suddenly, a banging came from the other side of the wall. 

     “Can y’all shut up or do I have to shut you up?” Yuta yelled. 

     “Not as bad as you two moaning at three am!” Johnny challenged back. 

     “Go the fuck to sleep,” Taeyong screeched from the other wall. Johnny and Yukhei looked at each other and shrugged. 

 

     Jungwoo plopped himself on the couch next to Ten. Ten didn’t look up from his phone. Jungwoo sighed loudly. Ten still didn’t look up. Jungwoo sighed loudly again. Ten looked up. 

     “What do you want?” Ten wrinkled his nose at him. 

     “What is love, Ten?” Jungwoo asked. 

     “What the fuck?” Ten answered. 

     “How do I know I love someone?” Jungwoo asked. Realization dawned on Ten. 

     “Oh, is this about that six foot hottie from Dante’s Inferno?” Ten asked. 

     “His name is Wong Yukhei, and he’s exactly six feet tall,” Jungwoo said dreamily. 

     “Talk to him,” Ten said. Jungwoo looked at Ten. 

     “I’m too scared for that,” Jungwoo said. Ten shrugged. 

     “Then I guess you don’t love him enough,” Ten replied. 

 

     Yukhei’s finger hovered over the send button. A friend request for  **Junguwu.** He took a deep breath, but a sudden burst of nerves overtook him. He threw his phone onto his bed, plopped down next to it. Why was it so hard? Yes, Jungwoo made him infinitely nervous, and yes, he feared rejection. But  _ Jungwoo.  _ Yukhei shook his head to clear it and picked up the phone again. 

 

     Jungwoo knew that Yukhei liked him, but he was too shy to initiate anything. In Ten’s words, Jungwoo was “100% a bottom”. But Jungwoo wanted this so bad. He wanted Yukhei to hug him and cuddle him and kiss him gently and tell him he was pretty. Taking a deep breath, he picked up his phone and opened up the profile.  **yuk_HEY!** **** The small button seemed to taunt him. Steeling his nerves, Jungwoo pressed it. 

 

**Junguwu:** Hi!

 

**yuk_HEY!:** Hey

 

     Yukhei froze.  _ What the heck?  _ Did they text each other at the same time?! 

 

**yuk_HEY!:** wow coincidences 

 

**Junguwu:** yeah lol

 

**yuk_HEY!:** i don’t mean to sound creepy

**yuk_HEY!** I just wanted to tell you you’re kinda hot 

 

**Junguwu:** thanks!

 

     Jungwoo’s scream echoed through the dorm. Kun yelled at him. Jungwoo ignored him. 

 

**yuk_HEY!:** so uh

     Chenle hopped over next to Jungwoo on his bed, curious as to why he was screaming. Jungwoo tilted his phone so Chenle could see. 

     “He’s about to ask you out!!” Chenle yelled. Next door, Kun was mad typing at his own phone. 

     “What if he doesn’t?” Jungwoo asked? Kun typed faster. 

     “I’m sure he will!” Chenle yelled again. Kun sent the message. 

     “Is Yukhei finally being a man?” Donghyuck screamed, launching himself across the room to Jungwoo’s bed. Mark frowned at him from the doorway. 

     “I hope so!” Jungwoo whispered. Mark shoved Donghyuck’s legs to one side. 

     “I’m sure he will, I think he really likes you,” Mark said, ever the voice of reason. Donghyuck shoved Mark aside. 

     “I can’t wait for Jungwoo to finally get a boyfriend!” Donghyuck yelled. 

 

**China Line**

 

**Kunniang:** yukhei i swear to god

**Kunniang:** if you don’t ask him out right now

**Kunniang:** i will brutally murder you 

 

**Sichenggg:** shit is it happening

 

**Injunnie:** Jeno just informed me that jungwoo screamed, so i guess

 

**yuk_HEY!:** what the fuck

 

**Kunniang:** WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE

**Kunniang:** GO ASK HIM OUT

 

     Johnny glanced at Yukhei from the other side of the room. He glanced back down at his phone. 

     “Ten told me to tell you to ask Jungwoo out,” Johnny said. Yukhei jumped. 

     “Fuck, why does everyone know this is happening?” Yukhei muttered to himself. A knock on the door. Taeyong poked his head in. 

     “Jaehyun told me to tell you to ask Jungwoo out,” Taeyong said. Yukhei screeched. Johnny looked at Taeyong and showed him his own phone screen. 

     “Wow, we’re really all in on this,” Renjun noted from behind Taeyong in the doorway, where he and Jaemin stood in the hall outside Yukhei’s room. 

     “Hey, uh, Yukhei,” Jaemin said tentatively, “in case you didn’t get the memo, Jeno told us to tell you to ask Jungwoo out.” 

     “Fuck, sure, I’ll ask him out,” Yukhei muttered. 

 

**yuk_HEY!:** hey so you wanna go out?

 

     “HE ASKED ME OUT!!” Jungwoo screamed. Eight pairs of eyes rolled in the dorm as Jungwoo yelled out. 

     “Told ya,” Chenle nudged him. 

     “Say yes,” Donghyuck said. Jungwoo froze. 

     “Oh my god, I can’t, I’m--,” Jungwooo began. Donghyuck’s hand came down over his mouth. 

     “I’m gonna type it for you,” Chenle threatened. 

     “Taeil sends his congrats!” Doyoung shouted from across the dorm. 

 

**Junguwu:** of course! 

 

     Yukhei jumped up, scaring his audience of members. 

     “HE SAID YES!” Yukhei yelled. Applause and a whistle. 

     “Geez guys,” Jisung muttered, “it’s not like he’s getting married.” 

     “Aww, baby, when you and Chenle get married, I’ll cheer even louder,” Taeyong cooed. 

  
  
  
  
  


**China Line**

 

**Kunniang:** Jungwoo is free thrusday after 4 PM

**Kunniang:** ask him out to eat, he loves eating

**Kunniang:** the patbingsu place

  
  


     “Kun said the patbingsu place, tomorrow after 4,” Sicheng yelled from next door. 

  
  


**yuk_HEY!:** how about tomorrow at 5? 

 

**Junguwu:** sure!

**Junguwu:** where do you want to go? 

 

**yuk_HEY!:** how about Patbingsu Palace? 

  
  


     “Oh my god!” Jungwoo yelled, making Donghyuck and Chenle jump. 

     “What?!” Mark asked. 

     “He’s taking me to my favorite place? Patbingsu Palace? I’m in love!” Jungwoo screeched. In the room adjacent, Kun and Doyoung share a knowing glance.

 

     Yukhei stood outside Patbingsu Palace in a nice shirt and jeans, fiddling with his phone. He had tried to listen to Sicheng and Taeyong educate him on how to behave on a date, but eventually, Johnny had pointed out that he and Jisung could pretend to sit at the next table and text him. 

     “Hey! Sorry I’m late, Chenle was being a brat,” Jungwoo said as he stepped out of the taxi. 

     “No problem, I just got here too,” Yukhei said, “shall we?” 

  
  


**Jisung_pwark:** thanks for the stalling, baby

 

**smol_dolphin:** anytime, sweetheart

 

**Operation Luwoo**

 

**Jisung_pwark:** operation Luwoo is a go

 

**Old_man:** roger that

 

**Kunniang:** jungwoo is going to order the matcha one with condensed milk topping

 

**Chicago_boi:** got it

 

     Yukhei led Jungwoo to the table two down from where Johnny and Jisung were sitting. Across the divider in the middle, Taeyong sat with Taeil to listen into the conversation and direct the clueless Yukhei. He handed a menu to Jungwoo and pretended to browse his own. In his lap, Yukhei’s phone it up. 

 

**Chicago_boi:** order him a matcha with condensed milk topping

 

     “What would you gentlemen like today?” the waiter asked. Yukhei looked at Jungwoo, who gestured for Yukhei to answer first. 

     “My date would like a matcha with condensed milk topping,” Yukhei said, “and I’ll take a classic vanilla.” The waiter smiled and took their orders. 

     “How did you know matcha with condensed milk topping was my favorite?” Jungwoo asked, curious. Yukhei smiled. 

     “I have my ways,” Yukhei said devilishly. Jungwoo laughed. The phone in Yukhei’s lap lit up again. 

 

**Leadermom:** tell him he looks good today 

 

     “You look absolutely stunning, by the way,” Yukhei said. Jungwoo flushed. 

     “Thanks, you too,” Jungwoo said. 

 

**Old_man:** tell him why you wanted to date him

 

     “You know,” Yukhei said, “when I first saw you, I thought you were the purest, sweetest person I’ve ever met. I wanted to get to know you since then.” 

     “Aww, thanks!” Jungwoo smiled. 

     “First impression of me?” Yukhei asked. 

     “Well, you looked quite scary at first,” Jungwoo said, giggling a little, “you know, six foot and all, but you’re actually really gentle.” 

     “Me? Scary? Really?” Yukhei asked. Jungwoo laughed and nodded. 

     “Hey, in my defense, you always have this killer expression on stage, and your duality is scary,” Jungwoo said. 

 

**Leadermom:** ask him about his likes and dislikes

 

     “So, what do you do in your spare time?” Yukhei asked. 

     “You mean besides rehearsals and recordings?” 

     “Of course, those always come first.” 

     “Well, I like to sing, but that’s given. I like to eat, obviously,”

     “Hey, no shame in that, me too,” Yukhei grinned. He glanced down at his phone. 

 

**Chicago_boi:** kun said he wants to learn chinese 

 

     “I’ve also wanted to learn Chinese,” Jungwoo said. 

     “Hey, I can teach you both Cantonese and Mandarin,” Yukhei grinned. Just then, the waiter comes back with their desserts. 

     “I love matcha,” Jungwoo said as he took a spoonful. Yukhei stored that piece of information for later. The table fell into a comfortable silence as both boys dug in. 

 

**Jisung_pwark:** pay the bill when it comes around 

 

     “Was it good?” Yukhei asked once they had finished their desserts. Jungwoo nodded enthusiastically. 

     “Loved it,”  _ love you, too.  _

     “I’m glad,” Yukhei said. The waiter came back around, placed the bill on the table, and took the bowls away. Without even glancing at the total, Yukhei slid his card into the clip and handed it back to the waiter. 

     “Let me pay for mine, at least,” Jungwoo tried to hand his own card over, but Yukhei shook his head. 

     “I’m taking you out,” he said. 

     “Next time, I’ll take you out,” Jungwoo said as they stood up to leave. 

     “You would go on another date with me?” Yukhei asked, barely able to conceal the excitement in his voice. 

     “Of course!” Jungwoo said, “next time, when there are no Johnny and Jisung -like figures sitting at the table across.” Yukhei opened his mouth, but found nothing to say. 

     “Call me,” Jungwoo smiled as he stepped into the cab. Yukhei nodded.

 

**Junguwu:** next time :)

**Author's Note:**

> LEAVE US COMMENTS PLS  
> THEY GIVE US HAPPINESS


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